Parents must learn to observe, what are the unreasonable beliefs that often appear in children?
In life, we often find that children will have a lot of bad emotions because of some small things in our eyes, such as anxiety, depression, self-blame, pessimism, etc. In fact, many times it is some unreasonable thoughts that affect emotions. Next, let's take a look at what are the unreasonable beliefs that often appear in children?
First, black and white absolutist thinking, especially preschool children, their psychological development is characterized by self-centeredness, thinking about things completely from their own point of view, and can not do empathetic thinking. Adolescent children are in the stage of self-identity establishment, and they are also prone to some negative emotions. Absolutist thinking, as the name suggests, is that the viewpoint is too extreme, absolutely black and white, and is often manifested as the absoluteization of hope and wanting, should or must wait. Take the example of a child at school, where the same table knocked over his stationery box, he thought to himself.
It must be the same table to retaliate against himself, because the last time he accidentally soiled the book at the same table, it must be revenge, which is an absolute thinking. At this time, we need to guide the child to think about whether there are other possibilities. For example, the table is not careful, or he may want to make a joke with himself, reduce the child's negative view of things, and pass on the child's positive, positive thinking.
Second, the terrible revival thinking. This perception is that if something bad happens, it will be very scary, very bad, or even a disaster, and often overestimate the serious consequences of a bad thing. When something terrible happens, you fall into an extremely rejuvenating emotional experience. Pessimistic children are more likely to have terrible revision thinking.
For example, if you don't do well in an exam, you think in your heart, everything is over, you will definitely not be able to enter the ideal high school and university, and there will be no good future. This kind of terrible revival thinking, it is easy for children to fall into a depressed mood of loss, encounter a bad thing, we must guide children to jump out of the bad, refer to the good side of thinking.
Third, think in a generalized way. When you take a partial generalization, you arbitrarily think that if something happens to you once, then it will happen again and again. For example, after suffering a failure, some people will think that they will fail in everything they do, and they are useless and worthless. On the other hand, it is also manifested as a reaction to the evaluation of others. If you do something for the first time and are denied by others, you will feel that you can't do anything well and achieve nothing.
This kind of one-sided self-denial often leads to bad emotions such as inferiority and self-abandonment, self-retreat, and self-blame. We should teach our children to look at their poor academic performance holistically, but it is possible that they are good at sports or are very good at dealing with people, and these are all good qualities in us. These irrational beliefs and thoughts often lead to inappropriate emotional and behavioral responses.
Message: To help the child to manage emotions, we must first help the child find out the incompatibility lurking in his brain, and plant some seeds for the child to look at.