1, I went on a blind date, the other party is actually my brother's ex-wife, my original sister-in-law. She and I stared wide-eyed, and the atmosphere was very awkward. I was about to say goodbye to her, but she sighed and said

1, I went on a blind date, the other party is actually my brother's ex-wife, my original sister-in-law. She and I stared wide-eyed, and the atmosphere was very awkward. I was about to say goodbye to her, but she sighed and said, your brother is not out, I just left him, if you and I are suitable, we can still talk. How much do you earn in a month now? I was embarrassed to say that my brother set up a company, which has become bigger and bigger in recent years, and has more than 100 million assets, I helped him, he gave me an annual salary of seven million! She was stunned for a moment, and then shouted, I went to remarry your brother, and then I ran away without a shadow!

2, noodles said: To succeed, you must have someone to pull it. The bun said: To be a person, you must have a thick skin. The child's heart scroll said: It is better to be a person or to keep a heart and eyes. The lobster said: The day of the great red is the time of great compassion. Fritters say: do not suffer, will not mature; always suffer, will become the old fritters. This is life, the road to success can not be separated from the help of nobles, the guidance of famous teachers, the understanding of friends, the magnetic pole of the villain, and the support of family. Life is not easy, and it is good and cherished.

3, yesterday is quite late, I toss and turn and have not fallen asleep, because I always feel that something is going to happen. Sure enough, the woman's sixth sense was accurate, and the male god actually took the initiative to send me a message. He said, "By the way, did I tell you I liked you?" I was overwhelmed with excitement and replied tremblingly: "Eh... No. After a long time, the male god replied, "That's good, because I don't like you, I don't like you, oh, hear?" ”

4, after work, I know that it is really not easy to earn money, and after making a girlfriend, I am very distressed. Later, my girlfriend said to me: "You give me this monthly salary, and I guarantee that your appearance will rise by a large margin." "What did I spend when I gave you all the money?" Daughter-in-law: "I raised you, so that you will become a little white face!" My head shook like a fan and ended up being hammered by my girlfriend!

5. Old Liu diligently gets up early every day to work in the dark, and when he comes back from work, he has to cook, and old Liu's daughter-in-law plays mahjong every day. He went home on time for dinner, and often scolded the old Liu Yitong who had not yet made a good meal. The neighbor advised Lao Liu: "Women don't get used to it, play mahjong every day, you work so hard, why don't you let her cook?" Old Liu helplessly said: "Brother, we have three chapters of the law before marriage, whoever makes more money will listen to whom, I will earn tens of thousands of yuan a year when I am tired and tired, and my daughter-in-law can win at least one hundred thousand yuan a year..."?

6. The brother-in-law took a piece of paper and ran to the old man with the surname Fen. The brother-in-law said, "Daddy, this is the treasure map, I give it to you, will you and me have 50 yuan?" The old man took a look at it and said, "You big liar, isn't this our family's painting, how can it be called a treasure map, and actually want to ask me for money." Brother-in-law: "I didn't lie to you, you look at the place where you drew with red pen." The old man carefully examined it, under the sofa, under the legs of the table. The old man was suddenly shocked, these were all the places where his old man hid his private money. He quickly said to his brother-in-law, "What, son, I'll give you 100 yuan!" ”

7, chatting with my girlfriend today, may be too excited, girlfriend saliva sprayed my face, I wiped it, my girlfriend asked, how disgusted ah, I replied, wipe evenly, girlfriend spit on my face again, said another mouthful of water on my face, said a sentence and wiped again, just that little amount of paste can not stop your big face, Nima, do not play cards according to the routine. My mother-in-law had just given birth to her second child and was still in the hospital, and my husband worked overtime at night to visit me in the hospital.

8. Not long after I went to work, my parents kept urging me to find a partner, but I was not in a hurry. This year they were anxious and said I wouldn't go home for the New Year if I didn't bring a girlfriend back. Helplessly, I could only spend five thousand yuan to let the girl who worked next to me pretend to be a girlfriend. What I didn't expect was that a week had passed, and my sister didn't want to leave, and told me that it was really not okay for the two of us to have a serious relationship. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, "Your family is very good to me, and they have given me so many gifts, I really don't want to give them back to you...?"

9. In my senior year, I went to look for a job with the girls in the same dormitory. At the train station, I met a big sister with a three- or four-year-old boy waiting for the train. The little boy was always clinging to me and wanted to sit on my lap. The girls in the same dormitory are very envious of my popularity. I triumphantly asked the little boy, "Why do you always like to sit on your sister's lap?" The little boy replied in a childish tone: "My sister has a lot of flesh on her legs, and she is comfortable sitting." Me: "Who's naughty kid, take it away quickly!" ”

10. I have always liked to read the crossing text, because these articles are very cool, and I have always dreamed of crossing as a beautiful woman in the world. Today I finally crossed over and found myself in an ancient woman. Immediately take a self-portrait in the mirror, the real is the eyebrow Dai Spring Mountain, autumn water cut pupils, smile like a hundred flowers blooming, moving like the wind swinging willows. Just when his heart was itching and helpless, he suddenly saw a big man in the shape of a biao protruding from the staircase and said: Sister-in-law, come down, Wu Song has a saying.

11, recently shouted girlfriends out shopping, girlfriends are pushed on the grounds of playing games. Curious, I asked, "How did you get hooked on playing games?" The girlfriend said happily: "Because I look young because I play the game!" Me: "Isn't it easier for computers to grow old when the radiation is so strong?" Girlfriend: "I'm almost 30 people, in the game, my teammates call me elementary school student, how young!" ”"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #