Text | Lee walnut
I was amused by a hot search early in the morning.
A mother in Huai'an, Jiangsu Province, hid it in her child's school bag in order to avoid her child's winter vacation.
Mom also said confidently: I believe he will not find it all winter vacation.
After all, throughout the holidays, children will not touch the school bag again!
Unexpectedly, this hot search has caused many netizens to recall their childhood:
"When I was a child, in order to prevent me from playing with the computer, my mother cut out the ball in my mouse, and I used toilet paper to make a ball, and the operation was very smooth."
"My mother did all the operations of hiding the mouse and mouse ball, and later found that I could play with the keyboard, and she even put away the keyboard and mouse for me."
"My mom unpluged the broadband cat's power cord and hid it in a shoe cabinet box."
"My dad hid my ps3 first, but he didn't know that the AV cable of the TV could also be used."
……
Times are evolving, and the battle of wits between parents and children will never go out of style.
How many old mothers and fathers have entered spy mode as soon as the holidays arrive: hiding mobile phones, tablets, remote controls, cutting off power cords, and even bringing key accessories to their bags to work.
It's really hard to expect kids not to play with electronics during the holidays!
Especially this year, as the first winter vacation after the double reduction, all localities are calling for reducing the burden of students' winter vacation homework, and some provinces even let children sign a letter of commitment to refuse subject training classes.
Parents are busy with work and preparing new year goods, and it is difficult to keep an eye on their children all the time.
So, how to spend a long vacation with no training classes, winter vacation homework and much less than in the past?
No
-Number-
1
Electronic products, forbidden is unstoppable
A few days ago, I saw a parent post asking for help: The winter vacation is coming, how to avoid children playing mobile games?
His daughter is in the third year of junior high school, and usually as soon as she completes her study tasks, she pesters adults to ask for mobile phones, and her parents can't let her play for a few minutes.
What he worries about is that once the holidays, his daughter has more space and time, and if she can still complete her homework as usual, can she take her mobile phone, will it be addictive?
And the daughter is in a rebellious period, and the parents dare not speak too heavily.
The only thing he could think of was to hide from the child and not give her the opportunity to "ask" for her phone.
But where else can I hide? Parents went online for help.
His fears were justified.
Studies have shown that the establishment of children's learning self-awareness is a long process, and it is not until at least fifteen or sixteen years old that they really have self-awareness.
Until then, because of the lack of concentration and stability of the brain's attention, they were easily tempted to go outside of learning.
In order to compete for the attention of customers, all kinds of electronic software often set up more eye-catching pictures and more lively sound programs, giving people very direct sensory stimulation.
Adults still can't resist the temptation of mobile phones, let alone children with immature mental development?
Human nature is procrastination, laziness, and playfulness.
On the one hand, the temptation of various electronic software, on the other hand, the pain and suffering of self-discipline, almost no choice, the child is attracted to the mobile phone.
According to the 47th Statistical Report on the Development of China's Internet, the Student Party is the largest group, up to 21%.
In today's unprecedented prosperity of the mobile Internet, it is too difficult to educate a child!
On the one hand, children have poor self-control, on the other hand, electronic products are too tempting.
The double puzzle has created one child after another who is addicted to mobile phones.
02
The child's self-consciousness cannot rely on hard tubes
A few days ago, a heart-wrenching news came from Guangxi:
In order to avoid his son's delay in learning with his mobile phone, the father asked his son to return the mobile phone.
When the son went upstairs to get the mobile phone, he took a pair of scissors in his hand, and when he returned the mobile phone, he also stabbed the father in the neck with scissors.
His father had a carotid artery hemorrhage and died after being sent to the hospital.
The son who has worked hard for more than ten years, because of a mobile phone, even the life of his loved ones is disregarded. I don't know whether to say "angry at his misfortune" to his child or to lament "mourn his indisputable".
What is even more heart-wrenching is that a casual search on the Internet can find many children who are addicted to mobile phones and have conflicts with their parents.
American child psychologist Rudolf Drex said: "Whenever a parent orders or forces a child to do something, it can lead to a power struggle." ”
For children who are playing, the rough control of parents can easily cause children's anger, and parent-child conflicts will occur.
Therefore, it is impossible for children to consciously put down their mobile phones and forcibly control this road.
Maybe there are parents who think: Anyway, it has been a holiday, and if the child wants to play, let him play for a while, otherwise he will have to be angry with the child all day.
During the holidays, children can naturally relax, but relaxing ≠ spread out playing with mobile phones.
A national board of education study showed:
After the long vacation, the students' mathematical ability regressed by 2.6 months, their reading ability by 2 months, and their academic level decreased by an average of 1 month.
And the higher the grade, the more obvious the ability regression of the students.
So much so that after the start of school, teachers spend an average of 6 weeks reviewing old knowledge.
But there are new teaching tasks in the new semester, and teachers may not have time to take everyone to review old knowledge.
This leads to: the child's previous knowledge has not been firmly mastered, and the new semester has new knowledge with higher difficulty, and the child will learn more and more hard.
The more bored the child, the easier it is to be attracted to the mobile phone, and so on.
This creates another dilemma:
Limit children to play mobile phones, children hate you; do not limit it, and worry about children's addiction, affecting learning.
"Tube" or "leave it alone" is not good for the growth of the child.
How to properly deal with the contradictions caused by children and mobile phones?
03
Instead of staring at your phone
It is better to cultivate children's self-control
Harvard psychology professor Daniel Wegener once did a work on the realization of self-control.
He told the students: For the next 5 minutes, please don't think about the white bear.
The student knew he shouldn't think of the white bear, but he couldn't help but think of it. The more the professor asked them to think of something else, the more it backfired.
Wegener thus calls this phenomenon an "ironic backlash."
Mobile phones are equivalent to "white bears", the more parents do not let their children play, the more children are concerned about mobile phones.
Therefore, instead of focusing on "how to deal with mobile phones", parents should think about how to cultivate their children's self-control.
▎1. Cultivate children's excitement outside of mobile phones
The following tricycle, can you imagine that he was a 15-year-old boy who spent 15 days "building" it himself?
The boy's name is Qi Xiangshuo, and he likes his grandfather's electrician's kit, playing with pliers and wrenches.
When he saw children's toys, he bought them but didn't play with them, but just took them apart to see what was structured and how it worked.
Grandpa not only did not criticize him for dismantling, but also played with him, while explaining his knowledge to him, very supportive of his hobbies.
Grandpa also provided him with tools and materials to clean up two rooms for his studio. His "studio" is filled with dense wires, circuit boards, various ammeters, power meters and other instruments.
This tricycle was made by him using a discarded fire extinguisher, a worn-out battery, an abandoned office seat and four wheels.
In addition to the tricycle, he has also built an "oil immersion amplifier sound", a mobile phone Bluetooth operated switchboard, a square dance audio, and is currently building an "airplane".
Children who are interested in hobbies will not focus on mobile phones. Because the hobby itself has given enough attraction.
So, if your child has any hobbies, take advantage of the holiday opportunity to encourage him to achieve it.
▎ 2. Help your child set a goal
Someone once interviewed Hu from the School of International Relations of Peking University and asked her how she spent her winter vacation.
"I'll finish my homework in the shortest possible time in high school and then I'll do the problems I should do," she says. ”
She knew exactly what she wanted.
For example, in high school, her study of geography, three-dimensional geometry and other subjects was not ideal, so she would usually consciously record it and concentrate on solving it during the holidays.
I believe that every child has his or her own daily desire to do things.
For example, reading a few famous books, watching a documentary, learning a talent, or other things that have been thought about for a long time but have no time to complete in ordinary times can be solved during the holidays.
Parents should also be a person with a heart, pay attention to what aspects of their children's daily goals, and remind their children to complete them during the holidays.
Goals are the starting point of motivation, and children with lofty goals will not waste time playing on mobile phones without nutrition.
▎3. Help your child plan well
If you don't let your child play with your phone, your child will ask: What do I do?
At this time, the importance of false planning is reflected.
I have seen the daily planning given to my son by gymnastics champion Liu Xuan: reading, writing, listening to stories, learning English, exercising, watching cartoons...
How long each thing accounts for, is clearly marked, and the plan is accurate to the point.
Although we may not be so precise about the child's planning, but to make a specific and enforceable "schedule" for the child, let the child "press the table" for the holiday, the child will not be idle, the mobile phone to lose attention.
▎ 4. Parents should set a good example and create an atmosphere of "not playing mobile phones" for their children
Tolstoy famously said, "All education, or nine hundred and ninety-nine thousandths of education, comes down to example." ”
If parents usually like to brush vibrato and watch small videos, it is difficult for children to quit their curiosity about mobile phones.
How parents treat their leisure time, children treat their holidays.
Many self-conscious children actually do not rely on parental urging, forcing, yelling, and supervision.
It is the parents who do their best and put the focus of change on themselves.
Parents who do not play mobile phones can cultivate children who do not care about mobile phones.
I hope that our children can make reasonable use of this winter vacation and grow up healthily!