You long for him to care about you, warm and considerate to you, but he does not respond to you, does not invest, does not act, is very indifferent, always ignores your feelings, shields your needs, does not have any care and love for you, and you are particularly helpless and miserable.
Although this indifference does not cause physical harm, it is like an invisible knife, which is pierced into your chest and traumatized.
Cold violence is an act of always being unclear, not responding, not rejecting, not accepting, and forcibly blocking all intimate relationships. Including indifference in the category of domestic violence is enough to show how lethal it is to feelings.
From a professional point of view, people who are accustomed to using cold violence often have 4 characteristics:
First, self-centered and extremely selfish.
You feel that as a husband, he should accommodate you and compromise with you; but the logic of his thinking from childhood is self-interest, self-centered, which has become stereotyped. After entering the marriage, he only cares about his own feelings in everything he does, does not consider your feelings at all, as long as he does not want to talk, he does not say, and he does not listen to what you say, because he feels that your feelings are secondary.
Second, there is no concept of "responsibility" at all.
He felt that "good marriage" is naturally good and does not need to be maintained. Such a person, who has no sense of responsibility for marriage, naturally will not consider your feelings. You haven't slept all night, and he still sleeps soundly; you don't want to think about tea, he thinks you're doing it. Even, when something goes wrong with his feelings, he will feel that it is all to blame you and punish you with cold violence.
Third, there is no empathy at all.
Empathy is a form of empathy. For example, when he sees that you are uncomfortable, he will also feel uncomfortable, he can feel your negative emotions and make changes to make you uncomfortable. And the man who will not empathize, seeing that you are crying, he will want you to cry, how big a thing I play the game, or you cry yours, he does not say a word of comfort, direct cold violence, people are particularly cold.
Fourth, it is customary to express dissatisfaction with silence.
Many people don't talk when they're unhappy because they're afraid of conflict and communication can turn into quarrels. Therefore, they will express their dissatisfaction in a silent way and refuse to communicate with you. Your atmosphere will become extremely oppressive, and you can feel the air between you being frozen.
Cold violence is not addressed in a timely manner, and it will be positively reinforced.
When you are coldly violent by him, your behavior and emotions will be dominated by him and become very uncomfortable, you either compromise with him, take the initiative to bow your head to communicate, he will feel that he has won you with cold violence, and after tasting the benefits once, he will continue to be cold and violent to you next time.
Gradually, a fixed pattern of getting along will be formed, and people who are coldly violent will feel very painful, extremely helpless, and do not know what to do.
The cold violence of some partners is not because he does not love you, but because there is a wrong communication and relationship mode between you, which leads to quarrels as soon as you communicate, and he chooses silence in order to avoid the expansion of contradictions, which is his way of solving the problem.
Obviously, silence will not make your relationship better, but will accelerate the breakdown. This requires one of you to realize this and take the initiative to break this mode of getting along, establish an effective communication system, break the ice of indifference, and let love flow again.