With the liberalization of the two-child, three-child policy, many parents have joined the fertility army, among the many birth reasons, there is one reason with the highest rate of appearance, and it is also the most disgusting reason, that is: we have a second child to give the child a companion. But this is also the most offensive reason.
Obviously for the sake of the boss, why is this reason offensive?
1. The boss is not happy about the second child and the third child
Leaving aside the reasons why a child is particularly selfish, children also have their own considerations in their hearts, and some children simply like one person and do not need the company of another person. For them, the childhood period when they most need the company of others has been fully met, so they do not expect the company of another life. Parents should not take it for granted that they like their children and like many people together on their boss.
Another situation is that the child is afraid of the parents' eccentricity. This insecurity also comes from the fact that the child's desire for parents during the need period is not fully satisfied.
As Fu Seoul said, "When a child has 100 cookies in her hand, he doesn't mind sharing; but when he only has two cookies in his hand, why does she have to learn to share?"
Some are still because the parents have not fully consulted the opinion of the boss, some parents feel that this is my child, I gave birth to me, the boss can get benefits for free, why should I ask for his consent? The boss would definitely agree.
Even if you don't agree, it's because you're selfish and you're doing it for the good of your children. This is a mistake in thinking that a decision must be made with the will of all stakeholders and those involved.
In terms of interests, the second and third children will invade the boss's space, use the boss's things and even damage the big child's beloved toys. In terms of emotional implications, all the love of the parents should be divided in half, and even the love they get may be less than that of their younger siblings, and at the same time, they must let their younger siblings "understand things", can not count the mistakes made by their younger siblings, and even get a word of apology.
If they are raised in a harmonious and warm family, and the boss himself is not a character who is not happy to share, then their rejection and dislike of the second child may only come from the parents' own opinions and disrespect for their opinions.
Some relatives who speak unabashedly may also be the cause. When we were young, we were often asked whether we liked my dad or my mom, who would you be with if your mom and dad divorced. There are also many such voices on the issue of the second child: "You have a younger brother, he is more obedient than you, if you don't behave your parents anymore, they won't want you", "Your parents will not love you if they have another child" and so on.
Finally, the child's resistance may be the influence of stereotypes, just like words such as "stepmother" and "mother-in-law", the word "younger brother and sister" always carries a negative color in the mouths of the people around them, and in their minds, "younger brother and sister" is annoying and synonymous with robbing themselves of things.
In view of the above two situations, parents should have a serious and careful discussion with the boss, and be sure to tell the boss that the arrival of younger siblings will indeed have some bad effects on them, but it will also bring no small benefits, and the benefits are more than the disadvantages. Don't just talk about the benefits without mentioning what damage will be caused to the boss. In this way, when the child is born, the eldest will not feel cheated because he is too different from his imagined younger siblings.
2. This is not what parents really think.
We do not deny that some parents do have a second child in order to give the eldest a brother and sister to rely on, but in real life, there are also many parents who have different hearts.
Many families have a second child only because the family values sons over daughters and wants a boy, and a younger brother born for this reason will inevitably cause the sister to be treated differently, making the situation of the boss who was not welcomed under the influence of this concept more embarrassing.
There are also some parents who give birth to two or three children just to pave the way for their own pension. When children perceive the true purpose of their parents, they naturally feel deceived and realize the "hypocrisy" of their parents.
How do parents communicate with Dabao when they have a second child? In addition to the communication mentioned above, these methods are also good
Moms go to the hospital for pregnancy tests and B-ultrasound photos can take the boss with them.
After choosing a hospital, you can take the boss to see, familiarize yourself with the birth environment of your younger siblings, and tell your younger siblings which ward to visit after birth.
Finally, don't promise Dabao that his younger siblings will have no effect on him after birth, because the addition of a new member will definitely bring about change. However, you can tell the boss what the benefits of having a younger sibling are, so that they themselves look forward to the arrival of their younger siblings.