"If I had the next life, I would definitely take care of my children at home and never want to go outside to earn money and get rich!" "If I hadn't wanted to go out and make this fart, the child wouldn't have been gone." Bloody lessons are before us, and it's time for us to see the reality.
Now many parents are uprooted and handed over their children to the elderly to bring, saying that it is to create a good condition for the future of their children, not to let their children lose at the starting line, but in their hearts are still homesick about their children, and the more cruel fact is that even if you work outside every year, the children still lose at the starting line.
A small child in the village left the child in his hometown to bring his parents after giving birth, and then the child did not know whether it was stuck or what reason the child was gone because the parents fed medicine at home. The blow brought by this incident to Fa Xiao was very big, every day was muddy, and it was painful, and after so many years, it has not been able to come out of this shadow.
There are so many such things happening, who is right and who is wrong, who can say clearly? There are also two real things that do not educate children well, which really make my heart ache and feel extremely sad, and every time I see it, my heart is dripping blood. So I have always insisted that the education of children should always be put first, and everything else can only be ranked second!
One: The child breaks the law
There was such a father named Gao Chengyu, who lost his beloved son because his child broke the law and was eventually executed.
"On the afternoon before my son's execution, at about 1:30, I followed my wife to the outlet to buy clothes for my son for the last time, I knew one of his favorite brands, and I knew that he liked navy blue, so the two of us went in, the store was full, and on the recommendation of the clerk, I bought a full set, and it cost 1997 yuan."
"I have been in business for more than ten years, and I have indeed made some money, and when the business was at its best, there were almost sixty or seventy million assets, and it is reasonable to say that the family's income can also support the high consumption of me and my family, but in fact it is not so."
His child wrote in the letter to him: "I did not expect that you raised me for more than ten or twenty years, and finally said goodbye to you in this way, in fact, this letter written to you is the most relaxed letter I have written, when you were a child, you did not get beaten by you, and now I think those "beatings" are actually useful, really, after being arrested this time, I have thought very carefully, where is the problem between me and you? It boils down to one sentence: "When two people with the same personality stay together, the result is definitely not good!" ”
Gao Chengyu said: "Only after people have tasted the taste of heavy blows, will they fade the initial glitz and look at the world with a humble attitude, in the past ten years, our business road has been too smooth, money is made a lot, but completely ignored the problems that occurred in the process of growing up of their sons." But everything has become an established reality, and it can only be endured with gritted teeth. ”
It's hard to experience how much pain this father has gone through since the accident of his child to the time everything returns to plainness. Whenever he posts his feelings online, I can't help but cry. I know that this father is a great scar that no one else wants to reveal, but he can accept everything calmly, the purpose is to tell everyone to "learn from him", to educate his children more, to understand the children's psychological problems.
From such a great father, shouldn't we parents wake up?
Two: The child is gone on his own
"It is suspected that due to the pressure of studying, the son of Professor Song, a famous Chinese economist, committed suicide! What a heart-wrenching thing!
"At this time yesterday, my son Song Haoran left, very suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving us forever, and can no longer punch in English (I hope to be able to truly implement the "double reduction")... At night I dreamed of him, he said good regret leaving us, Dad I am so cold! I said son, Daddy hug you! Yesterday to this day, I have been waiting for my son to come home, but he has not returned. ”
"Son Song Haoran's last exam, according to the requirements, to take all the books home, I clearly remember that he carried a large school bag, hanging heavy book bags around his neck, the bag rope is very thin and heavy, making several blood marks on his neck ... He suddenly left us with a cruel heart this time, leaving no words, presumably because he wanted to go to that happy world quickly. There, there were no assignments, no exams, only the painting he was most interested in, and the inspired, carefree time. ”
Professor Song said: "No longer longing for any fame and fortune, this is what I thought of when I looked at my child's paintings, and survived this life with him." ”
What a wonderful kid! How heart-wrenching! We simply can't experience how Professor Song presented his children's works in the public eye under what kind of courage, but we can't help but be sad when we see the blood and tears written by Professor Song.
"Adolescence is the hardest time in a child's life! Many parents do not understand their children's world, are busy with work every day, and do not pay enough attention to their children's adolescence. This sentence is a kind of "vigilance" made by Professor Song for this society, school and family from the bottom of his heart.
I hope Professor Song can be strong, you are an excellent person, and there are still many meaningful things waiting for you in society to do! Your child is also a good person, he just went to another world to draw and go!
I have always insisted that the education of my children should always be put first! Making money is really insignificant compared to your child's education! Therefore, as parents, we should do the following:
1. Bring your child's own
Regardless of your family's circumstances, if possible, the child should still be brought by yourself. Because on the one hand, every child's heart actually wants his parents to be with him. On the other hand, the elders' education methods and thinking habits are different from ours, and they are generally unable to educate children, after all, their physical conditions cannot keep up.
Although it is difficult for us after the 80s and 90s, it is insignificant compared with the children who want to have normal "father's love" and "mother's love". In fact, children have never thought about what kind of comfortable life they want to live, they only know that it is happy to have their parents around. Many times it is just the wishful thinking of our adults themselves, and the characters make a lot of money to make the children comfortable.
2. Don't force your child to read
Although reading can change a child's future, compared to the child's physical and mental health, what is the gain of reading? As parents, we can't only "read" in our eyes, children do not want to read we will slowly guide, do not move to fight, think about how many books we have read ourselves?
In fact, children do not read well, on the one hand, the reason is that children do not understand things now, and they have not studied seriously at all, not stupid. Smart kids tend to be slower than other kids! On the other hand, the child's habits are not well cultivated, how can you make the child fall in love with learning while playing?
Therefore, as parents, we should cultivate children's habits rather than learning. Often the child's habits are good, and natural learning is good. We stipulate when the child gets up, when to play with toys, and cultivate his time concept and habits, which will be better than the effect you beat him and scold him to let him learn.
3. Pay attention to your child's psychological problems
Today's children are more intelligent, so their hearts are not actually "children", they have their own "little nine-nine". If we treat them as children, we miss out on their inner activity.
I will often tell his child: "No matter in school or where, when you encounter unhappy or unsolvable problems, you must talk to your parents, and your parents will help you solve them together", so that the child will often tell you about his things, and you will know that your child has been unhappy about what things have been troubled recently.
Money is really not a panacea, and the education of children is the first thing to consider as a parent. Let's not be self-righteous and reverse the order. How many children have you managed? Do you make enough money for your child to win at the starting line? Does your child know that you don't care about home?
Do you know what your kids will think of you?