In recent days, the Winter Olympics have been particularly lively, I don't know if you have seen skiing competitions, extreme sports are really very attractive. In these arenas, we have also seen a lot of excellent teenagers, and many parents are full of expectations to say that my children will not be like these children?
To find some ways to make my own children better from their growth rules, who should we choose? The representative of this is definitely Gu Ailing. Gu Ailing, she is a talented ski girl, many parents expect their children to find a good role model, and then use her personal experience to motivate their children to struggle and progress. But there are also parents who are very anxious, my girlfriend sent me a private message, saying that Gu Ailing's mother is so powerful, can we learn a lot of things that can be copied from it?
I want to talk to you first, that is, other people's children are really other people's children. Her development from the beginning to the later, a series of processes have her unique imprint. The accumulation that comes from generations is not something that we can break through by leaps and bounds in one or two generations. Everyone really doesn't have to worry, and the most important thing is that her gene has been precipitated, and this gene that has been passed down from generation to generation is unique. Conversely, our own children are combined with all our sperm and the best pair of eggs. In that moment, our child must be the best, and we must have faith in him. Even our own children are the best product of all our own physical and psychological conditions, and we must believe that children have unique value. After that, we will not blindly be anxious, want to copy the success of others, or follow the path of others to follow the project chosen by other children.
Skiing or surfing and other kinds of sports, our children should not blindly follow the trend. While such an experience can broaden a child's horizons, he can know that there are other children in the world playing these projects. For example, every little girl's parents like to let her learn to dance and cultivate her body shape and temperament. However, not every little girl can receive such training. Some little girls, she is more lively, she may want to choose more dynamic sports, for example, some little girls, she wants to play football, rather than quietly there to practice dance, practice physical flexibility.
How to observe and judge what children like? Suitable for what? This is the ability that we parents should have. We can't compare ourselves to other people's parents, because the level of education experienced by two people, or the resources accumulated by work experience, are not something we can replicate. Everyone is unique, including parents, so don't compare between parents and don't be anxious. It's not that I don't do enough, it means I won't give so much to my child and not lay a good foundation for her. This is not the case, because most of our parents are within their own capabilities to provide their children with the best conditions for life and learning. So in this regard, our love is 100% the same as Gu Ailing, and there is no difference between this and this. If we are 100% committed emotionally, you are a responsible parenting for your child, so you don't need to be anxious at all.
Parents should not help their children make choices, and when he chooses the project he likes, it is largely due to what kind of experience he has had and how many things he has experienced. For example, he has sports talent, musical talent, all things, all roads lead to Rome, as long as he can play to his real natural and useful part, so that he can do it more easily, he can be very good at this aspect of things, for him is the best choice, we don't want to see how others to copy?
Parents should take their children out more and not stay at home. If there is a family with conditions, be sure to encourage him to go out and bring him into contact with different kinds of people in society. As long as it is within the safe range, things that are suitable for the child can be touched by him. Let him experience something different and sift through them to find out what interests him most. Some parents say that my child only likes to play games, he only likes to play computer games. Then this is not necessarily bad, and in the process, there will definitely be a little conflict, that is, he chooses something that you think is not too good. But have you ever thought about it in reverse? Now that the concept of the metaverse is very hot, what will the future society become in twenty years, maybe this thing he chose will be valuable in the future. You have to lengthen the length of time, can you delve from the surface of the game to the back such as programming, or network architecture, or website management. It is to deepen your role from a simple consumer and experiencer to a provider and producer, which is to rely on the guidance of parents.
Many parents have a lot of headaches, that is, I tell him, he does not listen, he just follows his own thinking. So this state of disobedience has already manifested itself, what is his reason? In fact, the reason is to go back to when he was young, did you personally accompany him to grow up? Give him enough security. In the most helpless and weak early stage of his life, you give him enough love, and he will have a full sense of trust in you. So, at the age of 3 to 6, you make some rules for him, tell him that this thing is something you can't do, this thing is not right, give him a reason, and instill in him the general direction of life. Then after the formation of this stage of 3 to 6 years old, he will have respect and dependence on you. So if you are a person who has been working very busy all year round, has not managed him much since childhood, and when you are a child to the stage of puberty, you suddenly manage him, he will be very rebellious, because he feels that you are not qualified to manage me. Because you didn't take care of me when you were a child, I can't listen to what you say now. That's why we always emphasize that when we are young, we must give him enough care and love, and use time to accompany him. Only in this way can the capital of his education be accumulated, and only then can what you say be useful and effective.
After we've led him to all kinds of fields, how do we choose which category he's suitable for? Which category does he like? In fact, to see if he has talent, the simplest way to judge is to see how long he can focus on doing this thing without the interference of others, and how strong his interest points are. Some children can fight building blocks for an afternoon, and as long as you don't interrupt him, he can always do this. Some kids like to go out and play ball, and he keeps playing basketball or playing sports all the time. That's where the point of focusing on him is? And his physical condition. For example, if this hobby requires a very solid physical condition, if he does not have it, then this road is not far away.
In this very impetuous environment, many times, social media is full of other people's children, and this kind of information will spread very quickly. Twenty years ago, when the Internet was not so developed, what happened to other people's homes, in fact, you don't know, your social range is very narrow. But now the information flows very fast, even on the other side of the ocean, every country finds a genius teenager, a genius girl, you can know it at the first time. This invisibly also creates a source of anxiety, that is, after you know it, you can't ignore it.
But we need to recognize this reality as our own children, and every seed is unique. You have to recognize this realistic value, and what he can do is not necessarily something that others can do. We want him to become a better version of ourselves, and in the process of raising him, we must constantly revise our own ideas. Sometimes I think I'm a little more impatient, I have to stop my temper, sometimes I think I'm blind, we can relax and think about which direction. It's not about staying on the defensive all the time, because this is not life itself. Life itself is not in a tense state all the time, this state is not long-lasting, but a relaxation, such a rhythm can let him grow step by step. He has times when he is under pressure, but there are also times when he needs to relax and rest, so let's not tighten this string too tightly and blindly strengthen his training. When he feels powerless, he is very miserable, and the child is so weak, he is dependent on the family, if the family gives him the greatest pressure all the time, he has no place to stay, he does not have a place to escape, it is very pitiful.
Seeing the success behind Gu Ailing, many parents are reflecting on whether they have done better? Or how can I do better? These are all right to think, but when it comes to action, we still have to consider our own situation and slowly sort out the child's future path. Whatever your family's circumstances? No matter where in the world you are? No matter what your cultural background is? In fact, the most fundamental thing is to encourage children to become a better self, and we ourselves are the best.