Whether the child is outstanding or not depends on the mother's personality (it is recommended to collect it permanently!). ）

I don't know if you have paid attention to how many celebrity biographies describe mothers: the mother is gentle, virtuous, and understanding, she always dedicates herself silently to her children without complaint, the mother is strong, kind, and assertive, as if nothing can overwhelm the mother...

Are these words familiar? It is this mother who can raise such a wonderful child. Because children have an instinctive dependence on their mothers at an early age, the mother's personality, language, and behavior affect the child's life. How can we make the child's personality habits not develop in the opposite direction of the mother's personality and inherit the mother's advantages?

The best way is for the mother to restrain herself in front of her child and become a true mother. The mother is in front of the child, not at the negotiating table, do not need to look at the child with criticism, criticism and demand perfection, the mother's aggressive attitude, harsh and harsh language, control of all behavior and self-righteous judgment, the child's self-esteem, self-confidence is far more harmful than the test-taking education.

For the child, from the moment he is born, the child's requirements for the role of mother are almost eternal.

1, before entering the door, forget your unpleasantness

Before entering the house, mom must remind herself: forget all the unpleasant things in the unit, and now begin to assume the role of mother. Children need their mothers to be happy, and never transfer bad emotions that have nothing to do with children onto children, because children are innocent.

2, the child's small honor is very important

When a child excitedly tells his mother that he got a five-pointed star or a small red flower at school today, don't show boredom or disdain, and be sure to praise him as happily as your son. The most appropriate way is to say whether you can let the mother see and share this happiness with him, because this honor is very important for the child.

3. "Ignorant" mothers

When a child comes to ask his mother, "How to pronounce this word" and so on, the mother had better not answer him immediately, and the worst answer is "How do you not even know this word" and so on. Mom had better take a look at it and say, "Oh, I don't know either, let's look up the dictionary together, okay?" After a few times, the mother taught the child to use the dictionary, and at the same time, the child will have a sense of accomplishment after looking up the dictionary and knowing the word, and after many times, he will develop the habit of consulting the information without relying on the mother.

When the child comes to ask the mother a question, the mother must not act as smart and capable as in the unit, pretending to be "ignorant" is a good way to encourage the child to use his brain to think clearly on his own, or the mother can consult books with the child or use the Internet.

Mothers can't say the answers like "bamboo tube pouring beans", while talking and self-satisfied, which is not good for the growth of children, after a few times, children will avoid asking their mother questions and become very inferior.

4 Calm, calm, must be calm

When the child tells the mother that the exam is not good today, the mother must restrain her emotions, absolutely can not be angry or gloomy, the child is nervously observing the mother's face at this time. Therefore, it is best for the mother to show that there is no emotional change, let the child take out the paper, and analyze what is wrong with the child. If the child already understands what is wrong, the mother does not have to dwell on it anymore.

But finally encourage him: you see, you figured out that you can't go wrong with the next exam. If mom feels like she can't control her emotions, she goes to the bathroom to wash her face, look in the mirror, and take a few deep breaths.

5, I used to be a coward

When the child shows timidity before the exam or before doing something more important, the mother must not be dismissive or reprimand him for being timid or acting more nervous than him, which will aggravate the child's psychological pressure and cause the child to be unable to play normally. At this time, the mother had better say to the child very easily, no matter how you do, mom and dad are not as good as you when they are as old as you, don't worry. At this time, the child will have a lot of confidence and confidence in his heart, and he will play better than usual.

If the child wants to participate in important activities the next day, when the mother observes that the child is more nervous, the mother is best to accompany the child to sleep at the bedside of the night, tell him a story before going to bed or read his favorite books with him, relieve his inner pressure, and then leave after the child falls asleep.

6, in the face of failure, we are a little stronger

When the child suffers failure or setbacks, the mother should show strength and never give up, calmly telling the child that failure only represents a moment, does not represent the child's lifelong failure. Don't let the mother act hopeless in the first place when the child does not think it is necessary to give up. The worst thing is to use harsh language to ridicule him, to count the children to nothing, and even to calculate the old accounts together. Children educated by such mothers will be extremely inferior and even give up their own bright future.

7) "You have to... "You should... ”

Mothers should not preemptively express their own views before the child has expressed what she wants to say clearly, whether the child wants to or not, in the tone of "you must..." and "you should..." to order the child to represent the child's point of view with her own point of view, and ask the child to carry it out. Mom must not be synonymous with "authoritarianism". Children who grow up in this situation lack self-determination and lack the ability to judge right and wrong. Mothers and children should have an equal relationship (equality is not unprincipled) and know how to respect each other.

8) The harm comes from those closest to you

Mothers have to control the way they speak in front of their children. The mother knows the child best, so the mother knows best where the child's weakness is, if the mother often points to the child's weakness when she speaks, with sarcasm, criticism or blackmail, or knowing that the child cannot do it and deliberately asking the child to do it, this is undoubtedly the sharpest weapon in the child's sore spot. The child will be hurt inside because the hurt comes from the people closest to him.

9, "short language + silence" > nagging non-stop

Mothers control the number of languages in front of their children. Do not nag, in fact, the most frightening thing for the child is the silence of the mother, so instead of nagging and nagging to the child endlessly, it is better to tell the child in a short language where the mistake he has made or what he should pay attention to, and then, the silence of the mother is definitely more useful than continuing to speak, do not think that the child does not understand, although he pretends to be indifferent, but actually observes whether the mother takes what she says seriously.