He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Starting a relationship often goes through two states: love at first sight and long-term love.
Love at first sight is a kind of romance, is brave, is decisive, is the moment two sensual people meet each other, it is privately fixed for life.
And what about long-term love?
Day-to-day love, in fact, is the habit of day after day, after a long period of understanding, finally choose a more suitable candidate.
Relatively speaking, long-term love is to "seek benefits and avoid harms", create maximum benefits for feelings, and ensure that future marriages can be stable and smooth.
Love at first sight is the resonance and attraction of two people's souls, just one contact, it must be each other.
We can't say which emotional state is more reliable, but in reality, most people's feelings are "long-term love".
For example, when you chat with the same person of the opposite sex every day, you will unconsciously like each other.
-01
Chat frequently and girls will like a boy
A reader left me a message saying that she was chatting with a boy every day for almost half a month, and she was stuck in it.
But fortunately, the boy took the initiative to confess to her, and she agreed to the relationship without too much hesitation.
The reasons are:
During the time she chatted with the boys, she was in the gap of her feelings, she was very lonely and helpless, and no one in her life could listen to her share.
Therefore, the appearance of the boy is like saving her from the depths of the water.
And, in the course of the chat, she found that there were many similarities between the two people; the books she was reading, the movies she liked, and the places she wanted to go were basically similar.
This made her feel that the two people had the same view.
So, she eventually accepted the boy, even though the two had only been talking for half a month.
This is not an isolated case.
In many cases of emotional counseling, everyone will say that they will like each other because of frequent chats.
Why?
First: like = time + habit
It's a love formula.
It's actually easy to like someone, and it's not that hard to get someone to like you.
When you talk to a girl frequently, she will unconsciously immerse herself in this habit.
When you show up, she's more resistant; as the two of you spend chatting, her wariness of you decreases.
Then, she gets used to chatting with you, and she's used to sharing her life, her work, and her positive or negative emotions with you every day.
The act of frequent chatting makes her subconscious form a habit; and the time of chatting is the main factor in her liking you.
If, in the course of a conversation, the girl finds you humorous, funny, and a good listener; and the two of you are similar in many ways.
At this moment, the girl's good feelings for you will be deeper.
Second: "Exposure Effect"
It's a psychological statement, and it's interesting.
Meaning: subconsciously, people will prefer people and things that they are familiar with.
Studies have found that the more we come into contact with someone, the more we feel close to that person and gradually become unguarded about this person.
If it is contact between the opposite sex, it is easy to feel good about each other.
There are two important factors for the exposure effect: proximity and repeatability.
The closer you two get together, and the more frequently you spend time together, the higher the chance of generating a good feeling.
Like what:
When you first meet, the impression you give each other is 60 points; the second time you meet, it becomes 70 points; the third meeting, the other party is dressed up very delicately, and it becomes 80 points in your eyes.
Favorability also increases as the number of meetings increases.
Third: Girls who are lonely inside are more likely to like you in chat
There is a "dark effect" in psychology, which refers to:
In a dim environment, people's hearts will be softer and more fragile, and once someone breaks into their feelings at this time, they will leave unforgettable memories in his heart.
In simple terms:
When you talk to a girl and always choose the night, then she is more likely to have a good feeling for you.
Because when the night is quiet, it is the moment when a person's heart is the loneliest, the mood swing is the greatest, and it is also the most prone to wild thoughts.
Therefore, if you greet the girl at this time, help her to relieve loneliness and comfort her anxious emotions.
Over time, she will treat you as an emotional sustenance and dependence.
-02
"Long-term love" is actually a choice after weighing the pros and cons
Chat with the opposite sex frequently and the other person will like you.
It's a long-term affair.
But in reality, most of the long-term love affair is just the "best choice" made after comparing some people around them.
Maybe you're not the best, not the best, but the most appropriate for him.
For example:
Subconsciously, you think you deserve someone with a score of 6 or more; someone below a score of 6 is not within your criteria for choosing a mate at all.
However, every time you meet someone with a score of 7-8-9.
Even though you like it, they make you feel stressed and you don't think you have enough confidence to engage with them.
Only when a candidate with 6 points appears, you can accept it with peace of mind.
Maybe this is not the best person in your heart, you also want a partner with a high score, but the person with a score of 6 is the best for you.
That's how it is.
The other party did not bring himself too much romance, surprise or heartbeat; but with him, it was more practical and more suitable for marriage.
Frequent chat, day and night, day and night, long-term love is actually a feeling that can be seen and touched.
You can grasp it in your hands and you can grasp the rhythm of this feeling.
Today's Topic:
Will you like each other because of "chatting every day"?
(Article with picture source network)