Author | Inspector (total 1427 words, about 4 minutes to read)
With the aging of the population and the significant reduction of the birth rate in recent years, the population structure of the mainland is also slowly undergoing obvious changes.
Due to the long-term one-child policy, the problem of "insufficient relay" for the young generation and the elderly need to be solved urgently, so the two-child policy and the three-child policy have also been introduced to actively respond.
It is in this context that most young people have limited ability to work their own, and the cost of living and raising children is high, so they still have to rely on their parents more. It is difficult for children to really carry the beam, so there is a "hidden form of nibbling on the old".
★ Some children take advantage of the opportunity to accompany their parents and choose to "accompany the elderly"
The older generation often hopes to see their children more, so some children seize this psychology of the elderly and use the slogan of "accompanying the elderly":
● When accompanying them, we constantly make material and economic demands.
The elderly may also know what their children want, but out of love will not stop, so they maintain basic companionship, let the children live in peace and security, blindly pay and support the children, and it is enough for the family to get along harmoniously.
Some children may really love the outside world, and when they want to go out, their families will be very supportive.
When they encounter difficulties and need help, they will look back at their families, and they will open their mouths to say companionship and miss these words, so as to get the support of their parents. This is just a "glamorous skin bag of companionship" and a disguised nibbling on the old, not real filial piety.
★ "Throwing" children to parents is also a kind of "disguised nibbling on the old"
Young people have their own children after settling down, on the pretext that there is no energy for entrepreneurship, business is too busy, and even say that the elderly are too lonely to find something for them to do, so they "throw" the children to the elderly to help them raise, and they live a leisurely life outside.
In addition to calling from time to time to ask about the child's situation, there is no concern for the elderly.
Three or two perfunctory words sent the old man away, and the parents were still happy to blossom in their hearts. If even the cost of raising children has to be paid by the elderly, this is a more obvious and more disgusting nibbling of the elderly.
★ Talking about living together, in fact, it is also constantly "nibbling on the old"
When young people enter the society and have the ability to make money, they do not choose to work independently, but live with their parents.
Accumulating a salary of one of their own, but not paying anything to this family, in fact, this is also a kind of old man's love for the child, under the slogan of companionship.
The elderly usually turn a blind eye, and generally do not count too much. To outsiders, this may seem filial piety, but this kind of invisible nibbling on the old man is essentially not detached from this point.
In the face of children's "accompaniment to the old", the elderly cannot remain indifferent
Parents cannot be so indulgent in their children
The connivance of parents is not good for the growth of children, not only is it not conducive to their independence, but also does not help their life development.
Children will eventually become a family, to pick up the beam to take responsibility, they must learn to be independent, learn to struggle on their own, so for the sake of their children's future, parents should appropriately give their children the space for independent development.
Parents should show them their attitude and bottom line: they can provide appropriate help, but they will not pay attention to everything they ask for help.
Children and parents should have their own independent lives:
On the one hand, there are close ties;
On the other hand, they are independent of each other.
No matter what kind of difficulty it is, we must let the children face the wind and rain by themselves, once they have formed a habitual dependence on their parents in the family, then it is difficult to get rid of the labels of "cowardice", "mother treasure" and "no responsibility".
At the same time, the elderly should also keep a certain amount of savings, so that they can cope with the sudden impact of life, and they can also have the capital to preserve their strength in times of crisis. In case everything is given to the child, when he is in difficulty, the child is not willing to pay and appears helpless.
Spicy Mom Quotes:
Whether it is a child or an elderly person, we must understand that life is our own business, and we cannot always rely on the strength of others to survive the ups and downs. For society, it does not favor any one person.
Therefore, parents should cultivate children's opportunities for independence and autonomy, let them learn to hold up a piece of the sky by themselves, and children should also care more about the elderly and care more. After all, falsehood will not last, and sincerity can make the family more harmonious.
Parents, would you be willing to keep your child by your side?
(Image from the Internet)