Author: The corners of the mouth rise up to entertainment
Education is not indoctrination, but lighting a flame!
In recent years, the root cause of adult psychological problems has been traced back to the original family education, so the problem of family education has attracted more and more attention in society.
Nowadays, more and more parents are beginning to think about the way their children are educated, and how to cultivate a child with moral, intellectual, physical, and aesthetic development.
Although most parents attach importance to their children's education methods, the problem of children's education is still not solved, and the phenomenon of children rebelling and going astray is endless. With the continuous exposure of such bad phenomena on the Internet, the concern about children's family education has reached an unprecedented new height.
Some time ago, a child who had just entered high school came to talk to me, and it was good at first, but as soon as he talked about his family, his emotions became more and more out of control, and finally he cried.
He told me that he was in his own home as if in "hell", their family lived in a backward rural area, since the junior high school accommodation, he and his parents have less and less communication, usually the parents ask the most is their own learning situation, but their academic performance is not very good, in the class is also considered to be medium, once which time to play abnormally, they will be a lot of long-winded, and finally the more they say me, I deliberately tested.
Later, my interest in learning was slowly consumed by them, I couldn't keep up with a lot of knowledge in learning, and now I was just a student in school, returning home on vacation, waiting for not the ardent care of my parents, but the painful scolding.
Most infuriatingly, my mom pried open my cupboard and looked at my diary and other items. Speaking of this, his tears were already flowing involuntarily. One of the words he said most vividly to me was: There is no warmth in the home, so it is better to abandon it. What had he been through to say such desperate words, but what was known was that his parents' homeschooling was problematic.
A failed family education is likely to plague the child's life, the parents are sad, and the child is more desperate.
In general, there are three reasons for the failure of family education: the child is in a mess, the father uses brute force, and the mother drags her legs.
01
The child doesn't work hard
At first, the child is like a blank piece of paper, pure in heart. However, the environment can affect people and shape the formation of personality.
The factors that lead to the child's rot are diverse, of which family education and school education are the two most important parts, what kind of people the child plays with in school, he has a great possibility of becoming what kind of person, just so-called, near Zhu is red, near ink is black. This is one of the reasons why most of the children of elite schools can achieve a lot.
However, the school is large, generally all kinds of people have, then the child's tendency to choose the type of dating is mostly from the influence of family education, rebellious children will naturally play with relatively wild children in school, well-behaved and sensible children will naturally play with good students in the eyes of teachers, family education is where they just began to form values, different values, circles will naturally be different.
Now most of the reasons for the children's rot are because of family education, the parents' usual educational methods and methods are inappropriate, so that the children have a rebellious psychology, and then the children will move in the opposite direction as the parents hope, over time, worse and worse, and finally into the abyss and can not extricate themselves, can only mix days, just rot.
02
Mom uses brute force
What is brute force? It is that the methods and methods of educating your children are relatively poor, that is, they are more stupid. Although it is very careful, the effect on the child is not bad, and there may be the opposite effect.
My neighbor's family is like this, she wants to jackie chan too much. She enrolled her son in two or three cram schools, hoping that her children would learn more than other people's children, so that her children's grades would improve.
This is a piece of kindness as a mother, but it is counterproductive, the child's rebellious psychology is getting stronger and stronger, her child's academic performance does not rise but falls, so later she is more intense, every day next to her son to urge him to write homework, as soon as she finishes the housework, she moves a chair to sit next to her son, monitoring her son like a monitor.
Her son did not want to learn in this repressive situation, and always responded to her mother perfunctorily. This reminds me of the analogy: if you want to hold the sand in your hand, you will hold it hard, but the harder you try, the faster the sand in your hand will flow.
03
Dad used force
The child is rotten, the mother uses brute force, and the excellent children of others give invisible pressure, in this case, the third factor that contributes to the failure of family education is promoted: the father uses force.
Although now society educates children by force anyway, it advocates teaching people with reason. But at present, in some families, they are still filial piety under the stick, and the concept of not beating the concept of education children, especially in relatively backward areas, such phenomena abound.
Even if the real scolding is stopped, there will be disguised punishments, such as punishment stations, punishments for copying books, punishments for not eating, etc., these disguised punishments will become one of the causes of child rebellion, the child's heart is fragile, these punishments are likely to leave a shadow in the child's heart, and may drive the child to rot, and eventually walk into the point of no return.
Teach children not to use brute force, to learn to use the right method, using the right method may be more effective with half the effort.
The essence of education is: a tree shakes a tree, a cloud pushes a cloud, and a soul awakens another soul. This is a quote from the philosopher Jaspers in What is Education.
Family education is very important for children, parents should learn to teach their children in a good way, and educate children in a scientific way of education!
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