There are many aspects to the Path of Mercy. We do not collect debts for our children, nor do we save money for our children, which is the word of mercy. We parents should cultivate our children to be self-reliant and not to be overly concerned about coddling. Generally speaking, we raise our children, let them study, go to society, start a family, and even if they complete the task.
However, now many parents do not know how to be merciful, mostly doting on their children, only using material and money to habitually raise him, will not use spirit to teach him, and will not use their own good conduct to lead their children (mostly because they do not), which eventually leads to their children developing all kinds of vices, eating and doing lazy, spending days and drinking, doing whatever they want, and creating boundless sins. The more you love him, the deeper you hurt him, the more you push your children into hell, and you think you are doing your best.
You give your child a lot of money, is that the way of kindness? It is not necessarily kindness, it is probably harmful. Because wealth is the root cause of trouble, there is no virtue, and if it is not used well, it will cause fire to burn itself.
We as parents must think about it carefully, what can we do to truly benefit our children? We can use money to make meritorious contributions, help the poor and the urgent, cherish the old and pity the poor, repair bridges and roads, sacrifice ourselves to protect the road, build schools, and cherish the old and the young. Parents use money to do these things, and that's called Padre.
Lay the foundation for your children, and the descendants of virtue. This also illustrates the sentence, "Children don't have to care, it's all about virtue." "When you are older, the ghosts and gods all admire you, let alone your children." Wang Shanren once said: "When parents change, children change." Whatever parents become, children become. ”
Now many parents hope that their children will be good, hope that their children will change, and use various ways, some are management, some are noisy, some are scolding, and some are beatings. To expect the good of one's children in these ways is to be the fault of the parents. What's wrong? The fault lies in the special money and property to cultivate, and there is no virtue to cultivate. When a child develops a bad habit, and then you use the attitude of an evil person to manage it, this is not compassion.
We send our children to school, and the teachers love their parents, so we parents should teach our children to respect their teachers. What does a teacher do? Teachers are talented. Parents cultivate virtue, and teachers cultivate talent. Add up, you can have both moral integrity and ability. Guang Peide, without a good teacher to teach, children can not become talents. But without virtue, Degen is not born, and the teacher does not have much effort to teach, and he may not be able to teach well.
There are many parents who hope that their children will have a career, and even pull out seedlings to help them, the pressure on their children is too heavy, the requirements for their children are too strict, and the management is too fierce. In fact, parents do not have to wait, do not have to press, you just need to understand the above truth, to cultivate enough virtue for your children.
Parents have virtue first, teachers have talent, and children can accept them immediately. Therefore, if you want to cultivate your children into the pillars of society, parents must first give their children a mentor. That's the premise, that's the key!
There are also some old people who do not understand the hearts of their children, pick the reasons of their children, and even resent their children, such old people are often prone to heart disease.
Once, when I was lecturing about my illness, a doctor surnamed Yan stood up and asked me, "Good man, my heart aches." I am a doctor, and I have taken a lot of medicines to treat heart pain, but it is still not good. ”
So I asked him, "How many children do you have?"
He said, "Three. ”
I said, "Which one do you dislike the most?"
He said, "Old three." ”
I asked, "Why?"
He said: "The eldest and second eldest are all admitted to college, and this old third is not good at studying." ”
I said, "So you hate him?"
He said, "Yes! I hate him for not being able to read well, and I hate that iron is not steel. ”
I said, "You're wrong. A mother gives birth to nine sons, and nine sons are not one. Can I get into college? I think it's good to take two, and you should be satisfied. Besides, you are also too selfish, there are quotas in college, you send compassion and leave a quota for others. ”
After I said this, he was happy and said, "What you said is really reasonable, which one of them has been admitted?" And then there are other people's children. From now on, I don't hate him anymore. It was strange to say that after about twenty minutes of touching, his heartache was so good.
Later, we often met in Bei'an, and I asked him, "Does your heart still hurt?" He said, "It doesn't hurt, you told me, it never hurts again." I let go of him and didn't worry about him anymore. ”
I said, "That's right, the ancients said, 'Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren' blessings, don't be horses and cattle for their children and grandchildren', willing to give up, give up their hearts, why do they always worry about him?" If you think about it, can you always put another person in your heart? To be attached to love is to be guilty, and to be attached to love is to be harmful. ”
Here, I would like to say two more words. We parents must learn to plant good causes for our children, what is the cause? The heart is the cause. Don't say, "My son is finished, my girl is nothing." "If you really want to plant this cause, he will really be finished, and he will really be nothing." You always have a thought in your heart: My son is good, he will definitely be able to do it. As a result, he can do it.
In the "Record of Words and Deeds", we look at Wang Shanren and say: "I have not read a book, I will definitely let my son study, and let him read the book well, for the benefit of the country and the people." Sure enough, later Wang Guohua (Wang Shanren's son) became a teacher, which is a good reason for Wang Shanren to plant for the children.
The old man has no morality, and the family is in disaster
Children are not filial piety, and there is no blessing
Men have no ambition, and the family is not happy
The woman is not soft and drives away the money