In a relationship, because women's way of thinking is emotional, they will be more dependent on one person.
Moreover, love is that after having a person in the heart, they begin to fear loss and begin to suffer from gain and loss, so for various reasons, women will be more clingy to men in love.
The stickiness between emotions is manifested by contacting the other half every day on the mobile phone.
When you encounter something fun, share it with each other for the first time, think of each other, you will send good morning, or what are you doing, or just rack your brains to think of some interesting topics.
They think that this way is love, and men will care more about themselves because of their dependence.
In fact, such clinginess will not play a role in the relationship between the sexes.
Psychological research has shown that men and women get along, silly women only contact each other every day, and smart women like to "break the connection".
Men and women get along, why can't they contact each other every day?
After Qiu Yingying and Director Bai in the TV series "Ode to Joy" determined the relationship between boyfriend and girlfriend, because it was the first time to fall in love, Qiu Yingying threw herself into this relationship.
The first thing Qiu Yingying has to do every day is to take the initiative to say good morning to Director Bai, and then she has been staring at the mobile phone screen, as long as the other party sends a message, Qiu Yingying will immediately return in seconds.
However, with the passage of time, Director Bai's thoughts about Qiu Yingying were not as enthusiastic as they were at the beginning.
He obviously had time, he was obviously not so busy, but he would rather play games than contact Qiu Yingying.
Why?
It is because each of us has a certain threshold for the freshness of a thing, and the degree of interest of people will have a peak concentration.
It's like a quadratic function graph on an axis that starts up over time, and when it reaches a vertex, it starts to go down.
The larger the value of time, the faster it will fall.
In the same way, when women are too active and enthusiastic, then the freshness in the feelings will fade at an accelerated rate, so that men will lose interest in women more quickly.
This is why we do not advocate that women contact men every day in their relationships.
When men and women get along, how do smart women "break the connection"?
Still focused on the TV series "Ode to Joy", only this time the character is Andy.
We can see that when Andy and Bao Yifan get along, they will hardly contact each other every day, and even rarely take the initiative to contact each other.
On weekdays, Andy mainly deals with work matters, and once she is busy, she will be distracted.
When she is not busy, Andy will also talk to Bao Yifan, but she does not stare at the mobile phone all the time waiting for Bao Yifan's news to arrive, and she will not return seconds for the sake of seconds.
When he is not busy, Andy will use more time on himself - learning boxing, fitness, reading extracurricular books, or going out to dinner with good friends, in short, Andy will not spend all his time on Bao Yifan.
With the heart to plant flowers and flowers, unintentional willows to shade, Andy's "cold" way of dealing with it, Andy's "broken connection" did not make their feelings appear, but because of the appropriate indifference, they strengthened each other's feelings.
That's because when we're too enthusiastic, men feel that we as people are particularly easy to get, and too easy to get is usually not cherished.
And when we are not so enthusiastic and appropriately "disconnected", then our feelings will retain enough space because of "disconnection".
Moreover, when we focus more on ourselves, we have a sense of crisis for men, because he is not sure whether we are "solipsistic" or not.
Therefore, when we are cold, men will naturally be enthusiastic.
Even if the most sincere love loses its distance, it will become boring
Marx said: "It seems to me that true love is manifested in the implicit, modest and even shy attitude of the lover towards his idol, and by no means in the casual expression of enthusiasm and premature intimacy." ”
That is to say, love needs a gradual process, too fast, too intimate, will make love lose its original progress bar.
Even relatives need some distance to maintain respect for each other, let alone love?
Sincerity and enthusiasm If you lose your sense of proportion, then love will become boring.
Too much enthusiasm is not conducive to the development of a relationship in a good direction, but it will also produce a lot of unnecessary contradictions because of too close, and cold, can achieve the warmth we want.
Therefore, we need to understand this truth when we are with men.
Don't contact men every day, don't put all your energy on men, but have your own life and don't lose yourself. In this way, we will not lose the initiative in love.