Text/Little Snow Mom
In today's society, with the increase in life pressure and education costs, more and more children are brought by the elderly, because parents have to go out to make money, and it is difficult for a person to support the family's income.
And the elderly with babies, the original time is more common is grandparents with children, now many young parents are only children, so more and more grandparents have become the main force with babies, after all, there is this one child in the family, whether it is the old man over there who likes it.
In the countryside, it is more common for grandparents to bring their babies, because they all live together; in the city, many of the community are grandparents with children, because some are worried about the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and some mother-in-law live farther away.
I once saw a topic on the Internet that said, "Who brought your child?" "More than half of the people chose Grandma, with their parents in second place and Grandma in third place.
"Grandpa, grandma, grandma, grandpa", what is the status in the child's heart?
Many elderly people like to ask their children a question, do you think "grandparents or grandparents?" "I hope that I will rank first in my child's heart and be liked and loved by my child."
A group of surveys have been done abroad, and the results show that children communicate with grandma more frequently, the degree of love is relatively high, and there is less communication with grandpa, especially grandma who pays more in time, materially, and companionship.
So everyone originally thought that this ranking was the front of the grandparents, the grandmothers and grandfathers, but in the data statistics, the more accurate ranking is: grandma first, grandma second, grandpa third, grandpa fourth.
Of course, this data is only a rough general data, and does not represent every family, after all, the situation of each family is different, and the time spent with children is also different.
Why do more and more families choose "grandma and grandpa" to bring their babies?
We can find that more and more young mothers now choose to let grandma and grandpa help with their children, and the reasons for this I believe everyone can guess part of it.
First, the advantage of grandma and grandpa with a baby
Grandma and grandpa with children, a more obvious advantage is to avoid the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, because of living habits, personality reasons, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is prone to contradictions, coupled with the conflict of parenting concepts, resulting in many mothers are reluctant to let the mother-in-law help.
And this point grandma is very advantageous, her daughter is raised by herself, from the personality to the habits of life are very familiar with each other, so there will not be much gap in the way of educating children, including living habits.
In addition, many grandmothers help to bring their babies, they are distressed about their daughters, and when educating children, they are also based on the opinions of the children's mothers, and there are few conflicts because of the concept of parenting.
Second, the disadvantages of grandma and grandpa with babies
Because it is her own daughter, when the grandmother takes the baby, she must say more good things for the child's mother, and the status of the mother in the child's mind is very high. The corresponding father's influence in the family is relatively low, and the sense of existence is relatively low, because it is not completely familiar, and the number of times the child hears the father from the grandmother is much lower than the mother.
In addition, the mother-in-law and son-in-law living together will also have some estrangement, more or less less natural, but the same problem is also reflected in the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
Grandparents taking children with children is taken for granted, but avoid these problems as well
Many people think that grandparents should take children, after all, bao moms are married, helping to bring the baby is an attitude, and they are also their own grandchildren and granddaughters, and they have the obligation to help with the children.
Most grandparents are still very fond of their children, after all, "generational relatives" are willing to pay for the care of children, but because of the problems of children, it is easy for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to quarrel.
For example, during confinement, the mother-in-law loves the child more than the daughter-in-law, the child is too spoiled when educating the child, the normal education work of the parents is destroyed, etc., the above problems are difficult to avoid, coupled with the lack of communication between each other, there are resentments between each other, and there are more and more natural problems over time.
In fact, the heavy responsibility of children's growth lies more in the parents, the elderly can only help a part, when they are young, they can take care of their children's lives, but a little older, the elderly in education are not very good at interfering, and parents do not want to throw anything to the elderly, and the responsibility must be borne.
As for the grandparents who help with the baby, but also consider the actual reasons, who has time, who has the energy, who is close, are the combination of these factors to finally decide who can help, as for the child and who kiss, do not need to ask the child this question, must be who with the child more, who is good to the child, who is willing to accompany the child, the child will kiss whom!
Interactive topic: Did your grandparents bring up your children, or did your grandparents bring them up?
I am Xiaoxue mom, a post-90s mother, pay attention to me, and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!