Hesitant to have a second/third child? Listen to what people say, it's too practical

Subject: Why would you want to have a second/third child?

In everyone's questions, we often see questions about "Do you want to have a second child?" Since the opening of the three-child, more and more families have also begun to prepare to have a third child.

In fact, there are many girls who want to have a second/third child, but there are many concerns, such as money, time companionship problems;

However, there are also some girls who have given birth to a second/third child, believing that having more children has the benefits of multiple births, such as increasing the stability of the family, reducing the pressure of support for the children, and adding more security to their old age.

Therefore, in this issue, we would like to invite those girls who have given birth to a second or third child, or are preparing to conceive a second or third child, to share your experience.

Why would you want to have a second/third child?

How did you make up your mind?

Is there any experience you can share with the other sisters?

Let's see what everyone says

1, more sense of security

#Have a baby#

Just gave birth to the second child, still in the confinement. The first child girl is three years old, and the second child is a boy, and life is complete. It seems that the post-90s around us all give birth to two children, so that children have companions, and our parents are three or more in that generation, so we naturally want to have two.

When a child was confined to watch "The Human World", life and death are impermanent, I am afraid that the child will have any accidents when we are old, then we do not have any fertility, the whole family will collapse, in order to ensure the stability of the family, we must give birth, haha at the end of last year because of the unstable fetal flow of one, still did not shake my heart to give birth to the second child, this year to adjust the body to actively prepare for pregnancy.

And a daughter is too cute, completely inherited the husband's excellent genes, in-laws and parents are rushing to take the baby, choose which side to help with the baby is also a happy trouble. Everything is ready, only one more is owed

Although I am not yet married, but I have decided very early to have two children, because I am an only child, really envious of the family with brothers and sisters, growing up alone is really lonely, may also be because of my idea, my Shibu husband and future mother-in-law are also very satisfied with my stone nature.

Personally, the marriage of two children can be more stable, for the children in addition to not being lonely, two children can also disperse the mother's excessive attention to the child, to avoid clothing, of course, this is my personal thoughts, sisters still have to listen to their own hearts, otherwise they are persuaded to have two children and three children, and the dissatisfaction in their hearts is easy to rise, which is not good for marriage

At present, there are two children. I want to have a second child because I have a younger brother myself, my husband has an older sister, and we all agree that it is good to have brothers and sisters to take care of each other when we grow up.

When Grandpa was ill the year before, my mother and uncle shared the care together, and if I had an only child, the pressure in this regard would be greater. So we all feel that the second child is the best gift to Dabao. Now the pattern of brothers and sisters makes me feel very lucky and happy.

The point that needs to be paid attention to after the second child comes out is that he must pay more attention to Dabao, and he will love the second treasure more.

Hello, I am now a second-born mother, this year's big treasure female treasure 6 years old, the second child male treasure 3 years old, my cognition is not willing to my children are only children, must have more than two, my first baby is a very good and very good doll, I basically did not worry, very well-behaved and considerate, and my husband's participation is very high, change diapers with baby to sleep, and even take the baby to measure the size of the business, cook what he is wrapped

Later, with the second child, the in-laws fully supported and cooperated, usually my husband and I are basically taking care of the storefront, the father-in-law takes the baby, the mother-in-law cleans and cooks at home, everything is orderly, and the two babies are loved

Because with the second treasure, the relationship between the two old people is getting closer and closer to us, usually I respect the old man's thoughts, the methods they bring I basically do not participate, they are happy with each other, their grandchildren will not be wrong. The feeding methods are all managed by them, and the others, I have time to manage it. The family is very happy.

I also told my husband that if, when we have saved a certain amount of money, we are ready to have another three children, because the money can be earned slowly, but the baby cannot give birth after a certain age, and it is impossible to have children in the future. My in-laws and mother-in-law all listen to us, as long as we are willing to have three children. They are also very happy. Everyone likes to be more and lively.

Dabao is four years old, and the second treasure is expected to give birth in the middle of this year, and it is likely that he will have three more children. Having more children is partly because we like children, and on the other hand, we don't want to be as lonely as our parents in our later years.

Economically, my family belongs to ordinary wage earners, my husband and I need to make money to support the family, my husband makes a lot of money, and my money subsidizes the family. Every day is to go to work and commute together with children to raise children, and take the baby to travel around the country on holidays. When Dabao was a child, I took it full-time for nearly two years, and the effect of parenting was very satisfactory to the whole family (including the elderly), and the child's personality was sunny and healthy. When I was more than two years old, I continued to work, and after work, I took over with my husband and took the baby. When the second treasure is born, he will ask the old man and the nanny to help together.

There is financial pressure, but thinking of the happiness brought to us by the baby, the pressure is nothing, but it makes me and my husband have more motivation and access to make money.

There is a multi-child parenting experience is that if there is not enough manpower at home with a baby, you can let the child enter the nursery in advance, and when choosing a school, choose a private school with better services, you can worry less about it.

I am an only daughter, my husband is an only son, and I have a daughter after marriage. When the baby is more than one year old, the mother has breast cancer and needs surgery. At that time, I really felt what it means to be old and young.

My father-in-law died more than ten years ago, only my mother-in-law was alone, and it was originally my parents who were taking the baby. When my mother was hospitalized for surgery, I asked for all the annual leave I could take. After feeding the baby in the morning, I handed the baby to my mother-in-law, hurriedly ran to take over the vigil father, and when the father came home to freshen up and give the mother food at noon, I ran back to take care of the baby. At night, after boiling porridge for the mother, he ran back to the hospital to replace the father, freshened up the mother, and rushed home to bathe the baby and sleep after the end.

When encountering things, there is no brother and sister to share the pressure, only complaining that he does not have three heads and six arms is the situation of a single child. So I have an iron heart to have one more child, and I don't want to have so much pressure and sadness on my own if I had that day in the future.

This topic, I want to share it. In fact, as soon as I got married, I knew that I might have two babies, which was the idea that my mother had always instilled in me.

Naively, I began to think that one was actually good, until my mother was sick, and my husband and I could not take care of my mother. It was my uncles and aunts who took care of my mother, and I thought, in the future, don't let my daughter be so helpless, and have a brother and sister who can help her.

The daughter has also been looking forward to having a younger sister, a sister who looks like her. As a result, she was born as a younger brother, and she also liked it. I kept telling my husband to be better for the boss, and he did the same. Because he is also the eldest in the family, I can feel his family's preference for the second eldest, not to mention himself.

I hope that their two sisters and brothers will grow up healthy and safe, and become self-reliant and self-reliant. If there are sisters who want to have a second child, then give birth early, although it is very tired and bitter, but it is worth it. Be born early, have enough energy on your own, and recover better.

There are still 6 days to go to the due date, I read micro-questions and answers every day, and read the books of the baby sister. My eldest was a boy, my mother-in-law kept it, and we were both with our children every morning and evening. Since having children, the husband has changed a lot, interacting with the children, and going out to hug. After I had the second eldest, my husband took the eldest to take a bath, and the husband told others that if the second was a girl, it was better, and if it was a son, it was not bad. The boss is also looking forward to the arrival of the second child. My mother-in-law came over from the time I was 8 months pregnant to help bring the eldest to cook for me. My parents bought a lot of new clothes for the second eldest, and now our whole family is looking forward to the birth of the second eldest

If you want to ask why I gave birth to the second eldest, it is probably the boss who asked me today, why do I get old, who accompanies me? I said the baby in mom's belly will accompany you. The child's eyes lit up. There will be relatives who will accompany him to grow old slowly.

18 years of one daughter, two sons are now two months, and both children are complete. Determined to have a second child? In fact, I look forward to having two children in my heart, because I have a sister, my husband has only one child, and the second child is with me, and I have a sister who feels that she has more stable support than an only child when she grows up. The in-laws said that there were no requirements for boys and girls, and hoped to have two and give the children a companion.

Because when I was with my husband, I didn't take care of too much, I just believed in love, I believed in my husband, and my husband's real estate was purchased in full before marriage, and I didn't ask for an additional name. Then buy a house to buy a villa, full payment, in-laws out of most of the money, the buyer wrote my name, to give enough sense of security. No fetal sex identification, the mother-in-law from the first birth only said that if not Dink, pregnant with a child will be it, the flow of people is very hurtful, do not want to do good measures at the beginning. A child from the birth examination to the single ward after childbirth, the sister-in-law, etc. are all paid by the in-laws, and the husband also helps to take the baby after work. There is no obvious pressure to give birth to boys and girls, the in-laws said that after the house to give two babies a set, within the scope of our ability to help us with ... So when I was pregnant, I was born.

Thank God for giving birth to two babies safely and giving me a pair of good sons and daughters. Now 31 years old, maternity leave with a baby, indeed a little tired and a little hard, currently no idea to have three children [Lol]

2, the advice of people who came over # have children #

Dabao is 6 years old and Erbao is 3 years old, and what he wants to say most is that he must fully estimate the pressure brought by Erbao. When we were a big treasure, the father was basically in charge at night, in addition to breastfeeding, there was basically nothing for me at night, and the baby also loved to find the father, I felt as if it was not too difficult to come again. As a result, when the second brother was tragic, my father had to take care of the big treasure, the second treasure was particularly sticky to me, I had to do everything, change the diaper, soak the milk powder, and walk around the bend and so on.

Also, the material conditions should be prepared, and for ordinary people, large things such as houses still have to be planned in advance. If you really care about the school district, you must consider the second treasure after the school district room is done. All in all, two babies against one baby is not only doubling the burden, the main thing is that time and energy are difficult to balance.

After the 90s, the second child is in labor, and the family planning policy has grown up, in fact, I feel that I am still quite lonely, and I always feel that the only child is sometimes a little more difficult to get along with than the non-sole. So I hope that my big treasure can have brothers and sisters to accompany each other in the future, and I also hope to create a better personality for them. From the perspective of the in-laws and husbands, they all hope to have a second child, and the traditional concept of having more children and more blessings is still very heavy.

And the mother-in-law looks at the child is quite reliable, not afraid of tiredness and not afraid of hardship, after running-in, everything is willing to follow my parenting philosophy. The husband hopes that the children will be complete, experience the difference between the adopted child and the adopted daughter, and at present, the B ultrasound looks at the child's dual omnipotence. From my own point of view, in addition to the really painful early pregnancy reaction, I feel that witnessing my genes sprout different personalities of the little people who have different personalities is very magical, I have asked my husband how to continue to have three children?

But considering age (my obstetric director recommends that the uterus rest should be more than 18 months), his life pursuits (I hope that my career can continue to develop), family affordability (such as four rooms also need to change five rooms, cars and the like), my energy and patience (high-quality companionship for children), and future financial investment in children to buy a car and a house, etc., the plan is two.

Looking at the family of three boys in the same community, the grandfather's white hair is still working hard to see the baby; there is also the situation that the mother of the four daughters (the old three twins) has become full-time. I feel that if I want to balance my work pursuits, value realization and family, the two are already very happy. PS: Both babies are one hit, and they feel that physical exercise and healthy life are very important. In the process of erbao's pregnancy, my husband took on all the housework, washed my hair, washed clothes for me and my boss, tolerated the explosive temper of progestation hormone surge, felt that I enjoyed the full love of the whole family and colleagues, and pregnancy was like a process of enjoying SPA. Postpartum confinement yoga, hospital postpartum repair, and fitness personal training peach buttocks improvement courses have been scheduled. Looking forward to the appearance of the second treasure, but also looking forward to a better self!

Today's topic is simply very touching, because the third child is really something that I have been seriously thinking about recently but have not yet thought clearly. Female cloth male stone, the due date of the second child is two weeks later, but I have carefully calculated the various conditions that may be required for the third child.

First of all, as the doll sister said, the first child is not considered because of the high risk of losing independence, the second child should be the optimal configuration of the middle-class family, and the third child should be the icing on the cake, but the cost is much higher:

For example, the caravan, the probability that everyone's house is mainly three or four rooms, and the car has 5 seats. If the three-child house plus the elderly or nanny need more than five rooms, more than 6 seats are high costs, plus nanny fees. The situation in our family is that I want to have three children Husband thinks that 2 is enough, and if the third child really wants him, he will not refuse just to persuade me to be cautious.

Stone husband can not understand, think that there are not many modern intellectual women like me who are willing to give birth. I know in my heart that maybe it is my female cloth gene + family happiness, usually the husband is also actively involved in the baby is not widowed marriage, the old man can be mobilized + the economic foundation is consolidated without pressure + the old girl is really cute and intimate, so I really feel that looking at other people's three children is perfect, envious.

But the current worries are as follows:

Since both of us marry late and have children later (after 80 and 85), we are worried that if there is a situation in both parties, the pressure of three children is very high; in addition, although the income is good at this stage, we are worried about whether we can provide a medium-quality educational environment for the equality of three children in the future; others are preparing for the elderly And we are still raising children.

In short, we must have money, love, patience and determination, and human strength, and perhaps we can realize the beautiful vision of three children.

3. More Parenting Investment #Having Children#

Married to a stone husband, the in-laws are also simple and kind people who do not value sons over women, the daughter is 5 years old, the financial power is in hand, and she feels that even if she has a second child, she will not further improve the treatment in marriage.

As a result, when the second son was born, the whole family was simply crazy, and it was even better than the previous good treatment for me.

My husband and I stepped on the minefield of female single-man non-independence, and the sister-in-law has been living in her mother's house since marriage, so my in-laws will have the idea of balancing two small families with children. After giving birth to the second child, the in-laws' focus completely fell on the son's side, giving enough relatives, and I also felt that I had taken advantage of the big advantage, and the relationship with the sister-in-law was getting better and better. The eldest daughter also has a brother to accompany her in the future, grateful for all this

Coordinates of the southern eighteen-line small county thanks to meet the baby sister to have the honor of low Pu marrying the husband's husband's family is the big cloth family economy is relatively generous in the local learning doll sister theory knows that the big cloth family attaches great importance to children, especially male grandchildren

Soon after marriage, I became pregnant When my daughter was 1 and a half years old, I began to actively prepare for the second child Husband was also very cooperative When the son was born when the daughter was three years old, the father was super happy to reward 100,000 In the month, there was a sister-in-law In the month, the sister-in-law left, the parenting sister-in-law took over The family cleaning, washing and cooking and cooking There was another aunt responsible for the husband's only requirement for me As long as it did not exceed the principle, the money was spent casually As long as it did not exceed the principle, the son was born to buy a bungalow again and add my name, and the family father-in-law pressed the age money every year after the birth of the child And I gave the factory at home to my husband to take care of my father-in-law especially liked my son and daughter, and I also felt that I had completed the task and could do what I liked

Sisters, I think the first thing to know is to clearly know the attributes of the husband and the attributes of the other family members What is most needed in a stable marriage If you meet a big cloth family, you only need to have more children, most of the families like children, especially sons, and finally thank you again for being able to meet the doll sister to marry your husband smoothly Don't worry about the troubles of chai rice oil and salt, and you don't need to be too entangled when buying your favorite things Most importantly, I am also very happy I am grateful

4. Ensure family stability

I didn't want to have children before, I felt that the pressure of parenting was great, children and parents had to learn too much, if I didn't teach well, it was my fault. Later, I learned a lot of epigenetic knowledge in the baby sister planet, and understood that the attributes of children are innate in many aspects, and let go of the high requirements for children's education (but also let go of the narcissism of their own abilities). Now the mentality is much more relaxed, I am not so afraid of having children, and I plan to have a baby.

My two children are unexpected, now an 8-year-old and a 5-year-old, two children are raised by the father, there is no use of both sides of the elderly, nor please aunt, I found that there are really a lot of people who bring children who do not want to have [Lol], I especially want the third, I think the family continues to have small babies or very happy. And my experience is that life gives you what you accept with peace of mind, and then there will be unexpected surprises. On the contrary, if you overcalculate how much money the child will spend and how much energy is involved, it will not be worth the loss.

I am just born the second child of the baby powder, the big treasure just 2 years old, xiao bao is born with the tail of the ox, now born 24 days, the baby sister this tea party I want to talk about too much, I want to say that the baby is too cute, really they give you happiness far beyond your imagination, tired and happy, I think tired is only one or two years, so rush to their own youth, come to a three-year hug, just a son and a daughter, fulfill my children's dream of both.

In fact, pregnant and baby is very happy, when I made up my mind to give birth to a second treasure, I was thinking of finding a playmate for the big baby, the age difference between the two is not much, and the feelings are good after that, and they take care of each other, of course, in the case of physical permission, so I try to give birth smoothly

The second child is a pregnant woman, usually do more pregnant women's yoga, cooperate with Ramazer breathing method during childbirth, even I am stunned, the feeling of saving energy with the baby, more is surprise, to achieve physical and psychological tacit cooperation. The little fairies who have the idea of having two or three children are grasping it, taking advantage of their youth to recover, and then beautiful after giving birth

Now is the second child pregnancy, the second child has not landed before the start of planning the three children, can let me willingly take the initiative to give birth to children one after another, the most important thing is that our family is not widowed parenting, the husband will change diapers, will soak milk, know how to educate, the baby is more sticky than the sticky mother, the parent-child companionship is extremely high, I often say that his concern for his son is far more than me, so having such a father is the happiest for the child.

Of course, it is also inseparable from the financial support of the in-laws, once I know the large amount of rewards for pregnancy, the confinement center arrangement, the confinement center parenting sister-in-law to keep up, I myself am also a variety of postpartum repair and fitness to engage in, and strive not to let the birth of children have any big changes to themselves. In the end, love and money are inseparable. I have already confirmed my three-child plan

Now I am 32 years old, the second child is 36 weeks pregnant in the third trimester, when I give birth to a child, I am in pain and die, and I have said that I will not have a second child again, and now I want to have a second child for the following 6 reasons:

1. In fact, those pains are within the tolerable range, when seeing children grow up day by day, innocent laughter, really more comfortable than anything. Taking advantage of the young students, the body is also recovering, and the quality of the child in all aspects will be higher.

2. Afraid that when we are old, something major happens, the child does not even have a person to discuss, that is, she will have a husband in the future, nor will she have a brother and sister of her own to discuss, and it will not be so lonely to have a partner to grow up with

3. With the help of a family, our pressure is not so great

4. My own parents are older, afraid that they will need to take care of something in the future, but my children are too small to separate, so they want it early

5. At present, my job is also stable, I am afraid that there will be some changes in the future and then find a job, I don't have so much energy to take care of the baby, and I am afraid that the company will worry that fertility will affect the work.

6. One more child, the family is more stable, I hope to be able to be with my husband, a family of four and beautiful forever.

Hello sisters, I am a mother who is preparing to conceive for the second child, and my husband is temporarily living overseas, and we both work. Dabao we looked forward to coming for a long time, and then we both raised, without the help of our parents. I am an only child, originally afraid of raising children, but my husband is very supportive of me, especially after the birth of the child, he has a great change, pay a lot, and overcome a lot of difficulties, I am very moved.

And the whole parenting process was very pleasantly surprised, the child was two years old and very sensible, there were a lot of intimate and happy interactions, and we felt very happy. We all very much want to have two or three. In this way, the eldest will have brothers and sisters to grow up together and support each other. We can also have more nurturing pleasures. The eldest also wants younger siblings. So we are also actively preparing.

In terms of money, we can not save much, but it is enough, not very worried about the economic pressure of multiple births. We met a couple with three babies in a 40-square-meter room, and the family was very happy.

So you can live without money or money. The important thing is that the family is happy and happy. There are certainly many difficulties, but this is also the only way to grow.

Hope to give the sisters a little reference. Best wishes!