Many parents of two children, they feel that it is simply too difficult to get two children, let them live in peace, time and energy are not enough, accompany one, worried about treating the other badly.
Two children fighting for food, playing, fighting for their mothers, sitting on their mother's left at the same time, and thinking about the bedtime story they choose,
No matter how perfect you are, your two children will be jealous of each other and cannot live in peace all the time, because ah, this is our human survival instinct.
Parental attention and love are the resources that every child depends on for survival, and these resources are limited in themselves, and everyone wants to get more.
But from another point of view, this is not a bad thing, as long as it is handled properly, children have the opportunity to practice how to face jealousy, how to negotiate, how to make concessions, healthy competition and cooperation, which is not experienced by one-child families.
The question is what should parents do with their second child?
First, start with prenatal education.
When the second treasure is in the stomach, it is a good time to lay the foundation for the relationship Ha, for example, when you are doing the B ultrasound, you can take the boss, let him witness the growth of the second brother, let him choose a bedtime story for the second brother, then he can also listen to one more.
Second, a sense of security is a reassuring pill.
Before Chen He's second child was very happy, this news made everyone appreciate it, saying, "Oh, his eldest daughter is fantastic, and the eldest daughter said that now her favorite person is her sister." ”
But you know what? Before there was no second treasure, Chen He often posted his interaction with his daughter, full of love.
In fact, as early as 1982, Doon and Kendrick pointed out in their study that if the first child was able to form a safe attachment to the parents before the arrival of the newborn, and still maintained close contact with the parents after the arrival of the newborn, then they would adapt more easily and more conducively to the relationship between the two children.
Third, there is no need for a bowl of water to be flat.
Many parents, ah, want to put a bowl of water flat, fair to treat each child, in fact, ah, can not be, a bowl of water can never be leveled, even if you divide everything, including yourself are divided equally, the child will still feel that you give another more.
What your child wants is not more, but your unique attention to him.
For the second child, there must be one-on-one companionship time, half an hour of high-quality companionship is enough, insist on a period of time, you will find that the competition between children has become less.
The fourth is the emotional relationship between children.
Some parents, after giving birth to their second son, will send one of their children to their grandmother's house or grandmother's house, and they must not do this. This will make the child who was sent away feel abandoned and deprive the two children of the opportunity to have a relationship.
You can use any opportunity in life to help them establish a relationship, such as avoiding comparing two children, which will aggravate the conflict, guide them to cooperate more, let them play the game of playing daddy together, or imitate the tone of the baby, often write some small notes to the boss, such as having you do, the sister is so happy.
Fourth, do translation instead of refereeing.
When two children fight, don't say who did it first, what you have to do is not a referee, but a translator, to help them express their feelings and needs.
It looks like you're all angry.
Sister, you want to play alone, don't you? Sister, you see your sister playing, and you also want to play with this toy, right? But there is only one toy, and both people want it, what to do?
Fifth, let the boss be the most fulfilled participant, rather than a passive obedient.
When your brother grabs the toy, tell him that his brother can't speak yet, he will just go directly to your toy, how can you help him?
"Oh, you're a good idea, give him something you don't play with. For example, when the second brother just learned to use a spoon, remember to praise the boss, see you use a spoon, and the younger brother also learned. ”
In short, whether two children are competing for or pampering, in fact, it is not a bad thing, the outside world is indispensable to competition, and two children just have the opportunity to practice in the family, as long as we guide properly, this will be their rare growth opportunity.