In order to better adapt their children to school life and the current social situation, parents desperately cultivate their independence. The original intention is very simple, that is, I hope that children will adapt to the "cruelty of society" as early as possible, and in the future life, they can have the ability to be independent.
Under the patience of parents, the child's inner independence is slowly stimulated. However, this independence has many uncertain factors, and even hidden harm. Many children fall into "pseudo-independence", obviously not mature enough in their hearts, but in order to meet the requirements of their parents, they desperately "wronged" themselves.
This kind of independence is completely superficial and used to cope with parents. It is said that the growth of all things is regular, and the growth of children is the same, and the psychological and behavioral performance of each age is different. Parents demand independence excessively, and children need to do things that do not match their own abilities, and the harm can be imagined.
Please learn to properly cultivate your child's independence and don't let the harm spread
First move: free your hands and exit appropriately
The habit of independence is not formed overnight, and requires the joint efforts and cooperation of children and parents. What parents have to do is to learn to withdraw appropriately, and at the right age for their children, give them the right to choose. The simplest things start with eating, dressing, and walking on your own.
Many times, it is not that the child wants to rely on the parents, but that the parents cannot let go of the children. Under the pretext of "young age" and "care", if he takes care of all the trivial matters of his child's life, he will never learn to be independent.
The second trick: respect curiosity and stimulate the desire to explore
On the road to growth, the occasional mistake and injury are things that cannot be avoided. As a parent, you should respect your child's curiosity and let him explore more, even if you make a mistake or get hurt, it is a kind of growth and accumulation. These mistakes will be the cornerstone of the next success.
Children who are too well protected are really like flowers in the greenhouse, their endurance will be particularly poor, and a little wind and rain may make children feel timid.
The third trick: teach the right to choose, the right to guide
It is said that teaching by example is the best way to educate, and the way parents look in life is an example for children to learn. Just teach them the correct three views, as well as good life, study habits, and the rest of the things, let the child try it alone.
In the step-by-step process, the child's ability will be greatly improved and exercised. I always believe that the attitude of parents in education is what their children will look like in society in the future.
Summary: Accept your child's mediocrity and imperfection, and don't let "pseudo-independence" ruin their health. Children like things, do not make too many rules to limit them, do not preach and punish failure, I believe that soon can really grow up and become independent.