Among the factors that affect the lifelong development of children, test scores are not the most important, and what plays a restrictive role is character, character, the happiness of being a person, and it is welcomed and respected, rather than knowledge and learning.
The family road is full of "drivers" who drive without a license. You cannot drive without a driver's license and are fined for violations. However, parents do not need any training, nor do they need a certificate to do their own thing. In fact, being a parent is a hundred times, a thousand times more complicated than driving a car. All aspects of a child, from physiology to psychology to parenting style, from the learning of knowledge to the cultivation of personality, is a university question. But we don't need any training to be parents, we can dictate to our children, and if a country is flooded with "drivers" like this on our soil, the country must be dangerous.
Please respect your child's childhood
Childhood is the most magical stage of life, and you can often hear the saying that the secrets of childhood are far from being discovered. For a long time in our human history, children were not seen as human beings. Do we write about children in our history books? seldom. We are all grand narrative ideas, and children are always absent. After the Renaissance, we began to see children, began to see children as human beings, and began to respect children. Especially with the Children's Charter of the United Nations, we have had to treat the child as a person, as an independent person, with respect for his personality.
In fact, what childhood really means to human beings is not clear to us. For those who do homeschooling, we need to be very deeply aware of a problem: children are still a black box for us. If we really know children, the whole world will be different, and the whole education will be different. There are many wonders, greatnesses, of children that we do not recognize. How do children understand the world, and how is their personality formed? We must humbly admit that these problems are not recognized. Therefore, to a certain extent, due to the lack of awareness of the objects of our education, many educational mistakes have been caused, and many educational methods are unfounded, but have been handed down from generation to generation. Much education is not based on a truly scientific understanding of the child, sometimes because science itself is not yet mature.
We have always advocated giving happiness to children, but what happiness we give to children is to hope that he is unhappy at the moment and achieve future happiness. Isn't it? Eat bitterly, fang is a superior person; the whip is surnamed bamboo, do not beat books and do not read... When we educate our children, there are actually four permutations of happiness and unhappiness: happiness now, happiness in the future; unhappiness now, happiness in the future; happiness now, unhappiness in the future; unhappiness now, unhappiness in the future. Almost all of our teachers and parents choose the second one: unhappy now, happy in the future. Why can't we make our children happy now and happy in the future?
We need to be consciously aware: respect for childhood. With a respect for the child's current life, respect for the child himself as a person, many of our educational methods will naturally change. So to a certain extent, education is a belief, the establishment of some basic ideas. The basic understanding of children, or the correct view of children, is a starting point for our education and the starting point for the education of our entire family.
Helping children find "himself"
I once wrote a small poem called "The Ideal and Ideal Education of Education", in a simple sentence, I hope that all teachers, children and parents can live a truly happy and complete educational life. There are many parents who are too utilitarian in their attitude towards education, and their eyes are only focused on grades and good jobs, and what they cultivate is a one-dimensional person. The qualities that man himself should possess—the love of nature, the concern for society—are greatly neglected. Society, on the other hand, is pluralistic and requires people with different abilities and personalities.
The most important task of family education is to build the Great Wall of Personality. Among the factors that affect lifelong development, scores are not the most important, and what plays a restrictive role is character, character, the happiness of being a person, and it is welcomed and respected by people, rather than knowledge and learning. Little by little influence will lay a solid foundation for the sound development of personality. Paying too much attention to the child's learning and paying little attention to his character is worrying about such educational concepts and methods.
My child also took things from home when he was a child, but we let him know that the punishment for making such a mistake was far better than the failure to learn knowledge on the exam, and let him know that his father and mother did not value scores very much, but attached great importance to morality, making him a humble person.
The formation of behavioral habits is also very important. When my children were young, they lost all day, the ruler they bought today was lost tomorrow, and when they rode to school in the third grade, they often lost their keys and asked us to send them. How to do it! Later we decided: lose the key and run back to get the spare key. In the fourth grade, he carried the car home by himself. How much time and effort does that take! But in exchange for the key, never lose it again. Therefore, parents should pay full attention to the cultivation of morality and habits.
We want to make all children heroes, and the only possibility is to help him and make him himself. Let each child discover himself in school, be able to meet the most beautiful things, be able to find himself, and finally achieve himself. As a parent, you must not ask all children to be the same, and all children should be the same. Helping children build self-confidence and helping children find themselves is the most important thing. Excessive care and care result in many small children. Too much restriction interferes with the release of children's potential.
Parents are the most error-prone teachers
There are two chances in life to really grow up, once to become a father and once to lose a father. Becoming a father begins to take responsibility for the family and take on a heavy burden for the future; after losing your father, the people you rely on are gone, and your burden is heavier. Parents have a very big influence on children, parents do not educate their children, children will become bad, but if parents educate children in the wrong way, children will become worse.
Homeschooling is very important, but parents are also the most error-prone teachers. We often see many parents of first-grade children, and the first words they say to the teacher are "the child will please give it to you", which seems to mean that the child has nothing to do with himself. In fact, no matter where the child is, it is always inseparable from the influence and education of the parents, and even a sentence on the table will be reflected in the child's psychology.
I summarized some of the most common mistakes parents make in homeschooling.
The first is Jackie Chan.
There is nothing wrong with jackie chan, which parent does not? But the problem is the standard. As we all know, every child is unique and different, but our education uses the same standard, that is, the standard of Harvard, the standard of Peking University, and the standard of Tsinghua University, which is actually the standard of score. In fact, this direction is wrong. The child should be himself, and only by becoming himself can he live a happy life and realize his potential. Parents should know what their children like most and what is most suitable, which is the most important thing.
The second is the utilitarianization of wisdom over virtue.
Now our education is a roll of ugliness, as long as the score is good, other things can be manipulated. At home, as long as the child does well in the exam, the reward comes, and even tells the child not to teach his own learning methods to other children, and not to lend his good books to other children. Children gradually become more and more selfish, more and more focused on themselves, and even do not pay attention to their families, how far can such a child go? If education does not focus on the development of human character, such education will certainly not go far.
The third is that parents are not growing up with their children.
Now most parents have no motivation to grow after becoming parents, and many parents feel that they are tired enough to work hard in the workplace, return home to do housework, and have no energy to grow with their children, which just makes their children unable to grow. Good parents should not regard educating their children as a boring responsibility and obligation, but as a kind of fun and enjoyment of their own lives. Only those who enjoy education can interpret the excitement of education. For parents, to enter the "mysterious palace" of childhood, they must become a child to some extent. Only then will children not see their parents as if they were the ones who stumbled through the door of their fairytale world.
【Copyright Note】The source network of the article, the copyright belongs to the original author; we respect the original, if it involves copyright issues, please contact us to deal with it.