This article is original 丨 good mother
I once saw a news that a couple in Sichuan had 11 children in 15 years, and the couple thought that "as long as a child has a job, the whole family can enjoy happiness in the future", but the result is that they dropped out of school, went to prison, and lived a messy life.
After reading the report, netizens have condemned the ignorance of the parents, but many parents in real life are like this. For example, after giving birth to a child, you want to have a second child, afraid that a child is "weak", and having one more child can still help, but can this really be the case?
"Can having a second child help the boss in the future?" The selfish thoughts of parents can ruin a child's life
The sad scene in the hospital ward is worth reflecting:
"Auntie, are you hospitalized here yourself?" What about children? ”
"Oh, don't mention it, the eldest son is far away, and those who are sick and small are not told to him."
"Then you're a child?"
"The second eldest is only 7 years old and in the first grade, and he can't use it."
"Is there so much age difference between your two children?"
"The eldest who married and gave birth at the age of 24, this is not 45 years old and pregnant with the second eldest, the two children are 21 years old."
"It's not easy for an elderly mother, just have two children."
"At that time, I just thought that having a second child would be able to help the eldest in the future, but now I see, I can't afford to raise the second eldest, I have to rely on the boss, and I also add a burden to him, the child doesn't say anything, even finding a daughter-in-law is difficult, and when I hear that there is such a small brother in the family, I am scared away."
The older generation of contraceptive awareness is weak, five or six, seven or eight children in the family are normal, with the popularization of scientific parenting, the number of children born in the family is getting smaller and smaller, many families are one-child families, but the elderly often can not accept.
Especially after the three-child policy was liberalized, it aroused the idea of wanting parents of second- and third-child children, and even some elderly women are looking forward to "having one", and two children who are related by blood can help each other when they encounter difficulties in the future.
"For the sake of the eldest and the second", this kind of parental thinking is selfish, and it is likely to ruin the lives of two children. For example, the mother in the case, the eldest is the age of marriage and career, but also to raise the younger brother for the parents, both delaying marriage and wasting energy, no car and no house to marry the daughter-in-law; in the future, the second eldest grows up to work, the parents and brothers are old, there is no way to help the child, and the illness and hospitalization also delay the development of the child, and even ruin the child's life.
What family is suitable for having a second child? "Raising" is more difficult than "being born", and without that condition, you can't give birth
The older generation of people say that "raising children to prevent old age", in the future, old and sick, hospitalized, having more children is always good, but ignoring the drawbacks brought by children, such as lack of educational resources, children forced to drop out of school, no money to marry daughters-in-law, etc., these children's growth on the road to "life pass" is crucial, a bad may change the child's life.
Of course, it is not to suggest that couples only have one child, but to remind pregnant couples that raising a child is far more important than being pregnant in October. To educate a filial child, rather than to have 3 children who are not filial, which one will you choose?
What preparations should be made before having a second child?
Educational preparation, children face two major educational problems in the process of growing up, physical and psychological, and need parents to guide them in a timely and appropriate manner.
Financial preparation, a can of milk powder on the market is less than two or three hundred, there is no certain economic ability, can not afford the second child.
Accompanying preparation, the child's growth process needs the companionship of parents, and parents should play a good role as "guides".
Pay preparation, do not always think about having children for the elderly, children are first of all independent individuals, and the payment of guardians is a must.
Pension preparation, two or three children, the future of the child will become a family, parents can not be too selfish, first consider their own pension problems to reduce the pressure for their children.
Finally, the second child is not an "auxiliary" to a child, nor should it be a "crutch" for parents, and each child has his own life. If parents in order to help the eldest have a second child, perhaps not to reduce the pressure on the boss, but to increase the pressure, treat every child fairly, do not ruin the child's life because of a moment of selfishness.
PS: The pictures in this article are from the Internet, and infringement can be deleted.