After I asked them why they planned to have a second child, they told me that they wanted to have another son or daughter and put together a "good" word, after all, in the traditional concept, children and daughters are a very happy thing, so is this really the case?
Aunt Wang used her personal experience to tell us that the children are actually not as happy as everyone thinks, Aunt Wang's family just has a son and a daughter, the daughter is 30 years old this year, has been married for several years, the son is 26 years old this year, just joined the work not long ago, their family looks like a very happy and happy family, but in fact, there are many internal contradictions, especially after the daughter marries out, she rarely interacts with the family.
And a large part of the reason for this is because of the eccentricity of the family, Aunt Wang's daughter told us that when she was young, she often had to help take her brother after school, and what was delicious was kept for her brother, basically rarely able to get the love of her parents, and living in such an environment for a long time made her heart very depressed.
The real trigger for the contradiction is that after she was admitted to college, her parents did not let her go to college on the grounds that her daughter did not need to read many books, while her brother failed to enter college a few years later, but his parents still wanted him to repeat it. This made her make up her mind at the time, and when she had the ability to leave the family in the future.
Children and daughters are not necessarily "winners in life", but there are such contradictions, which makes people worry
Older children have to let younger children go
Older children let younger children are the situation that occurs in most families, which is taken for granted by many people, after all, as an older brother and sister, it is right to let younger siblings.
But parents often ignore this point, that is, even as an older brother and sister, he is still a child, and he also needs the love and equal treatment of his parents, and sometimes a small act of parents may warm the child's heart, and may make the child cold.
One parenting expert addressed the issue in her parenting video, saying that when he was educating his two children, he couldn't just look at the age of the children, but at whose fault it was.
Because he felt that if he punished the child by looking at the age of the child, it would be unfair to the older child, and he would not be able to make the younger child realize his mistake. This is a very correct educational philosophy, and families with two children at home can refer to it.
Older children will be asked to support younger children
I remember watching such a TV show a long time ago, which made a special impression on me, which told the story of a female college student who earned 200,000 yuan by working a dozen jobs a year, and after watching this show, I was very sad for this girl.
Because she bore the burden that she should not have borne at her age, she chose to work a dozen jobs not for herself, but for her younger siblings in the family, for the sake of her younger siblings, she gave up almost all her free time and became a money-making machine.
"Brother-in-law" is a popular Internet term in recent years, which is used to describe the sister who sacrifices her own interests in order to support her younger brother in the family.
Many of the eldest in the family will be required by their parents to support their younger siblings after they have a certain ability at work, and even some parents will ask the eldest in the family to buy a car and a house for their younger siblings.
In fact, brothers and sisters can support each other beyond reproach, but if you sacrifice your own life in order to support your brothers and sisters, it will not be worth the loss.
The wrong concept of education is the "culprit" that causes family conflicts, and parents should be vigilant
Everything has a cause and effect, and the occurrence of family conflicts is mostly a problem for parents in the process of educating their children, so parents should pay attention to these two points in the process of educating their children:
First of all, don't be partial to any child.
Just as the so-called: "the emperor loves the eldest son, the people love the children", many parents in the process of educating their children, often have more or less eccentricity, but also some areas that still have son preference, often give more care to the boys in the family, and ignore the girls in the family.
There are also some parents who believe that girls will always be married in the future, and only boys can become the pillars of the family in the future.
In fact, in the current society, having children and daughters has not made much difference, as long as parents can seriously cultivate their children and give their children more love, in the future, whether children or daughters can return to parents well.
Therefore, in the process of educating their children, parents must not be biased toward any of their children, and they must give their children the same love, so that they can avoid the impact of their children's physical and mental health and allow children to grow better.
Second, pay attention to the relationship between children.
There is such a post on the Internet, which has caused a lot of netizens to argue, the content of the post is about the brotherly relationship and whether it is necessary to communicate, some netizens think that since the relationship is not good, there is no need to communicate, so as not to affect their mood, some netizens think that after all, there is a blood relationship, repair as much as possible to repair, do not let parents worry.
In fact, how the relationship between children often depends on how parents should deal with it, it is inevitable that there will be contradictions between children, after all, from childhood to adulthood living together, it is inevitable that there will be some bumps, such things appear, parents as long as they deal with it correctly, do not have knots in the child's heart, often will not affect the relationship between children.
Even after the child reaches adulthood, if there is a conflict between brothers and sisters because of certain things, parents should also do a good job of running in, so that children understand the importance of family affection.
Write at the end
The happiness of the family does not have much to do with having several sons and daughters, it depends on whether the parents have a correct family concept and educational concept.
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