Education is a process that requires continuous reflection and growth. There is no reason to be good in this world, and all educational methods need to be learned.
When raising children, "anxiety" is almost like a shadow with parents, whether the child has made progress or not, it cannot escape.
If there is a child who has progressed, parents will be anxious about whether he can improve more, and parents who do not improve will be anxious about the gap between their children and other children.
This is the vulnerability of parents, but also the nature of people, always feel that it can be better.
Nader van der Linden said:
Parents should stop seeking affirmations and comparisons outwardly, and judge whether they are doing the right thing physically, psychologically, and emotionally.
Yes, the test of your success in educating your child is the child's performance, and this is not only the grade, but also the comprehensive.
If you find that your child has the following 6 manifestations, it means that you have been well educated, continue to maintain, do not worry.
On the contrary, if parents do not reflect on their shortcomings, they should adjust their education methods in a targeted manner to allow children to develop in an all-round way.
will observe the color of speech,
Empathy is strong and will coax people
Such children usually have high emotional intelligence, and have a good heart, and their personality is relatively complete.
There are parents in the group who share their children's childhood events and always say with satisfaction:
"As long as the child sees me bowing my head and not speaking, he will come over and hold my face and ask in a grievous manner:
'Mom, are you not happy?' Don't you love me anymore? ’”
Every time no matter how unhappy, I will be warmed up by the child and immediately become a Buddha.
Children can coax people, adapt to the changes in the emotions of those around them, and express doubts and comfort when necessary.
In the future, it will be very advantageous to socialize, it is easier to win the respect of others, and it will be faster to adapt to the new environment.
Willing to talk to your parents
The fifth issue of "Tan Xin Society" invited Wang Ziwen, who talked about her original family.
In the theater play, Wang Ziwen is a "Qu Xiaoxiu" who is not afraid of heaven, both outwardly and internally strong, but outside the play she is a lonely girl, which is given to her by her growth experience.
Wang Ziwen wrote in the blog "He, She":
In a very small single room, it was unusually messy, and the furniture was only a single bed.
My parents put me by the bedside, I didn't know what my father was going to do, only that I was scared, my father kept talking, I couldn't listen.
She and her parents have always lacked communication and dare not open their hearts, because she knows that even if she says it, she will be ignored and not understood by her parents.
If your child is willing to find you and talk to you endlessly, please cherish and record the key points, which is also a good memory.
The child who can communicate his inner thoughts with you is full of trust in you, which also shows that he feels safe.
Afford to lose
When children experience failure, they will know where they should strengthen their practice and experience a feeling that they need to work harder to constantly stimulate their potential.
In a group event in "Where Did Daddy Go", Chen Xiaochun's child Jasper kept asking Ying Cai'er if she had won?
Ying Cai'er said, "No, Uncle Wu Zun won." ”
As a result, at that moment, Xiao Chunwa cried out, and Ying Cai'er comforted him that it was just a matter of luck, and he gradually calmed down.
Growing up to let children experience it is good, "losing" is not necessarily bad, but another gift, to let children understand this.
When encountering difficulties, ask parents for help as soon as possible
To seek help from others is to make good use of the resources around them.
I heard a story before that the father let the child move a huge stone, and the child spent a lot of efforts and did not succeed, complaining for a long time and then angrily leaving.
Later, his parents asked him: "We are by your side, why don't you ask for help?" ”
The child makes good use of the resources around him, and the parents should be thankful, which means that he has a strong ability to deal with problems.
From this point of view, Wang Ziwen is unfortunate, but fortunate because she has not encountered school bullying.
Many children in life who are bullied but dare not tell their parents will eventually suffer serious psychological or physical injuries, and even lose their lives.
Children do not trust their parents, and they do not ask their parents for help when they encounter danger, which is a sad thing.
Since when has home ceased to be the safest "haven"?
Will take the initiative to do housework
Children who are willing to do housework have strong self-care ability and usually have a sense of responsibility.
It is understandable that parents are distressed about their children, but he will always have to go out on his own in the future, and your arrangement will only make his ability unable to play.
Believing that the child can find the law in the continuous exploration, this trust will be the beginning of his independent life.
When doing housework, I also give my child a space, and in the case of ensuring safety, I show him a demonstration, let the child try it, satisfy curiosity and also cultivate various abilities, killing two birds with one stone.
Loved reading
Children can quiet down and read, indicating that they can be at peace inside, not disturbed by external disturbances, and immersed in the spiritual world.
Such children have a stronger sense of logic and order, and reading suitable books will make children more motivated to grow.
Simply design a bookshelf at home, place books that your children are interested in, and take your children to the bookstore to pick them when you buy them.
Reading is a good habit, so that when you grow up, you will become a person who "has a bookish spirit in your belly".
Instead of doing unnecessary anxiety, it is better to carefully observe the child's every move, reflect more on their own education methods, and do not love too blindly.