During the 30 days of winter vacation, I called my daughter 20 times a day, and these things really can't be learned in school
"Mom, what else do you want me to do?"
During the 30-day holiday, my daughter would ask this question every day
The reason is that since the holidays, I have been calling her, letting her wash dishes and cook, letting her wash dishes and mop the floor
As for receiving guests and greeting the etiquette of sending them off, I also asked her to do all of them
As a result, the daughter did not understand
Once also said
"Other people's children are little princesses and little princes at home, why am I a little maid?"
Even questioned that she was not biological
In the face of my daughter's protests, I had to tell her in a serious tone
In fact, your mother calls you so much, all for your own good, because
01
When I was a child, I didn't do things, and it was difficult to stand on my own when I grew up
Remember aunt Lee downstairs from us
Aunt Li, who is fifty years old this year, has only one child, so since the birth of her son, they can be said to be very spoiled for children
Not only is everything in life arranged thoughtfully for his son
And it is better to suffer and suffer by yourself, than to let the child suffer a little and bear a little responsibility
Even until the child goes to high school, he is reluctant to let the child wash the socks
Every Sunday, the child would take back the dirty clothes and socks he had saved from school and ask his mother to wash them for him
In this way, Aunt Li's son took the college entrance examination twice and did not pass the examination
In the end, it was Aunt Li who paid for a place
Who knew that in college, this boy was still just as unenterprising and hadn't had a girlfriend for four years
It was just fooling around with my classmates and didn't learn anything in the end
After graduation, he soon became a nibbler at home
A few days ago, during the Spring Festival, Aunt Li cleaned the house alone
As a result, he accidentally fell down, and only his son was at home at the time, and Aunt Li called him to help him help himself
Unexpectedly, my son only cared about playing games and ignored her
When her wife came back and took her to the hospital, her left leg had been broken
But the son did not care, even when his wife asked him to spend more time with Aunt Li during the day
The son actually asked to say
"Is that necessary to give me a nursing fee, I only need ten thousand is enough"
In a word, Aunt Li, who is more than fifty years old, burst into tears in an instant, this is her son who was raised like a treasure, it is better to keep a dog!
Children like Aunt Li's son are actually not in the minority
Somewhere in Hunan, there is a family with a 52-year-old daughter
This woman named Xiong Li has been pampered by her parents since she was a child, and as the elder of the family, it can be said that she has been pampered a lot
It is also because of this that Xiong Li has not liked to suffer since she was a child
I only went to junior high school, but I dropped out of school because I felt hard
After only a few months of part-time work, I gave up because I felt too tired
What's even more frightening is that even after three marriages, she is still indifferent, just waiting for others to continue to spoil her
Every day is not playing mobile phones or games, not only housework can not be done, even their own life can not take care of
Xiong Li, 52, still lives with her 94-year-old mother
Unfortunately, her mother could no longer take care of her because of her old age and frailty
And Xiong Li has completely lost her ability to take care of herself because she is out of touch with society for many years
As a parent, it is not terrible to call a child
The unbridled pampering of the child is the real harm to the child
Small children are like newborn eagles, and if their parents blindly put them under their knees, they will only break their wings
Let them lose the ability to fly, and finally fall into the abyss
Remember, if you don't let your child do things when you are young, it will be difficult for your child to stand on his own when he grows up
02
Too active learning performance, doomed to high scores and low energy
As a person who has come over, the reason why I called my daughter is not because of my fierce heart
Rather, I know very well that if one does not know how to face the hardships of life, he does not master some skills in life
Then even if she studies well, she will be easily defeated by society in the future
I saw such an example online before
A girl is the pride of her parents from an early age
She excelled in her studies and was at the top of every exam, so her parents happily told her
"You just have to study well, don't worry about anything else"
For this reason, her parents are responsive to her needs
As long as it is something other than study, she is never allowed to intervene, and even if she has an awkward quarrel with her classmates, her parents will help deal with it
As for the summer camps and classmates associations organized by the school, her parents did not allow her to participate
When others go out to see, she studies at home
In this way, after the college entrance examination, she successfully passed the 985 examination
Yet both in college and after graduation
This girl is overwhelmed by poor life and communication skills
Not only do they not handle the interpersonal relationships around them, but they also often avoid withdrawal in the face of career difficulties in learning
In the end, the whole person fell into depression and inferiority
And tragic cases of high scores and low energy like girls, in fact, there are many more in reality
Yu Fang, a depressed college student who committed suicide, had doubts about himself because he could not do housework
Wen yuan, who was ordered to be suspended by the school, was also because she was pampered from childhood, so she lacked self-care ability, so she hung up many subjects in college
Not to mention Qi Ke, who graduated from Tsinghua University but was unemployed at home because of his life idiots
And Wei Yongkang, who went to college at the age of 13, did a doctorate at the age of 17, and was finally dissuaded by the Chinese Academy of Sciences
These children, without exception, all learn well, but in life, they know nothing, almost idiots
03
I once read such a story in a book
A wealthy Jewish businessman, whose family is rich in money and rich in assets
There are several cars in his name, but every time his son goes to school, the rich businessman will let his son squeeze the bus
Even in the event of wind and rain, the rich businessman would not drive to pick up the children
Once, the rich merchant's son saw a pair of sneakers, but when he went home and asked the rich businessman for money
The rich merchant did not give it to him directly
Instead, they ask their children to wash the dishes every day or do other chores to earn their own money
For many Jewish families, their education of their children is to teach them independence and self-sufficiency from an early age
It is precisely because of this that Jewish children tend to grow up with a creative spirit
They don't eat lazily and sit back and wait for something to get
And the writer Who wrote this story, Salad, was also deeply inspired
In the process of her parenting, she not only learned the "paid rewards" of rich businessmen.
Let the children make money by doing their own business, and also develop a detailed housework duty schedule, requiring the children to be serious and responsible, and effectively organize their own housekeeping and household cleaning
Under the influence of this educational thinking, her three children also learned to be independent, and they were very financial and responsible at a young age
Growing up to be even more outstanding, both sons became billionaires and daughters became diplomats
I have to say that parents should take a long-term view of their children's education
Remember that educating children is not about keeping them obediently with their parents, but about getting them farther and farther away from their parents
Parents should understand that sometimes "calling" is achievement
The more you call on your child, the better your child tends to be
In the future, we will be more adaptable to society
Well, that's it for today, see you next time