In the child's world, he is faced with two mountains, one is a teacher and the other is a parent.
Author: Fuqin + Chestnut
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn) original debut
01
Recently, Xie Na mentioned in the show that once her daughter returned from kindergarten, she sobbed to herself: "I can't cry, I will be thrown into the trash can when I cry."
Hearing this, Xie Na's first reaction was to be stunned and a little angry, and she thought: How can you say such a thing as a teacher? Did something happen to my daughter in kindergarten?
Instead of letting herself guess, she chose to ask the teacher directly.
Only then did I know that it was my daughter who was thinking about her parents in kindergarten and cried.
Crying and crying, after eating again, I threw up.
Then, the teacher took her to the trash can and said, "If you spit it out, spit it out here."
The child's expression is unclear, inadvertently passing on a wrong and terrible message.
Many misunderstandings are caused by inaccurate message delivery.
Even elementary school students have times when their expressions are not clear, not to mention that Xie Na's daughter is only a kindergarten child?
It is unimaginable that if Xie Na blindly guessed the reason for this and caused a gap with the teacher, I don't know how many contradictions would be derived from it.
Many problems, if parents do not communicate with the teacher, it is easy to have two-way misunderstandings, and in this way, the children caught in the middle have become a grinding heart, bearing the pressure of many parties.
We all know that communication between parents and teachers is important.
But when we face the same situation, "how to communicate with the teacher" is an unavoidable problem for parents.
02
In fact, when encountering general problems, it is not difficult to communicate with the teacher.
But if a child is treated unfairly by a teacher, it feels tricky.
In "Little Shede", the roles played by Song Jia and Jiang Xin present two extremes.
There is a plot in which a math teacher at a training institution physically attacks Ziyou.
After learning of this, grandma made a big fuss at the scene, and even Nan Li (played by Song Jia), who has always been entangled, stood on the side of the child and asked the teacher to apologize to the child.
On the other hand, her mother Tian Yulan (played by Jiang Xin), after arriving, was with the mud and could not be solved.
Moreover, Tian Yulan had long known that the math teacher was violent to the child's language, but she did not perceive any problems at all, but blindly only let her son swallow all the grievances.
The helpless Ziyou saw that her mother did not say anything, as if she had lost the last straw of life, and was overwhelmed by disappointment, helplessness and other emotions.
On the other hand, Xia Junshan, the father played by Tong Dawei, does not agree with the educational concept of the teachers of the training institution, and he takes his daughter Huanhuan to discuss with the teacher.
As a result, the teacher felt that Huan Huan's head was not bright, and Xia Junshan, who had always been good-tempered, listened to this sentence, did not fight in one place, clashed with the teacher, and fought.
During the mediation, Xia Junshan felt that the fight could be turned over, but the math teacher had to apologize to Huan Huan.
The love that children need is never mixed with the human sophistication of society.
Love is that you unconditionally tolerate me and support me.
Therefore, later, when the children spoke to their parents at school, Ziyou cried that his mother did not love him, but him with good grades.
Ke Huanhuan said that it was wrong for his father to fight, but in his daughter's eyes, his father was still the best.
Because Huan Huan knows that no matter what happens, her parents will support her!
School is a small society for children.
All the setbacks, challenges, and grievances they encounter here are the only way to grow.
How parents deal with the contradiction between their children and the school is a reference for how children deal with contradictions in life in the future.
Parents standing by their children's side and supporting him are the biggest confidence in their children's life.
03
When a child is treated unfairly by a teacher at school, initially, most children will choose to ask their parents for help.
However, because of the different attitudes of parents and mothers, children will also take different behaviors in the future.
Some children will continue to believe in mom and dad, thinking that mom and dad are their protectors.
And some children have been disappointed and no longer ask for help.
Hao Hao's teacher scolded him for being stupid, and asked his classmates to scold him together, and also asked his classmates not to play with him.
Therefore, classmates often bullied him. Hao Hao was very sad and went home to cry to his parents.
Mom and Dad are professors and kind. They were also sad to hear what happened to their children. However, they do not want to have conflicts with the teacher, and they are worried that communication may be ineffective and even more unfavorable to the child.
On the one hand, they told their son to be as obedient as possible at school and not to cause trouble, and on the other hand, they tutored him more at home and tried to improve his grades.
In this way, the teacher will not dislike him for dragging his feet, and the classmates will not find trouble.
Mom and Dad have also been trying to cooperate with the teacher's requirements.
The child finished elementary school under the scolding of the teacher, became introverted and timid, and his grades were always average.
Because his parents did not dare to uphold justice, he could only bear it silently and continue to be bullied by teachers and classmates.
This kind of cowardice will become the background of his life, more or less affecting his life.
04
The child's request for help from the parents is all the trust that the child pays;
And the way parents deal with it determines whether to consolidate this trust or to crush this intimate trust between parents and children.
Communicate more effectively with teachers in order to defend parent-child trust while solving problems more scientifically and smoothly.
1. Calm the child's emotions and understand the truth of the matter
The first is to soothe the child's emotions.
When children are treated unfairly by teachers, they will have various bad emotions, such as grievances, anger, sadness, and so on.
Parents should calm their emotions in time, let the children calm down, and try to minimize the psychological damage.
Then figure out the real situation and eliminate misunderstandings.
Don't just listen to your child's one-sided words, communicate with the teacher more, and fully understand what happened.
If there is a misunderstanding, eliminate it as soon as possible and do a good job of ideological work for the child.
2. Emotionally support the child and maintain the child
If the teacher is indeed unjust, then parents should firmly understand and support their children emotionally.
When a child cries to you, you have to defend him, show that he is the victim, and understand his emotions.
Instead of saying, "Why does the teacher always criticize you and not criticize others?" How old are you in trouble? Don't mess with it in the future! ”
Parents should keep a clear head, and they can't put the responsibility on the child because he is a teacher, but instead criticize the child with the teacher.
3. Pay action and strive to solve problems
Mom and Dad should not only support their children emotionally, but also put them into action and strive to solve problems.
When the teacher is unfair to the child, it is more necessary for the parents to come forward to communicate with the teacher, rather than swallowing the anger and letting the child bear everything silently.
Of course, it is not to advocate that parents go to conflict with the teacher and speak as tactfully as possible.
Some teachers may simply not be aware of their problems and, after communication, may change the wrong approach.
Of course, it is not excluded that some teachers are malicious, so the parents have a tough attitude, and the teachers do not dare to bully the children at will.
4. Parents and teachers are appropriately out of sync with their children's education
Tell me about my own personal experience. There is a more naughty boy in his family, and over the years, he is often called by the teacher to lecture, or the teacher calls to complain.
If the teacher tells me about his son's various shortcomings in front of his son, I will listen, accept it, and will not refute it, so as to maintain the dignity of the teacher.
But when I get home, I will reassure the child as soon as possible.
In particular, the teacher has severely criticized the child, and I will never follow the criticism when I go home. First reassure him, at this time the child will be particularly moved, but sometimes self-examination.
After a while, he will point out his problems, and then he will generally accept it easily.
If I feel that there is obviously a problem with the teacher, I will communicate with the teacher privately and express my position.
Of course, the general small things will not be ignored. After all, every teacher has his own educational style, try to respect him and cooperate with him.
Because of this practice, my son is already in his third year of high school, and he has always trusted me.
He believed that I would not go to the teacher's side indiscriminately. What happened at school, he was willing to tell me, for better or worse.
Out of sync does not mean that the education of teachers is not cooperative and does not support;
On the contrary, maintaining my own attitude and cherishing the trust of my children while maintaining communication with teachers is the secret of good communication with children along the way.
05
Communicating with teachers to solve children's problems in school does not mean sacrificing children's trust.
Blindly following the teacher's criticism to judge the child is tantamount to pouring all the problems on the child.
Effective communication between parents and teachers is to defend a solid line of protection for children.
Parents are the child's solid backing, parental support and protection, is the biggest confidence in children's growth!
-END-
Parents Research Institute (ID: mama_cn), research on new knowledge of family education for 1-6 years old, is the mother's educational notes, is the father's baby guide, is the child's growth energy station. Please contact the Parents Institute for reproduction. Author: Fuqin + Chestnut.
Editing in this issue: Chestnuts