Is "procrastination in writing homework" a child's illness or a parent's fault?
I once thought that those who felt anxious because of their children's homework must be ordinary parents and families with low education and little reading, but now, even some university professors have begun to frequently complain about the bitter past of accompanying their children to study.
I began to feel:
It turns out that "accompanying children to write homework" is really a major event that can affect the parent-child relationship and family harmony.
And we are deeply trapped in it, carrying and carrying the long-cherished wish of cultivating an excellent child, but always because we are lawless and unenlightened, we push ourselves and our children to the opposite side of family education.
This is really not the calm and rational approach of an adult parent.
01
In fact, many parents are wrong at the beginning of their decision to "accompany their children to write homework".
As two roles belonging to the same family, the child's task is to learn and the parent's task is to make money, which is taken for granted. The reason why the act of accompanying homework is that the classroom teacher assigns an appropriate amount of homework to the children under the premise of reasonable compliance. That is to say, the leader of children's studies is the school, and the companionship of parents and families can often only play an auxiliary role.
However, many parents will not give their own efforts as a supplement to "little effect".
In their eyes, children are the performers of homework, and parents are the implementers of family education. Whether a child can break through all kinds of difficulties and risks at the middle and high school stages and eventually be admitted to a prestigious university, the key lies in the time, progress and quality of parents accompanying their children to learn.
Therefore, many parents of ordinary families are resigned to their children, as long as they can keep up with the progress of other students, but those parents and families with high education and high INTELLIGENCE are difficult to swallow the tone of "their own children are not as good as other children".
As a result, more and more parents are willing to spend time, energy and money on "writing homework with their children", and the pressure of doing exams and making up classes outside the school is all applied to the young shoulders of their children.
However, is the way parents "write homework with their children" really impeccable?
02
Most parents outside of "accompanying their children to write homework" are only accompanied, supervised and inspected.
Children lie on the desk to write homework, parents are sitting next to them, children write a wrong word, do a wrong question, parents will react on the spot, either scolding and complaining, or scolding, never had a moment of relaxation.
However, children have children's troubles, and there are children's pains.
When more and more parents and families, instigated by the marketing of many education and training institutions, are accustomed to transforming the process of educating children into a career that "moves the world", trying to make children understand that they have no way to retreat from their studies, and can only bury their heads in hard work, otherwise they are ignorant, disobedient, and ungrateful.
Under such a moral hostage, children have to listen carefully to lectures in school, do more questions at home, take more tests, and attend more classes.
Of course, after the double subtraction lands, the subject cram school has nothing to hide, but thousands of parents who love their children will definitely try their best to find ways to make their children ahead of others. Either "one-on-one tutoring" or personally go to war, instilling his wisdom and knowledge to his children in a brain.
But in the child's heart, it is clear that there is only fear.
03
If you have clear minds and deep memories, you will remember:
Knowing a thing, learning a method, mastering a set of methods, is definitely a completely different experience.
For children who have just begun to learn, even the simplest four operations, circular area and vertical calculation are likely to fall into a mental dilemma, how to teach do not understand, how to think can not understand...
At such a moment, on the contrary, the lower the education, the more able to remain calm.
If you think about it, a high-scoring student from a small excellent to a large, a famous university graduate, an American master's degree study, to his own children, if you can't even understand the addition, subtraction, multiplication and division, it is naturally a great shame for these highly educated talents, university professors or returnees!
Just like the "Doctor Tiger Dad" in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, who forced his 7-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter to learn Literature and Literature and advanced mathematics, the ardent expectations of his son Jackie Chan and his daughter Chengfeng, I think every parent can understand.
However, "writing homework with your child" is not to help your child catch up.
In other words, most children should not learn "difficult theories beyond their age", because primary and secondary school students, in addition to reading and learning, also have their own quality emotional intelligence and growth space, which need to be led by their parents to constantly understand and understand.
Instead of young children, instead of following their own nature to play and relax, they must also complete homework and write exercises at the request of parents and tutors, and read and memorize words from textbooks.
It is conceivable that if the desk in front of the child's eyes is always full of vast and complicated teaching and auxiliary examination papers, then under the "cramming education" of parents, the child can make the greatest struggle, that is, when completing homework, as far as possible to grind, delay and change.
04
Just as the spitting daughter is a college professor who is a scum of learning, and finally accepts the mediocrity of the child;
Just like the "Doctor Tiger Dad" who forced his children to learn high numbers, he was eventually sued by his wife to the court;
Just like most parents who "write homework with their children", they end up making a "chicken flying dog jump" at home.
It can be seen that in educating children, we cannot ignore common sense and impulsively and blindly act recklessly with a passion for blood.
Accompanying children, not only sitting intently at the child's desk, giving the child more endorsement and brushing tasks; nor is it "itching hands" when he sees the child writing the wrong topic, eager to throw the book out of the window on the spot, and pick up the stick to let him taste the pain of skin and flesh.
Not to mention that they can't feel very simple and indifferent, they force their children to learn the knowledge in junior high school and even college, thinking that as long as they are willing to spend time to teach their children, they are more willing to "chicken babies" than all parents, and their children can successfully pass the difficulties of the middle school entrance examination and the college entrance examination and live a better life than their parents.
The idea is beautiful, but the reality is cruel.
Today's school education and family education have just experienced the overthrow and transformation of the education and training industry, as parents, we must treat the education of our own children who "hate iron and steel" with a more enlightened and wise attitude.
We must learn to be kind to ourselves, care for children, arrange sufficient and reasonable rest and entertainment time for children in addition to learning, guide children to protect their eyes and sleep fully, but we cannot regard children's favorite games and comics as "flood beasts".
05
Today's children, holding mobile phones and computers all day long, have richer experience and more active thinking, and they should be understood by parents, families and society who have been somewhat rigid and stubborn in their thinking.
If you have written the homework in front of you, there are additional assignments that cannot be completed;
If you have finished your homework in front of you, you are still not allowed to look at your phone and play games;
If you finish the homework in front of you, parents still "pick the bones in the egg" to their children.
It is clear, then, that children's efficient, focused, and positive homework mindsets are getting worse and worse.
Perhaps, "homework procrastination" is not a child's disease, nor is it the fault of parents, but a stress response that most adults make under heavy educational anxiety.
In short, from a psychological point of view:
Children write homework, parents as long as they do their own things in a place not far away, read their own books, do not make noise, do not just indulge in mobile phones, do not affect the child's attention, can do "call to come and go", the first time when the child needs help, it is enough.
Because if you want to be effective, you have to concentrate.