Once a habit is formed, it is difficult to change, and when you want to give up this habit, it is like losing a love thing with your own hands.
The same is true of love, even if your feelings for a person are due to illusions, because of habits; but when you really plan to leave the other party, you are a little reluctant, after all, the other party has also brought you a "feeling of love".
In gender relations, the "illusion of liking" can easily arise.
Let's say: Chat frequently.
When you chat frequently with the opposite sex and keep chatting frequency every day, it won't be long before you fall in love with this person.
And this kind of like will become deeper and deeper with the deepening of habits.
But then you find that this kind of liking is not as strong as you think.
You know, you can establish habits with each other, and you can establish the same habits with another person.
Adult feelings, like is like, love is love, habit is habit.
In any case, don't let yourself be fooled by habit into falling in love with someone.
-01
Chat with the same person of the opposite sex every day and you'll fall in love with this person
There is an interesting experiment in psychology to verify the relationship between habits and likes.
I like to call it a "goodwill test."
A group of boys and a group of girls, through random matching, randomly select a member of the opposite sex and then give them a week.d'd be.
During the week, let these people chat with each other and talk about any topic.
After a week, ask these people to fill out a questionnaire: how they feel about the opposite sex, and whether they like each other.
It turned out that most of the people involved in the experiment liked each other; the rest of the people were able to maintain a very familiar state with each other.
Next, these people are randomly matched, completely disrupting the last person drawn, and the time is set for a week again.
Same frequency of chat, same way.
It turned out that they liked the "partner of the week" again.
The results of this experiment show that:
Maintaining a frequent and stable frequency, chatting with the same person of the opposite sex, it is easy for a person to have the "illusion of liking".
In reality, many people like it because of "habits".
Think about it, every night in the middle of the night, you talk to each other.
Talk about work, talk about life, talk about ideals, talk about hobbies, talk about your emotions.
Over time, the other party seems to become your "dependence".
You have developed a sense of trust and belief that the other person is a reliable person.
But yeah, once you break into someone in your life who's "attractive" enough to you, you'll empathize.
Habit is not like.
If you don't believe it, you will chat with another person of the opposite sex on the same frequency and will also like each other.
-02
Develop habits for a person and possess these characteristics
First: already involved in each other's lives
The relationship between the two of you has changed from a friend relationship at the beginning to a friendship relationship that can often date, eat and chat.
Moreover, what troubles the other person encounters in life will often think of you.
The feelings between you seem to be very harmonious, and they are not alarming to get along, there is no wind or rain, and they are as plain as a long stream.
However, you always feel in your heart that you two seem to be missing something.
That feeling is probably: above friendship, below lovers.
Second: you can share and spit without any worries
In front of each other, you both feel very relaxed.
When chatting, I am open-mouthed and willing to talk to each other no matter what I do.
Even the ugly, sad, vulnerable side of yourself is not hidden.
Sometimes, you will complain to each other, expose each other, and belittle each other.
It's a habit, not a love.
Falling in love with someone is restraint and reservation; when communicating, know what can be said and what cannot be said.
The relationship between good friends can be without any worries.
The relationship between you is more "superficial" than internal.
Even if the other party changes a style today and puts on exquisite makeup, there is nothing special in your eyes.
No attraction, no passion, just intimacy and habit.
-03
Habits change, but love doesn't
There is a line in "Chongqing Forest" that says:
"Knowing a person is nothing, because people change. Today he likes canned pineapples, tomorrow he may like something else. ”
It's like we've developed a habit in our lives: the habit of reading at night, the habit of watching a movie before going to bed.
But this habit, you can change at any time.
Later, you like to read a book in the morning, watch a movie at noon, and go to bed early in the evening.
People who like because of habits will one day like another person because of habits.
Such likes, no sense of security, no motivation to continue.
And what is love?
Psychologists have proposed three elements of love: passion, intimacy, and commitment.
Among the elements that make up love, one is indispensable.
Only by maintaining enough attraction can passion be generated; after falling in love, there can be intimacy; and maintaining a state of intimacy can give the other party enough commitment.
Interlocking, the love is endless.
Today's Topic:
Will you like someone because of "habits"?