After being a full-time mother for three years, now that the baby has enrolled in school, he has returned to the workplace, has a new understanding in parenting, kindergarten, family, marriage, emotions, etc., and is still the mother who likes to share, hoping to share more topics that can collide with sparks and dry goods with babies...
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Before the outbreak of the epidemic, when I was gathering with my friends, my friend suddenly said with emotion: "My son's birthday on the third day of the first month of the first month really solved a big problem for me, it was simply too intimate, and I can be nice to my son in the future." ”
The reason why she has such a big feeling is because her baby, like my baby, entered the small nursery class after the age of three, and as a result, the baby was just two weeks old, and there was a baby in the nursery for a birthday, and the parents of the birthday baby prepared various decorations one night in advance, applied for early decoration of the classroom, and were very busy.
Then this mother greeted the mothers in the "mother group" and said, "Tomorrow my little brother has a birthday, please eat cake!" ”
Later, in the videos and pictures of the day sent by the teacher, my friend saw the classroom being renovated and the lively scene of the babies eating cake.
She had the feeling that she was most afraid of trouble, and if she was allowed to hold a birthday party, she was afraid that she would run away.
How do you think about the special birthday party of your baby's classmates?
In fact, this friend's feelings are not strange, and mothers with babies at home have almost all experienced such feelings.
After my baby entered the kindergarten, he also had the same experience, a child in the class had a birthday, the mother paid for it, and the teacher contributed to hold a large birthday party for the baby.
When a mother chatted with me, she said worriedly: "I don't want to do this every baby's birthday, I can't stand it." You don't have to worry, your baby will pick the day. ”
I really don't have this layer of trouble, because my baby was also born in the first month, and every year on the birthday, the new year is still enough.
I comforted this mother and said, "There is no need to follow suit, parents who are willing to be lively will let them do it, and we are so weak that we can forget it." ”
This is actually her heart's words, her family's birthday is the beginning of March, she is at home quietly to the child.
If my baby is also on the birthday of the school day, I will also pretend that nothing happened and quietly celebrate the birthday of the child at home.
We don't have to feel indebted to those parents who have birthdays in kindergarten, some parents like to be lively, and they also have the energy and time to party in order to surprise their children, and the protagonist of this day is the birthday baby.
Other parents certainly don't have to follow suit.
In fact, my personal view is that there is no need to celebrate the child's birthday at school, the child's birthday party can be arranged at home, so that it does not have to cause trouble to others, and it will also bring surprises to the child.
Of course, we can't control others, so only by taking care of ourselves, the answer must be "don't follow suit."
When your child enters school, always remember to "don't follow suit"
After the child enters the kindergarten, parents need to stay sober not only this time, "do not follow" should be the principle we always adhere to.
Do not imitate other parents to give their children a special birthday at school, do not imitate other parents to give gifts to teachers, when all parents can adhere to this principle, the school environment is simply much healthier.
But sometimes parents don't mean it, it's all out of concern for their children.
For a simple example, my baby's mood after entering the kindergarten is relatively normal, without intense crying, it is a smooth passage through the early stage of school.
But in the third week, because the two teachers often went to meetings, and there was a nurseryman who did not understand the psychology of young children to take care of them, the baby became very uneasy, and one day he cried for more than an hour, and when he came home, his eyes were swollen into bells.
I went to the school to understand the situation, and the teachers sincerely apologized, saying that they were going to rehearse the program, did not bring a mobile phone, and the nursery staff had been busy with their work, ignoring the baby and making the baby cry for so long.
After that, the baby becomes easily emotional, refuses to take a lunch break, and has a certain resistance to the school.
Dad gave a suggestion because he was in a hurry: give the teacher some gifts or let them pay more attention.
I immediately refused, and it wasn't a good start.
My baby is in a private kindergarten, the tuition fee is tens of thousands of dollars a year, the responsibility of the kindergarten teacher is to take care of these children, if the care is not good, it is their dereliction of duty, and parents should not feel guilty because the children are not good.
Once there is this beginning, if the teacher himself is very upright and refuses to accept the gift, it will not have a bad impact.
And once the teacher has a little other thought and accepts the gift from the parent, then they will unconsciously become the person who "looks at everything to the gift", and they will become more and more irresponsible.
In recent years, the atmosphere is slightly better, because the strength of the jurisdiction is large, the atmosphere of the previous school is really poor, and the teachers have grasped the weaknesses of parents who care about their children, so that they can "make waves" and pinch the parents to death.
After the child goes to kindergarten, he is calm and frank, and communicates with the teacher more
I am afraid that parents have selfish intentions, and when all parents have selfish intentions, they all privately bribe teachers, and the campus atmosphere is getting worse and worse.
After the child enters the kindergarten, be sure to communicate with the teacher more about the child's situation at school. When a child enters school from home, there will be a large psychological gap and a large gap in behavior.
Because the teacher does not understand the child, and does not know what kind of communication method to use to communicate with the child, in order to gain the trust of the child, so parents should communicate with the teacher more, so that the teacher can quickly understand the child, and it is still helpful for the child to adapt to the campus environment.
In addition, when the child enters the kindergarten, he is relatively small, and he cannot fully express his feelings and true thoughts, and communicate with the teacher more, but also in order to understand the real situation of the child in school, so that he can further communicate with the child and promote the child's rapid adaptation to collective life.
Communication is the beginning of solving all problems, so when encountering problems, do not think of other shortcuts first, but should start with good communication.