We face various challenges every day, parents have the most problems in educating their children, they need to face work during the day, and they have to teach their children after work.
This is really stressful, family education issues account for a very large proportion of life, we will often see a lot of hot topics about family education.
A 4-year-old boy in Jinan suffered a burn
This is a report of a 4-year-old boy in Jinan who was burned by water, and the child did not perform well during morning exercises, and was forcibly dragged by the teacher to the boiling water room to be burned by hot water.
I believe that many parents see that the roar is not a taste, many parents are also very afraid in their hearts, afraid that their children will also encounter such an accident.
Many times, when parents care about their children, they will ignore the so-called "small things", and in the end, they will lead to tragedies that they do not want to see.
"The child had sent us a distress signal, but we didn't care."
The child's whole body was scalded red with boiling water, and when changing the medicine, he would "snort", and the child's father said: "I regret dying, the child has sent us so many distress signals, but we don't care." ”
It turned out that before this incident occurred, the family found that the child had a black bruise on the thigh, and when the mother asked the child the reason, the child only said that he was "beaten by the teacher", the mother then asked, but the child did not say, and the mother did not put it on the heart.
After experiencing this incident, the contrast between the child
In the days that followed, children often did not want to go to school, and when the mother asked the child the reason for the thigh bruise, she did not investigate too much, resulting in the final failure to prevent the tragedy.
Imagine if parents had taken their children's words to heart and investigated them carefully, would they have been able to prevent this kind of tragedy from happening?
Zhihu has a question: "In terms of educating children, what mistakes have you inadvertently made?" One of the most praised answers: "The biggest mistake I made was to ignore the distress signal from my child." ”
This answer speaks to the voices of many parents and has won the recognition of many netizens. The center of parents is around the child, but because there are too many trivial things in life, parents will often ignore some of the child's "distress signals".
Cases around
The same incident has happened around me, the little girl who is in kindergarten suddenly has a big change of personality, and the little girl who was originally very quiet has become very irritable, and sometimes she will make trouble.
At first, the parents did not rest assured, and then when the parents sorted out the children's school bags, they found that the children's school bags were stuffed with a lot of garbage, and it turned out that the daughter was bullied at school, so that the children's mood changes so much, fortunately, in the end, there was no bad impact.
A high school student, every night at three o'clock will get up to take a cold shower, the mother did not perceive anything wrong, but blindly thought that the child was too tired to study.
In fact, because the learning pressure is too great, do not want to disappoint the parents, they consume themselves excessively, parents finally seriously talk to their sons, after saying their own ideas, the child will of course have great psychological comfort.
If these 2 parents, like the parents of the little boy who were burned above, did not react until the "tragedy" occurred, the "small details, small actions, are the signal of the child's distress" at that time are all sad results in the end.
Therefore, the care and concern of parents is particularly important, and parents should pay attention when the child has abnormalities or the child asks some strange questions.
Dr. Braman, a famous British psychological counselor, said: "Adults go to help children, translate the child's anxiety into words, and the child will get a sense of ease and fear will improve." ”
Children's abnormal behavior is mostly caused by psychological fear and stress, and they will put forward "distress signals" to parents.
Only by observing the child and paying attention to the child's behavior can parents know the problems of the child in time, so as to take appropriate measures to prevent the occurrence of accidents.
When the child has these abnormalities, it is likely that he is sending a "help signal"
Children will appear a little more "contrived" in front of their parents than usual, because children think that they cannot solve things that their parents can solve, and that parents can fully understand themselves.
1, the child's body for no reason bruises, scratches, may be bullied at school.
2, the child does not like to eat, or eat not much, and the duration is relatively long, when sleeping at night suddenly want to accompany the mother, but also unwilling to turn off the lights, this is likely to be frightened.
3, suddenly speaking very little, or temper becomes larger, it is likely to be psychologically traumatized after the performance and the pressure on the bearer is too large.
What should parents do after their child sends a "help signal"?
1. Listen to the facts
Listen to the child's narration in its entirety, and do not question the child in the process, because it will make the child think about it.
For example, if the child says to you, "Mom, I don't like eating lately," and you say, "Do you want to snack again?" before the child finishes speaking. "Then the child has no idea of talking about it."
2. Listen to the feelings
Parents should look at the problem from the perspective of the child, not from the perspective of the adult. Such as "Mom, I find myself very unhappy, as if I am sick," and you" how can it be, Mom sees that you don't have any problems. ”
3. Listen to intentions
Parents must understand what the conversation between the child and themselves really wants to express, and only by doing this can they stop the "tragic" thing from happening to a certain extent.
For example, "Mom, can you sleep with me every day, I want my mother to hold me to sleep," this seems to have no problem, in fact, the child's intention to say this is likely to be "Mom, I am sad and bullied, I am very afraid of myself, I want my mother to accompany me." ”
When the child sends a "help signal", parents should listen to the facts, feelings and intentions, so that they can stop the occurrence of "tragic" things to a certain extent.