I only had my first child at the age of 35, and before that, my mother's birth Dafa was already in full swing.
For example, when she is halfway through eating, she will sigh "if more than one person eats together"; when going out shopping, she will suddenly go straight to the mother and baby shop and pick up small clothes to rub carefully.
After attending classmate dinners and colleagues' gatherings, I had to resentfully count every time I came back — who showed her a picture of her grandson, who showed her a video of her granddaughter, who bought her a fun toy for her granddaughter.
I tried to guide, "There are always people in your co-workers and classmates who don't have grandchildren or grandchildren, right?" My mother looked sad and said, "No, I am the last." ”
I thought that the birth was a phenomenon unique to China, but later I found some papers on marriage promotion in the United States, one of which was "The Impact of Parents' Pressure to Hold Their Grandchildren on Young People Entering Marriage and Cohabitation.".
The study concluded that mothers, if they aspire to grandchildren, have a "huge, independent, significant impact" on their children's marriage or cohabitation.
There is also an article, "Intergenerational Influences on Parenthood: How Mothers' Preferences Affect Children's Family and Non-Family Behavior," which concludes that the more mothers recognize "early marriage, extended family, lowly educated, full-time mothers," the more likely their children are to marry and have babies early.
Image source: Panorama Vision
Why should parents give birth? The reasons can be complex:
First of all, the younger generation will feel that the "parenting biological clock" in the body is ticking, and the older generation also has the "grandparent biological clock" in the countdown, and the latter feels that every day they are closer to death, and they feel that their hope of holding their grandchildren is a little less.
Secondly, grandchildren can bring a lot of benefits - some parents have nothing to do, hoping that their grandchildren will make their lives full and meaningful; some parents think that their grandchildren can ensure their children's old age; some parents really love their children and hope to experience the joy of raising children again; at the same time, raising children can also recycle the red envelopes given over the years.
Third, grandchildren come with a "sense of inheritance". In the online joke "Does your family have a throne to inherit?" parents often hope that their bloodline, surname, hard-earned family wealth or property will be inherited.
Even in a family like me, which has only a small house, my mother will lie on the sofa, look at the ceiling and sigh: "You say you don't have a child, who will this house be left to in the future?" ”
I advised my mother: "Let's not think so, the world is often unexpected, such as a sudden earthquake that shook the house down, and you will feel that it is too stupid to worry about who left this house for in the first place..." My mother said: "What about the feather dusters?" What about my ancestral feather duster? ”
After my daughter was born, my mother threw herself at her, smiling every day, not even sweeping me, too lazy to pay attention to me.
Sometimes I wonder if when chirping grows up, I'll start to give birth to it on the grounds of "I hope you feel the joy I had with you."
But I read another article that suggested that parents who want to be induced should divert their attention, such as going out for more walks or running — so maybe I'll be an old marathon runner by then, who knows?
Author: You Zhiyou. Source: Reader Magazine, Issue 2, 2019.