Sometimes parents find that their children like to hit people, what is going on? Today, we will take you to analyze the causes and teach parents how to solve them.
If your child has not yet entered kindergarten, then the reasons why your child hit someone are generally as follows:
1. The needs are not met, and the language expression ability is lacking
When the baby's needs are not met, such as hungry, thirsty, tired or need to be accompanied by parents and mothers, and his language expression ability is limited, and he cannot establish effective communication with parents, it is easy to cry and hit people.
Expert advice: Guide your baby to express his emotions correctly
If the baby hits the mother because she is angry, the mother should not be angry, do not fight back, but should crouch down and give the baby a hug. Tell him, "Mom knows you're angry, but it's not right to hit someone angry." What do you want? Tell your mother well. In this way, the baby will slowly control his behavior.
2. Attract the attention of parents
After the baby is 1 year old, self-awareness begins to sprout, and he always wants others to pay attention to him, especially mom and dad. When he finds himself snubbed by his parents, he will have uneasy emotions, so he will attract the attention of his parents by hitting people.
Expert advice: accompany your baby with high quality
1-2 years old is an important period for the stable development of the baby's sense of security, parents must accompany the baby with their hearts, so that the baby feels that he is always concerned by the father and mother, so as to better establish a sense of security.
3, the baby does not know to use language to say hello
Some babies don't know how to say hello to each other when they see children. Therefore, the most direct way is to use: hit the other party. Babies don't want to "fight", they actually want the other party to play with themselves.
Expert advice: usually teach the baby a variety of expressions
Babies over 1 year old have no right or wrong, and they don't know what their actions mean. Therefore, the mother usually teaches the baby a variety of expressions, such as shaking hands to welcome the child when seeing the child; waving when saying goodbye to the child. In this way, the baby knows how to greet the other party when he sees the child, rather than directly reaching out and hitting the person.
4. Imitate the beating behavior of parents
Some parents always fight in front of the baby, you hit me, I beat you, whether it is a good feeling, flirting, or emotional discord, really fight, the baby will imitate indiscriminately, naturally learn to beat people. Some parents even think that it is fun for babies to hit people, and also teach babies to hit people.
Expert advice: create a harmonious family atmosphere
Parents must not play in front of the baby, even if angry, do not hit the baby, let alone teach the baby to beat people, but strive to create a harmonious family atmosphere for the baby. This atmosphere is a fertile soil for the healthy growth of the baby, and with this fertile soil, the baby can naturally grow up healthily.
Young children are still in the stage of exploring the world with their mouths and hands, and his beatings and bites are not necessarily the beatings and bites you understand.
When the baby is older, usually after the 2-year-old baby still has the situation of casually beating people, parents need to understand why the child wants to do it, but also to find problems from their own education, to understand when the baby began this behavior.
If the baby has such behavior, is it affected by the bad behavior of the parents? Parents are the mirrors of the baby, and the baby is in many cases imitating the words and deeds of adults. The reason why babies make mistakes is that there is a problem with our education methods, which require parents to reflect on themselves. When the child hits the first shot, the parent immediately stops the child and does not let him continue to shoot. When the baby's mood is almost restored, parents need to communicate and let the child know the consequences of hitting someone.
Parents pay a little more love and patience, use appropriate educational methods, make a good example for their children, and create a good environment for their children, and they will certainly be able to make their children grow up healthily. Because as long as the baby is properly educated and guided, it is able to form correct behavior habits and good character.
For children who have gone to kindergarten, if the child loves to beat people, it is generally caused by the following 6 psychological reasons, the following is a case study for everyone, and at the same time give parents some small suggestions.
1. Self-centered psychology
Case:
Today Xiaoming in the kindergarten and because of the children to grab toys to beat others, this situation often happens, the mother also taught that you can not beat people but Xiaoming can not change, for this reason the mother always has to apologize to others.
Condition analysis:
Most of the children between the ages of 3 and 6 are in the 'self' stage, have poor communication skills with others, and when they want something or do not want to share their own things with others, they will replace them with physical movements, resulting in aggressive behavior.
Advice for parents:
Parents can teach their children the correct way to communicate with people, using language to replace physical problem solving, such as telling children that they want to play with other people's toys before asking if the child can borrow his toys to play, how long they want to play, willing to use their own toys to play interchangeably, etc.
2. Imitate sexual psychology
A mother said that today on the playground her own children and other people began to play well, but also with other children to play ultraman game of monsters, but I did not pay attention, the child took the toy to reach out and directly hit the face of other children, I criticized him should not hit people, he also told me that he was a monster should fight, which made me angry.
Children have strong imitation ability, and this aggression behavior is mostly seen from cartoons, but children do not know that the content in cartoons is all virtual.
In life, parents should try not to show their children cartoons with violent tendencies, and choose some puzzles and cartoons suitable for children's ages. For example: undersea column, Qiao Hu, Super Flying Man and so on.
3. Emotional psychology
Children are usually very well-behaved at home, but recently after school, I always heard the teacher say that he loves to bully other children, always pointing at other children with his waist crossed, and a timid child is always scared to cry by him.
This situation is not only a problem of the child's communication ability, the appearance of the forked waist pointing at the person is like an adult reprimanding the child, which shows that the child's aggressive behavior is likely to be learned from adults, and not loving to talk at home shows that he usually does not dare to express his opinion in front of adults.
When the child makes a mistake, parents try not to appear loud reprimands and hands-on behavior, the child will inevitably make mistakes correct guidance can make him not make mistakes in the future, violent behavior will only increase the psychological burden on the child, when the child wants to vent this emotion, there will be beating behavior.
4. Cause concern about sexual psychology
Xiao Rui's mother said that his children are more active, and their personality is quite cheerful, but they always play well with other children, and every time they go to someone else's house, there will always be children who complain that he has hit XXX, at first I only felt that other children were too sensitive, but later found that there were often children suing him.
The child always touches other people for no reason to show that he feels that he is not being noticed or that he wants to play with other people, and this kind of child is not very strong in social interaction skills with other people.
Adults usually remember to give more attention to such children and personally demonstrate how to interact with people in daily life, and they can also perform situational performances with children to personally feel the problems of interacting with people and solve problems with the help of adults. Recommend 2 picture books: "Don't Hit People NO HITTING" and "Teeth Are Not Used to Bite People".
5. Tentative psychology
Xinxin's mother said that she has been teaching her children what not to do since she was very young, at first Xinxin was still very obedient, but recently she didn't know what happened to Xinxin, she always likes to contradict me, I don't let him do anything he does, yesterday he actually bit a little friend.
The child itself is not aggressive, but the adult always tells the child these wrong things like a reminder, and the child is curious, so he will definitely try to hit someone.
Adults in front of young children do not mention some negative thoughts, give children more encouragement and support, let children feel that what to do is right, not what can not be done, what is wrong!
1. Pampered psychology
Today to send the children away from the kindergarten, Lan Lan's grandfather because of traffic jams came late, grandpa even apologized to the child that he came early next time, but Lan Lan not only did not appreciate it but also slapped his grandfather twice with his hand bar at the entrance of the kindergarten, when the grandfather couldn't hang on his face and said 'are your parents' and then went back.
Now the children are afraid of falling in the hand, and they are afraid of melting in the mouth, so from a young age, some small tempers love to beat people, and the family feels that the child is not really beaten, and has been conniving at the child's behavior.
This kind of behavior of beating people has never been correct, this is a matter of principle, parents should make clear rules for their children, children now beat people parents regardless of it, then they will go out and beat others to suffer losses, and then it will be too late to discipline, and if they want their children to be good in the future, they should be educated from now on.
Final words
All in all, children like to hit people mainly because their emotional development is still in the transition period, do not know how to correctly express, there will be acts of attacking others, so parents must not reprimand children as "bad children", from their point of view to consider the problem, understand the psychology, correctly guide children, step by step to teach children to hit people is not right.
Share the four steps to educate my children when they hit people:
1, first of all, you must maintain a calm mind
2. Sort out the reasons why the child hits people
3. Describe to the child how painful and sad the child who was beaten is
4, hold the child and tell him that it is wrong to hit someone, and apologize to the beaten child
After reading this article, have parents gained anything? Well, today's content ends here, scientific parenting from now on, more infant parenting dry goods are all in the public number: infant and young child parenting knowledge. What more could you possibly want to know about parenting? Welcome to leave a message in the background of the official account!