1, there are salesmen on the train selling fruit... A dick man asked, "Are there oranges?" The salesman said, "Yes! Di Si asked again: "How can I cut without a knife?"? The salesman said, "Me."

1, there are salesmen on the train selling fruit... A dick man asked, "Are there oranges?" The salesman said, "Yes! Di Si asked again: "How can I cut without a knife?"? The salesman said, "I have!" Di Si asked again, "Don't you ask for money with a knife?" The salesman said, "Don't," Di Si said, "Then you lend me the knife!" "Then gorgeously take out the oranges in the bag."

2, geography has been taught, China's coal production place is Fushun, Liaoning Province, the most iron production is Anshan, Liaoning Province, so Fushun is called China's "coal capital", Anshan is called "iron capital". In one exam, on the dick silk test paper: China's coal is (black), China's iron is (hard). After the test, he also said: How did the teacher come up with such a simple question?

3, when preparing for the college entrance examination, at night to pick the lights of the night battle, the father walked into the room and said: Pay attention to the combination of work and leisure, especially to protect the vision, do not be myopic! Lest you have to be a mason in the future, you will have to look at the hanging line, the brick wall will be built to the standard, and the boss will deduct money! After all, according to your grades, going to college is too realistic. belch......

4. Oval wooden dining table, with cylindrical wooden feet and dark wood materials, giving people a sense of stability and steadfastness. Earthy yellow tatami mats, coupled with wooden storage furniture and traditional chandeliers, the rich Japanese style greets you, luxurious and understated.

5, the master and disciple in elementary school was very naughty, when Zhou Xingchi's "Kung Fu" was released, it was modeled on the axe gang in kung fu in their own primary school to set up a kitchen knife gang, self-appointed helper, it sounds very hanging there is no. The kitchen knife gang was soon discovered by the head teacher, who was called to the office. The class teacher asked, "I won't beat you first, so why I'm called a kitchen knife gang." The dude was in a hurry: "I... I grew up wanting to be a chef. Half of the teachers in the whole office died laughing at their desks.

6. After the college entrance examination, the girlfriend of the second generation of the rich is the provincial champion and is guaranteed to Harvard, and he has to go home to inherit the family property. On the day of school, Fu Er Dai made a necklace for his girlfriend to wear, and the pendant was a cross. The girlfriend suddenly wondered: Why send me this, I am atheistic! Fu Er Dai said lightly: This is not simple, you put it on, others will not know that you have the Lord.

7, night fishing, a fishing friend came to me and chatted with me and asked for a few cigarettes! Fishing friend: "Is the brother also hiding from his wife when he comes out to fish at night?" Displeased, I asked, "How can I see it?" "Fishing friend: "I can guard the reservoir for two days and two nights, and I haven't caught a single fish feather, and I am still insisting, either hiding from debts or hiding from my wife!" "Specially, everyone is a fellow man, why say it so bluntly...

8, a famous master once said such a paragraph, do not panic when encountering anything, drink water to calm down. My girlfriend was convinced of this, and at noon today I took my girlfriend to the river to fish, and I accidentally fell into the water and cried out in panic: "Hurry up and call someone to save me." My girlfriend saw me so panicked and shouted, "Don't panic! Drink your saliva! ”

9, the two brothers always go fishing together, every time the brother always returns with a full load, the younger brother returns empty-handed, once, the younger brother can't bear it, went fishing alone, fished for most of the day, still did not catch one, had to pack up things and prepare to go home, at this time, a big fish jumped out of the water, shouted: "Hey, what about your brother?? ”

10, the second generation of the rich with his girlfriend walking by the lake, often found that there is a big uncle with the most expensive fish food fishing, but found nothing. The girlfriend was curious, so she asked him: You can't catch fish every day, why do you still come to fish every day? The uncle said: I have a retirement salary of more than 10,000, no bad habits, and a few houses, and my wife can't be picky about me! So buy the most expensive fish food to fish, let her nag me, otherwise with her introverted personality, she will be sick!

11, the girl is a northerner, wearing underwear on the sweater, one is to warm up, the other is more convenient when sleeping at night. When I was dating my boyfriend, we went to a fancy restaurant for dinner. The air conditioner was too hot, so I took off my coat... I'll never forget the look in my boyfriend's and the restaurateur's eyes at the time!

12, at night, the street helped an aunt, she said: "Boy, you hit me and lost money." I smiled and said, "There's surveillance here, we can know the facts." However, she smiled and said, "I have investigated, there is no surveillance here." "I kicked her over, lying in the grooves, not monitoring you so crazy."

13, the boss saw that I had a good working attitude and gave me a coupon for Haidilao. After work in the evening, I invited my girlfriend to go to Haidilao to eat hot pot. When the soup was open, I called the waiter over and helped us turn the fire down. After the waiter came over, I was throwing a piece of hot tofu in my mouth, and I grinned at the hot one. The waiter was frightened, took a step back, and looked wary: Beauty, there is something to say, we can't bite people!

14, my cousin sold Wuling Hongguang, who has been open for 20 years, for 110,000 yuan, and he was particularly happy to invite me to the stall to eat barbecue. When ordering, I found that the waiter was particularly beautiful. I couldn't help but tease: "Beauty, I find you look very much like a person!" The waiter asked with a cute face, "Like whom?" Me: "It's like my uncle's niece and daughter-in-law." The cousin was immediately happy, but the waiter girl was dazed. When it was time to check out after eating, I found that the waiter girl looked at me frequently, and she finally reacted to it.