Text/Expedition Girl, Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
The title page of "Understanding a Little Bit of Human Sophistication Every Day" says:
"Whether it is for politics or doing things, it depends on the accumulation of life experience. And what does life experience accumulate into something? Four words are sophisticated. ”
Yes, there are many people who are very capable and work very hard, but they often stop themselves in front of success because they do not understand human feelings, which is a pity.
Human sophistication is reflected in many aspects, and speaking is a very important aspect, as Liu Yong said:
"Some dishes should be fried quickly, some dishes should be simmered slowly; some words should be open to the point, and some words should be seen in the clouds."
Speaking is an art, but also a science, people who understand people's feelings and sophistication can talk, do not understand, often say a lot, but did not say the idea, or because a sentence is inappropriate, caused trouble, this is often better than not saying.
If you can't talk and often get yourself into trouble because of talking, then at least remember this: whether it's someone else's private affair, difficulty, or happiness or not, we'd better keep our mouths shut and avoid trouble coming out of our mouths.
Simply put, it is: don't put your own feet in other people's shoes.
01. Other people's weaknesses, please don't poke through
Ancient Cloud:
"Rumors begin with the mediocre and end with the wise, and those who say that man is right and wrong must be non-man."
People who always talk about the rights and wrongs of others behind others will not only bring harm to others, but also cause a lot of trouble for themselves, especially the weaknesses of others.
The neighbor, Aunt Huang, is particularly gossipy.
The day before yesterday, Aunt Huang suddenly moved away, only because she and Aunt Li had a fight.
Aunt Li's life was more bitter, and the first two children died prematurely and were not saved. In order to have another child, Aunt Li did not suffer less. Later, finally gave birth to a man and a woman and a pair of babies, the whole family is very happy.
Many neighbors were also happy for Aunt Li, and no one mentioned the two children who died prematurely. However, Aunt Huang chewed her tongue behind her back and talked to others about the two children that Aunt Li had lost, and there was much offense between her words.
After these words were heard by Aunt Li, she was very angry, and she took the initiative to find Aunt Huang for questioning, and finally had a big fight with her. Aunt Huang was embarrassed by her face, so she had to move to the city to live with her son and daughter-in-law.
A few years have passed, and I heard that Huang Auntie loves to talk about the problems of other people's weaknesses behind her back, and she still hasn't changed. For this reason, her daughter-in-law often quarreled with her, and her son's family was also disturbed by her.
Talking about other people's private affairs, on the surface, is a pastime after tea and dinner, but in fact it is a knife with a sword in the mouth, hurting people without knowing it.
As the old saying goes:
"If people have shortness, they must not reveal it; if they have selfishness, they must not say it."
No one's life is not easy, the weak ribs are the most vulnerable parts of everyone, you have to expose other people's scars, you have to sprinkle salt on people's wounds, this is very offensive, even if it is relatives, they will avoid you.
We must learn to be considerate of others and leave morality in our mouths, which is the minimum cultivation of a person.
02. Other people's lies, please don't expose
There is a saying that goes like this: "The greatest kindness I have ever felt is to see through the embarrassment of others and not to say it, which is also the art of speaking." ”
Yes, many times, seeing through is because of experience; not saying broken, is because of love.
A netizen shared such a story about himself:
At the age of 36, in the middle age of his life, he was unexpectedly laid off by the company. Under pressure, he did not mention it to his wife.
For 3 months, he commuted to work normally every day, wore a suit and tie, and everything was the same as usual. Every morning I go to a new company to apply for a job, and in the afternoon I sit in a coffee shop and submit my resume.
When he was hungry, he made up for it; the video sent by his wife, he also hung up in a hurry, pretending that he was very busy. He thought that everything was hidden seamlessly, but he did not expect that his wife had already seen all this, and she did not say anything for the sake of her husband's face.
Three months later, he finally found a new job. When he returned home ecstatic, he found that his wife had already silently prepared a meal and whispered to him, "You have worked hard." ”
During this time, he was alone in the pressure, and he did not know the taste of food and taste did not make him cry, and his wife said that this sentence was hard, but it made him cry. This is the silent support of the wife, and it is also the silent contribution of the wife.
When others encounter difficulties and lie to you, not poking through is your best understanding and best love for him.
See a sentence on the Internet:
"When other people's lies or tricks are not hurting you, but to please you, you should not pierce them, otherwise it will hurt others and hurt yourself." 」
Yes, everyone has the darkest moments of life, lying to you, maybe for face, maybe not wanting you to be sad with him. Then give him a little dignity or accept his kindness to you.
Or "Understand a little bit of human sophistication every day" said it well:
"People live face, trees live bark - don't hurt other people's faces if you hurt anything."
Not debunking the lies of others is the greatest defense of the other side, and it is also the most sincere love.
03. The happiness of others, please do not disturb
As the old saying goes:
"Don't worry about yourself, don't worry about yourself, don't speculate."
Listen to other people's words; look at other people's things; respect for other people's lives.
Everyone has their own time to spend, don't always disturb other people's lives.
As Wilde said:
"It's not selfish to live the life you want, it's to ask others to live the way they want."
In the TV series "Ode to Joy", Qu Xiaoxiu is a rich lady, although she does not learn and has no skills, but her double quotient is high. Looking at the problem is always to the point at a glance, and the vision is unusually sharp.
When Qiu Yingying first brought her boyfriend Bai Guan back to meet everyone, Qu Xiaoxiu saw through the true face of the scumbag.
In order not to let Qiu Yingying be deceived, she "risked her life" and stuffed a note with her contact information written on it for General Manager Bai.
As expected, the fish was hooked, and Qiu Yingying's love dream was shattered.
Later, the girls on the 22nd floor, no matter who they are, have a boyfriend, Qu Xiaoxiu will definitely intervene to find out the details of the man, so as not to fool the sisters.
In doing so, Qu Xiaoxiu has to say that there is an element of "righteousness", but is there also a suspicion of showing off his cleverness?
"Understanding a Little Bit of Human Sophistication Every Day" says:
"Really smart people never show off their talents, and only stupid people often show off their knowledge."
Yes, although she can insert knives in both ribs for everyone, in fact, everyone does not like her style of acting, because everyone feels that their private lives have been invaded and disturbed.
You are smart, you have a pair of eyes, but everyone has their own choice, even if this choice is wrong, we only need you to remind, not to be tested by you.
Later, since Qiu Yingying's case became a precedent, everyone was afraid that Qu Xiaoxiu would meddle in her emotional life, and even if she had a partner, she would hide it from her.
Xiaoqu is weird and indeed very pleasing, but she is really annoying about this. In fact, instead of worrying about others, it is better to manage yourself and distinguish your boundaries with others, so that you will not be thankless and make people feel suspicious of you.
Dickens once said:
"The best way to be polite is not to be nosy."
In this world, some people like the sea, and some people like the peaks; some people like the dawn, and some people like the dusk. The world is gorgeous and colorful, everyone has their own life, and there is no perfectly correct standard.
Therefore, don't talk too much, you have to disturb the happiness of others, this is the greatest wisdom and practice of a person.
04. Mei Niang said
I like this sentence in "Understanding a Little Bit of Human Sophistication Every Day":
"Success belongs to those who are silent and stoic."
Yes, keep your mouth shut, don't poke at other people's weaknesses, don't expose their white lies; don't disturb the happiness of others, and you will naturally become a popular person.
As the old saying goes, "The mouther, the portal of the heart." ”
In a person's life, to cultivate the mind, we must first cultivate our mouth: to be careful in words and deeds is wisdom; to have an unobstructed mouth is stupid.
Life is not easy for every middle-aged person. Each of us must face a brutal competition for survival! Because you don't understand human feelings, you may be talented, but you can only live under people for a long time, you may be capable, but you will miss a lot of opportunities, in order not to let such tragedies be staged again and again, it is time for us to open this "understand a little bit of human feelings every day" and learn a little bit of human feelings every day.
-END-