Not knowing how to criticize children is a problem that parents and friends often encounter. Some parents are more extreme, temper up is a fierce criticism, not only the effect is not good, but also will have a negative impact on the child's psychology, but if too gentle, and feel that education is not in place! This article tells you how to teach your child correctly and recommend teachers to parents!
01
It is best not to criticize the child during these 4 times
When you go out in the morning:
Parents should help their children to welcome the new day with a happy mood and say goodbye to their children warmly, rather than letting the children be in a bad mood from the morning and affecting the day's learning.
When eating together:
Many parents usually rarely accompany their children, only concentrate on facing their children when eating, see what problems the children have, or suddenly think of what problems the children have, and begin to teach the children.
This will affect the child's appetite, destroy the original quiet family time, make the child feel that eating with his parents is a painful thing, and seriously affect his physical and mental health.
When parents are in a bad mood:
When parents are in a bad mood, it is best not to criticize their children, it is easy to scold people with one mouth, and as a result, they hurt their children and damage their own image. At this time, be sure to stop your anger and wait until you are calm before you open your mouth.
In the event of a direct conflict:
The child said to come back at 8 p.m., and it turned out to be back at 10 o'clock. Parents have already nested a belly fire, and if they open their mouths at this time, there will inevitably be direct conflict.
It is better to press things down and wait until the next day to talk to the child. Moreover, parents show tolerance and generosity, which will make children consciously aware of their mistakes.
02
Reference: The ancients criticized children and also talked about timing
The ancients were also very particular about the timing of criticizing and educating children, believing that young and lowly people should not be blamed when they are at fault.
Chen Jiru, a Qing dynasty, believed that "those who are humble and young have been careful what they do, so they are responsible." He believes that the following seven situations are not appropriate to criticize children:
◆ First, "do not blame the public", that is, do not blame the child in front of everyone.
◆ Second, "regret and no blame", that is, shame and regret do not blame the child.
◆ Third, "twilight does not blame", that is, do not blame children at night.
◆ Fourth, "eating properly is not responsible", that is, not to blame the child when eating.
◆ Fifth, "do not blame when celebrating", that is, do not blame the child when you are celebrating.
◆ Sixth, "do not blame the child when you are sad", that is, do not blame the child when you are sad.
◆ Seventh, "illness is not responsible", that is, do not blame the child when he is sick.
03
Parents correctly criticize their children's methods
Whispered:
Parents should criticize the child in a voice lower than usual, the "low and powerful" voice will attract the child's attention, and it is easy for the child to pay attention to what you say, this low-pitched "cold treatment" is often better than the effect of loud reprimand.
silent:
Once the child has done something wrong, he is always worried that his parents will blame him, and if as he thinks, the child will have a feeling of "relief", and he will not take the criticism and his mistakes seriously;
On the contrary, if the parents remain silent, the child's psychology will be nervous, will feel "uncomfortable", and then reflect on their mistakes.
hint:
If the child makes a mistake, if the parent can calmly inspire the child and not directly criticize his fault, the child will quickly understand the parent's intentions, be willing to accept the parent's criticism and education, and do so also protect the child's self-esteem.
To put yourself in a different position:
When a child is scolded by his parents for causing trouble, he will often push the responsibility on others to escape the scolding of his parents.
At this time, the most effective way is to respond to the child when he argues that it is someone else's fault and has nothing to do with himself, "If you were that person, how would you explain it?" ”
This will make the child think about what to say if he is someone else. This will make most children find themselves at fault and will prompt him to reflect on his mistake of blaming others for all the blame.
Everyone makes mistakes, especially children. If parents can use the right method to educate and criticize their children at the right time and occasion, the children are easy to accept, and the effect of criticism is naturally good.