Who is the closest relative to "grandma" or "grandmother"? Is the psychiatrist's conclusion the same as you think?

Author | Inspector (1407 words, about 4 minutes to read)

When many people are young, they are often asked this question:

Will you be filial to your grandmother or your grandmother when you grow up?

Would you be closer or closer to your grandfather?

Although the children live with their grandparents or grandparents every day, and they already have a natural family connection between them, some old people still have to fight on this issue. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, you will say that the child is a "white-eyed wolf".

In response to this problem, there are also different voices, some people believe that in front of the child, he should not be allowed to make choices about his family;

Others feel that this question can make children understand the importance of their loved ones.

Some foreign scholars have also conducted a survey on this issue, but the survey report has given an answer that shocked everyone.

▼ These people who are connected to the blood of children do not have the so-called intimacy

Every time you ask a child such a question, you are already emphasizing a problem to the child: there is a certain difference between grandma and grandpa and grandma and grandpa.

And such thinking is also constantly hinting at children, so that they should distinguish between relatives on both sides, and then make the choice of relationship and estrangement.

For simple children, this is already a moral kidnapping, they will not make a distinction between such intimacy from the beginning, in the child's heart, their own family is very close.

However, due to the emergence of such a problem, under the influence of the choice of thought, they also invisibly began to compare grandparents and grandparents, and inadvertently there will be a sense of intimacy in distance.

★ The scientists also gave a list of "intimacy orders."

In the last century, many scientists have investigated this problem. Even today, we still use such an extremely close order, the order of the elderly and children in close proximity from high to low is grandma, grandma, grandpa and grandpa.

And this ranking is also based on the basis of scholars according to the degree of sadness of the children at the early death of the elders. And because grandma stays with children for a short time, most of them are more willing to spend money to buy some snacks and toys for their children to coax children, and they are also more willing to be close to their children, which makes children have a natural sense of intimacy with their grandmothers.

★ The relationship between the elderly and children is also related to the following factors

●Children "get closer and closer"

The establishment of any intimate relationship is not completed in one day, and the relationship between children and the elderly is mostly established under the love of the elderly for their children.

The general rule is that whoever brings more children, can get along with children for a longer time, understands the child's mind, and who can get the child's "favor" more.

Before the age of 3, the child will also establish a preliminary attachment relationship with the nurturer, which will also affect the relationship between the elderly and the child.

● The "family education concept" is different, which will affect the intimate relationship

Children are not thoughtless robots, and they can feel how the elderly treat them.

What kind of educational concepts the elderly use to treat children, and what kind of influences will children be affected. If the grandmother has a stronger possessiveness and forcibly instills in the child an idea that makes them make a choice, then the child will also be forced to make an intimate choice because of this idea, against subjective consciousness.

● Parents' attitudes will also affect children's choices

Fundamentally, it should be the parents who spend the longest time with their children.

What kind of attitude the child's parents have towards the elderly, the children will also be affected invisibly.

If parents establish a negative image of an old man in front of their children, then the child will also subconsciously distance themselves when they are face to face.

Long-term habits are difficult to change overnight, because parents have different guidance and demonstration for their children, children will have different choices of intimate relationships.

Spicy Mom Quotes:

Although fundamentally, whoever is good to the child can be more intimate with the child, there are still many grandparents who force the child to make the choices they are not willing to make.

Both sides are relatives who are related to the child by blood, who is good to the child, the child will feel it, let the child make a choice spontaneously, so that it is the best love and education for the child, and can also let the child grow up healthily in love.

Parents, have you ever asked your child to make such a choice?

(Image from the Internet)