Teach your child with full love

I have always held a positive attitude in teaching children in a timely manner, just like a small sapling to grow into a towering tree, it is inseparable from pruning and reducing leaves, once it is found that the child's behavior is not correct, we must take appropriate methods to teach lessons at the first time. But what lessons do not hurt the child's self-esteem, but also have the best effect of pulling the crooked branches back to the right path? I told myself that I must accumulate theoretical knowledge in this area and master the correct methods of education.

Therefore, during my maternity leave, in addition to taking the child, I made full use of the existing 20 or so parenting books (friends old books gifted, many of which are best-selling parenting books, thank you!). ), as well as the supplementary purchase of 5 books, some of which are said in titles, I believe everyone is already familiar with it - "Capturing Sensitive Periods in Children", "Positive Discipline", "Montessori's Early Education", "Karl?", "Carl? Witt's Education, "A Good Mom Is Better Than a Good Teacher". After a lot of reading, I first learned that the early behavior of infants and young children is dominated by the sensitive period, the younger the child, the less likely it is to deliberately do things that make adults angry, either the sensitive period is at work, or curiosity is at work, at this time, if you limit, the consequences are either poor physical coordination, or a heart that explores the world; secondly, in the treatment of children's unreasonable requirements, we must teach in time, but we must teach with love, do not let the child have the feeling of being abandoned. Don't subconsciously frustrate your child's self-esteem.

How to teach children with love, from the time my daughter was born to the age of one and a half, I can count the number of unreasonable behaviors. After analyzing with our family that "this behavior is not sensitive and it is determined that the crime of unreasonable trouble is established", we gave a timely lesson.

Behavior one: hugging with high standards and strict requirements.

My daughter is almost a year and a half old, and from time to time she will engage in some skin hunger and hugging things, which is normal human feeling. However, her requirements for hugging can be described as high standards and strict requirements: the so-called hugging should stand and hug, not sit down; the so-called standing hug, to walk, can not stand still!

Almost one and a half years old, already twenty pounds, no longer a baby who has not yet reached the full moon, and he is nostalgic for the experience in the mother's body. Twenty pounds, holding and wandering motionless for half an hour, who can bear it? I think it's a bit unreasonable, isn't it not a hug to sit and hold you? Is there a lack of love for you? With the consent of our father and grandmother, we began to teach the lesson of love with this hug before going to bed one night. After a few steps of walking around, I decided to sit down and say to her, "Baby, Mommy is so tired, she can't walk, she has to sit down, sit and hold you to sleep." As a result, my daughter struggled without hesitation, crying loudly, intending that I should stand up and walk around, but I thought that I should sit and persevere, and the child would obey if he saw that he could not be an adult, and this vice could be corrected.

Perhaps without the emergence of a key figure, my lesson would have been immediate. However, at this moment, Grandma couldn't stand it, she couldn't stand the child's crying, came to hold the child, and then went to hug and wander, and walked around for more than half an hour to put the child to sleep. I said to my grandmother, "Mom, you are tired all day, are you not tired of holding and coaxing your child like this at night, I am afraid of exhausting you, I should let her know how to understand, and can no longer make such unreasonable trouble." "Well, you're right, I just can't help it..." My mom said, and at this time the child's father snorted and rolled over to sleep, "Next time you teach again, I'll hide well, don't talk about me anymore." Thus the lesson of the night ended in failure.

My daughter's temper is really stubborn, the next day she woke up in a bad mood, maybe the reason why she cried and fell asleep last night, I actually remember yesterday!! As soon as I woke up, I let me hug, still with high standards and strict requirements, and I decided to teach another lesson. I took the child from my grandmother, who also knowingly hid in the room. Or first reason with the child, the mother is tired and can't move, she has to sit down and hug. The child is really persistent, plus strong and big, in my arms the carp tossing and turning, howling and crying, the whole I can't hold it, but I told myself that I can't let go, letting go of the child's heart is even more devastating, she may think that the mother does not love her. At this time, her father gave her a hard look at her at the right time, and I found that her eyes did not dare to look at her father again. Dad couldn't count on it (the little guy should be disappointed), Grandma also hid, there was no one to call for help, and after a while she didn't toss, honestly let me sit and hold her. I saw that the purpose of the lesson had been achieved, and I was secretly happy in my heart. Remember, the child is very face-saving, you must give her a step down, your teaching work can be considered a successful completion. "See how sensible the baby is, understand the mother's tiredness, let the mother sit and hold, the baby grows up!" The child's face is really a June day, saying that it will change, and immediately smiled at me with love. The lesson work must be redoubled, "Come, daddy hug, see how sensible the baby is", Grandma couldn't help it for a long time, rushed out of the room, "Grandma also hugs, baby really understands". After this loving lesson, the child left the high standard and strict hug behind him and never mentioned it again.

The second behavior is to deliberately find stubble and throw things.

We know that infants and young children will throw things after 7-8 months, this is the sensitive period in the strange, children perceive the space in this way, we try to provide throwable but small sound things for her to play, such as small leather balls, small yoga balls, if there is a sound of things, we see her thrown on the crawling mat, so as not to affect the downstairs people rest.

After a long time, you can't help but clean up, because things on the ground are really everywhere, and there is no place to get off. But as soon as you packed up, she found it and quickly returned to its original state (scattered on the ground). I couldn't stand it anymore, and my grandmother felt the same way, so we kept deciding to teach her a lesson. I said to her in an encouraging tone, "Baby will now help her mother with things, and things on the ground will be picked up and put on the table...", and my daughter didn't seem to hear it and ignored it. Then I packed up, picked up the items and put them on the table, and within a second, she immediately pulled me to the ground, which I thought was a challenge to my endurance. "Han Han, pick up the things on the ground," I said seriously. The little guy ignored it. At this time, grandparents also came over and said. She was a little aggrieved, crying and looking for someone to hug. Look for Dad, Dad said, "You pick up things and hug them"; then look for Grandpa, Grandpa is also a clear position; look for Grandma, Grandma is busy cooking, there is no time to pay attention to her; look for Mom, Mom naturally will not compromise. Find a circle of no one to hug, that kind of helpless look, you have to accidentally can't help but hug, then the previous achievements are abandoned! When I came back to my mother, I squatted and put my arms around her and let her cry. Wrap your arms around her so that her wounded heart can be relied upon and will not feel abandoned. At the same time, however, the position must not be changed, and it cannot be held until the purpose is achieved.

At this time, no matter what Grandpa and Grandma said, she just refused to pick up things and cried even harder. Temper is really stubborn! A small fart, the face is bigger than the sky. I compromised slightly, "Come, Mom picked up one, baby picked up one, how about it?" Mom has already done it, and baby has done it." Although not very happy, she did it anyway. Then encourage it, "The baby will help the mother to pack up the things, the mother to hug." After the unanimous opposition of the whole family to her, she should also recognize some of her own problems, and the deliberate search for stubble to throw things has never happened again.

Back to the theme, loving children can realize that you love him, even when teaching her. If it weren't for the love of our children, how could we teach him a harsh lesson? Teaching your child with sincere love will make you feel less guilty after teaching your child. If this method is done properly, the effect is naturally obvious, and the child can still thrive in happiness!

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