My daughter is four years old and she especially loves bowling.
When she was ten months old, I started reading picture books to her and grinding her ears. By the time she was about two and a half years old, when she had her own understanding of things, whenever she read a strange term, I would look for a video on the Internet to show her, hoping that she would have a more specific understanding of the new term. One day, she was captivated by the "bowling" video, the same video about bowling, which she watched repeatedly every day after that.
I think since she likes it so much, let's take her to see the real bowling. So I promised to take her to the children's arena every Sunday. Since then, Sunday has become her spiritual food for a week. Even if I said that there were so many coins to play today, I could only choose one item in the arena to play, and she would resolutely choose bowling.
Practice for a three-year-old child, is really just a probability event, sometimes a ball all hit, sometimes the ball and the bottle seem to become a Yangguan Road and a single wooden bridge, do not want to have any relationship. In this way, in the midst of laughter and shouting, countless happy Sundays were spent.
"Mom, buy me a bowling toy," my daughter told me, pointing to the bowling toys sold in the arena, in a pleading tone.
I thought a bowling toy wasn't too expensive, but it wasn't so easy to get away with. Moreover, to deal with these little ones after zero, you have to pay attention to some methods, especially at the age of taking the initiative to ask for things.
I thought for a moment: "But my mother only has so much money today, just now we ran out of bowling and eating", after listening to this sentence, my daughter was slightly lost.
"But...", my daughter turned around and looked at me with a clever look.
"If you are willing to not eat lollipops for a month from next week, then the money saved can buy one of the bowling balls, and if you are willing to sort out the clothes you have changed and the picture books you have read every night before going to bed, then your mother will have more time to work and study, so that the more money you earn can buy the rest of the bowling bottles." 」
"Oh, Mommy, you'll buy it for me," my daughter tugged at the corner of my coat and twisted her little ass. Apparently, spoiled mode is turned on.
Not to be outdone: "Oh, baby~ Mom really doesn't have any money", I squatted down and hugged the little her, my forehead rubbing against her chest.
She giggled.
Then, I said to her firmly and gently: "You think about it, you can buy it or not, and decide for yourself." ”
My daughter looked at me firmly, and knew that there was no room for maneuver in this matter, so she reluctantly agreed.
I naturally hope that in this way, she will not only have her favorite toys, but also develop good habits. Where there are goals, there must be implementation measures. So, when I got home, I drew a table, which represented the time in a horizontal row, for a total of thirty days, and a vertical arrangement for the task—whether to eat a lollipop, whether to organize clothes and books. I told my daughter: This table is pasted right next to our bed, where you can see it every day, and every day after completion, my mother will spend a small flower in the grid to complete the task. She was delighted with the "fun" rules of the game in front of her, and then cheerfully agreed.
"Delayed gratification" is the path that I have been walking since the child was three years old. Why delayed gratification? I don't know if you have heard of the famous Marshmallow Experiment in the United States, Professor Michelle of Stanford University found hundreds of kindergarten children, led them into an empty room, and then put a marshmallow in front of each child, and told them: The teacher is going to go out now, and if the teacher returns and the candy has not eaten, he can get two marshmallows.
Moms know very well how tempting a marshmallow is for a little friend without any excitement in this room! The result of the experiment is that many children can't help but eat on the spot, and some children can't help but eat half the time, and finally only a small number of children insist until the teacher returns, and this small number of children get two marshmallows, which is called delayed satisfaction. But the experiment didn't end there, and it was tracked until twenty years later, when the children went to college, and the result was that the average score of the minority was 210 points higher than that of the previous two groups of children.
Unexpectedly, the two lives have been determined in childhood, this experiment tells us that the growth and progress of life is essentially from marshmallows, bear the enjoyment and desire in front of you, there will be better harvests in the future, if there is no current little tempering and patience, then there will be no more sugar in the future, so patience training is crucial to the cultivation of a child's psychological mechanism.
From the toy storage room at home, it can be seen that as long as any favorite toy is in hand immediately, the like value will drop, two and a half days of freshness, the next time it is flipped "bedtime", it is impossible to say when. Nowadays, children living in the context of the motherland environment are very superior, and the toys they like are basically within reach, but the instant satisfaction makes it impossible for children to quietly explore some things, thus affecting children's concentration. Therefore, delayed satisfaction can not only inspire the child's creativity, but also protect her persistent love.
Later, when the epidemic broke out in China, we no longer chose to play in public places, and our daughter and the bowling ball she had in her heart in the stadium were separated by thousands of rivers and mountains, and I thought she would be very lost.
One day at noon, I was lying on the bedroom bed reading a book while my daughter played alone in the living room. Suddenly, she couldn't wait to come into the house and take my hand and said, "Mom, hurry up!" Let's go bowling together! I wondered where the bowling balls had come from, so I followed her suspiciously to the living room, where I saw rows of "standing" neat watercolor pens in the middle of the living room, and the toy basketballs she had prepared in her hand. Only then did she know that she wanted to use these watercolor pens as bowling bottles and the toy basketball in her hand as bowling balls. I looked at my three-year-old daughter in front of me and was both pleasantly surprised and admired by her imagination. At the same time, she also rejoiced in her creativity and enjoyed playing tirelessly all afternoon. Since then, she has liked to play like this whenever she is at home, but sometimes it is a few lines of color pens, sometimes a few rows of cars, or robots.
Thirty days passed, the page was full of small red flowers, my daughter completed the task as promised, and I fulfilled my promise to buy the bowling toy back home, and she was overjoyed. What makes me feel even happier is that after talking about the picture book at night, she consciously sorted out the clothes she changed and the picture book she read, and put them on the pillow and the bookshelf respectively, even if there is no "task", this has become a habit. I believe that good habits will also benefit her for life!
The pictures are from the internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete!