"When someone close to you is experiencing a mental illness, it can get tough with him, especially when you live together.
The focus of life will be to take care of his illness, the pressure of life may also be multiplied, and it may be difficult for the other party to share some responsibilities with you.
You may be wondering how to help them while setting boundaries to protect themselves. ”
Most people may expect someone to tell them the best solution to the problem, but there may be no shortcuts on the path to healing. When we can start with these things, starting with understanding the disease itself, providing support, establishing boundaries, and learning to care for ourselves, we may find answers slowly along the way.
01
In relationships,
What impacts will we face?
When someone close to you is diagnosed with a mental illness, he may be hesitant to tell you. Maybe it's the fear that once you know it, you'll end the relationship. Neither of you may be sure if you can face such a situation together.
Because of illness, the other person's mental state can no longer take on the same responsibilities as before, so whether it is from the life or financial aspects, your pressure may become greater. For example, he may not be able to keep the room tidy or have difficulty having a stable job, he may be more dependent on you financially, and you will need to do one more job to support both parties. In addition to these, you may also feel very discouraged because his condition is not under control.
Image source: "A Thought of Ignorance"
But even with these underlying stressors, mental illness doesn't necessarily affect your relationship. There are ways you can cope with the stress of your situation, or you can use some ways to make your sick lover feel better.
02
Learn about mental illness
Much of the information about the causes of different mental illnesses and the best treatment options is misleading or false. To better understand the condition of your loved one, you can:
Find information about your partner's diagnosis from a trusted source of information.
Learn more about treatment, including psychological counseling and medication.
Learn more about the disease from relevant mental health organizations.
Understand the symptoms of mental illness.
Manifestations of mental illness
Depending on the age of the individual, the symptoms of mental illness will also vary. The following includes some of the signs and manifestations that may occur with mental illness:
Changes in appetite and/or sleep patterns
Experience extreme mood swings
Persistent mild depression and/or major depressive episodes
Moods of irritability, sadness, anxiety, anger, and/or restlessness are enhanced
Express thoughts related to self-harm or harm to others
Hallucinations and/or delusions
Increased unhealthy coping patterns (drug and alcohol abuse, or other dangerous or addictive behaviors)
There are unusual emotional outbursts
No longer interested in and engaged in the performance of activities that were once interested
03
Provide support
For some people, when they first know they are sick, they may feel embarrassed or even terrible. However, there are also some people who feel that the diagnosis means that the symptoms they have experienced have been confirmed (validation).
Because of the uncertainty of mental illness itself, and the phenomenon that mental illness is stigmatized in society, people who get sick will worry about whether you will look at them differently. Whether it's your partner, children, or friends who are diagnosed, there are many ways to show support for them.
But remember to respect their privacy. Maybe you'll be curious about how his counseling is going, but the other person may not want to talk about this, or just want to talk to you for a part.
Image source: Healing the Wounds of the Heart
Remember to do this without putting yourself in a potential emotional or physical danger, and call the emergency services hotline if they are at risk of self-harm or harm.
If your partner is sick, you can...
Start by letting your partner know that you will be there for them, with and in love with them. You can express your support for him by listening to his feelings and acknowledging his emotions. You can also listen to his true thoughts and ask him what you can do to help him.
When dealing with your partner's mental illness, you also need to have a place to rely on. Remember to create a supportive environment for yourself that can include friends, family, or supportive communities you trust.
Also, recognize positive changes made by your partner in a timely manner. Let him know that you are grateful that he is trying to take care of himself.
If the child is sick, you can...
If the sick person is your child, listen carefully to him when he talks about his symptoms. While you may not be able to fully empathize, the most important thing is for him to know that you believe in him.
Don't force yourself to solve everything, communicate with your child and doctor so you can figure out a solution together. If you have other children, you can involve them in the conversation and find solutions together.
Image source: Mindcatcher
If a friend is sick, you can...
When a close friend suffers from a mental illness, you may notice a change in him. They may refuse to socialize and so on. You can ask him what you can do for him. If necessary, you can also ask if you need to help him contact mental health services.
If it's your roommate who is sick and you're not as close, you can still choose to provide some basic support. But in any case, remember that while respecting each other's boundaries, you also need to respect your own boundaries. If you feel insecure, don't continue to interfere.
04
Don't be their "counselor"
In addition to learning to support your loved one, remember that it's not your responsibility not to be his counselor. Even if you have professional mental health training, this is not appropriate, and becoming his counselor will make there is an unhealthy power dynamic in the relationship, which cannot be a long-term solution.
Set boundaries
In the process of restoring your partner, child, or friend, you need to provide them with love, support, and empathy, give them the opportunity to feel supported, give him the strength to take care of himself, and let him know that someone puts his health first and that he is responsible for managing his condition in a mental illness.
You should avoid behaviors that could lead to unhealthy relationships, allow him to take responsibility for his own treatment plan, and at the same time, provide him with appropriate support.
05
Learn to take care of yourself
When caring for the mental state of a loved one, also pay attention to signs of burnout or tiredness of the caregiver. Experiencing burnout can affect not only your own health, but also your relationships with loved ones.
Image source: "Alone at the Beach"
Signs of burnout include:
Feeling overwhelmed or exhausted
Experienced increased stress, anxiety symptoms, and depressive symptoms
Changes in appetite and sleep are found
Become more irritable
Feelings of helplessness
If you show signs of burnout, take care of your physical and mental health and take a break.
Therefore, self-care is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships, especially when someone around you is diagnosed with a mental illness. Here are some ways you can try self-care:
Develop good sleep habits
Make sure you have regular exercise
Nourish your body
Get along with friends and loved ones you trust
Engage in an activity or hobby that you like
Record your thoughts and feelings
Practice mindfulness meditation
Maintain connectivity to the body through progressive muscle relaxation, especially when stress is high
06
Ask for help
When caring for others makes you feel tired or stressed, you can try counseling, which can provide a new perspective and guidance to help you deal with your thoughts and feelings in a healthy way, and can also help you improve your communication skills and ability to deal with problems.
Living with someone with a mental illness, you may experience a different range of emotions than usual, such as depression, anger, and sadness. During this time, seeking individual counseling, partner counseling, or family counseling that can help you build up your relationships can be of great help.
For example, through partner counseling, each other's emotions can be fully expressed. Both people can learn how to build modest expectations and set healthy boundaries. Partner counseling can also help prevent you from getting into an unhealthy intimate relationship with your partner. Even if your partner isn't ready to go to counseling with you, by going to counseling on your own, you may find it helpful to find yourself a safe, supportive, and uncritical place.
If your child has mental health issues, you may want to consider family counseling. Family counseling can help you deal with the impact of your child's mental illness on the entire family. You can also learn the best ways to help your child get through the disease.
If you have already started partner counseling or family counseling, you can also consider seeking help through individual counseling during this time. The process of counseling can help you process your emotions and allow you to appear in front of your loved ones in a healthy guise.
Finally, I hope that while supporting others, you can also not forget to care for yourself.
If you want to practice self-care with professional help, but don't know what kind of psychological help to seek, then our "psychological assessment" service is a good choice.
Our Psychological Assessment can support you with:
1. The international standard psychometric scale system and 1v1 in-depth interviews help you explore your mental state efficiently;
2. In a warm and safe environment, help you understand what kind of mental health services are needed;
3. A professional case manager will match the appropriate mental health plan for you;
4. Mental health support for more than 3 months, during which time you can communicate with the assessment consultant if you are confused about psychological services;
5. Help you be more clear about which issues are the most noteworthy, what their possible causes are, and, if you need to seek the help of a counselor, what kind of counselor is best for you.
The data shows that after the "psychological assessment" into the psychological counseling, the consultation matching degree is effectively increased by 5 times.