Parents divorced, the impact on children is not big? This often depends on how much attention the parents pay to their children after divorce.
Some parents kick their children around as balls when they divorce, and they do not care about their children after divorce; some parents constantly fight for custody when they divorce, but after divorce, they vent their marital misfortune anger on their children; some parents say how much to give their children a month when they divorce, but after divorce they become iron roosters; some parents not only do not call their children or open videos during the New Year's Holidays, but even the children's birthdays do not have a greeting...
The divorce of parents itself has no impact on the child, as long as everyone can greet the child warmly and pay more attention, the child can still have a happy childhood, a sound personality, and a good life. But if the child is unfortunate enough to meet the types of parents we mentioned earlier, then the child's life will begin to darken from the moment the parents divorce.
More and more children in divorced families around them become sensitive as they get older. Especially during the New Year's Festival, relatives' inquiries about children in this regard are simply more harmful than washing the bottom of children's academic performance.
In this regard, Xi Xi's mother hereby appeals that for children in divorced families who know that one of the parents is seriously derelict in their duties, the following problem relatives should stop stimulating the child!
(1) "Did your parents call you for the New Year?" ”
After the girlfriend divorced, her daughter followed her, but the child's father did not fulfill the slightest responsibility, did not give a single child support for many years, and did not call the child on weekdays.
Two days ago to go to the girlfriend's house to play, just happened to meet some relatives in her house, taking advantage of the girlfriend to go out to buy vegetables, relatives immediately "concerned" asked: "Did your father call you for the New Year?" "The child was originally having fun, and all of a sudden the tears flowed down, which was very painful to watch."
The other party's irresponsibility, as a relative, must also know more or less about this situation. Try to avoid these topics in front of your child, and you will often make your child feel better. Many family parents have a great impact on their children after divorce, and if they are coupled with the curious inquiries of relatives every five minutes, the pain in the children's hearts will often expand.
(2) "When you grow up, will you recognize your father and mother?" ”
Chinese-style teasing children often has no bottom line to speak of, and many people are always in a state of "not making children cry, they will not give up".
Knowing that one of the parents of a child has not fulfilled his obligations after knowing that his parents are divorced, relatives often like to quip: "When you grow up, will you recognize your father and mother?" ”
If a child refuses to answer the question, relatives will often say, "Why is your child so rude?" I asked you what you said and you still didn't answer. ”
If the child replies that he will not recognize, some relatives will often say: "How can I not recognize it?" Your child is still relatively cold-blooded. ”
If the child answers that he will admit it, the relatives will say: "She\ he doesn't care about you, do you still want to recognize it?" Are you a fool? ”
In short, no matter whether the child answers or not, or how to answer, it will eventually be talked about by these relatives. Uncovering the child's scars again and again seems to be the most proud of this part of the relatives. ”
(3) "If your father and mother remarry and have children, don't they like you?" How do I feel that they prefer the children born later? ”
After the parents divorced, the chances of remarriage are high. Having children after remarriage has also become a natural thing, after all, everyone wants to have a child as a bond to better maintain the reorganization of the family.
However, these routine operations of his parents have also become a joke by relatives about the eldest child. Divorced families, parents who can pay as much attention to their children as they did when they were not divorced, are themselves relatively few, so that most children in divorced families are sensitive.
However, some relatives who like to sprinkle salt on wounds often like to poke their children's sore spots. After making the child cry, he would also comment in a dashing manner: "Look, look, this is the child of the parents' divorce, how pitiful!" ”
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All in all, most of the children of divorced families are already scarred for various reasons, and as relatives, please do not use this as a topic to interrogate children endlessly.