Parents often complain:
"Children do homework to be guarded by adults, the computer plays all day, sleep, eat, go to school have to be urged, in short, big things and small things, have to be watched by adults, otherwise, don't expect him to do a good job." 」
In fact, these are all manifestations of children's lack of self-control.
Not only children can't control themselves, but adults are the same:
"When you wake up early, tell yourself: Count down thirty seconds, and when you're done counting, you'll bounce up." However, I fell asleep when I counted to 15..." "After writing this passage, I divided it three times, and brushed the circle of friends and ate snacks in the middle. "If you want to lose weight, you can't control your mouth; you want to exercise, you can't open your legs, you want to go to bed early, or you lie in bed and brush your phone...
We all know that self-control embodied in self-discipline is an important quality that a person who achieves higher achievements will have, and it will determine whether a person's future studies and even his life are successful and happy.
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How important is self-discipline?
Apple founder Steve Jobs said, "Where does freedom come from?" It comes from self-confidence, and self-confidence comes from self-discipline. ”
Self-discipline is self-confidence, and self-confidence is freedom. Joe helps the owner get up at four o'clock every day and finish the work before nine o'clock, and it is his strong self-discipline that makes Apple create a new era of smart phones.
M. Scott Pike wrote in The Few Ways: "Self-discipline is the main tool for solving life's problems, and the most important way to eliminate life's pain." ”
Yu Minhong also said: "Without self-management, life is difficult to become better." ”
The height of everyone's life is closely related to self-discipline.
However, for most children, self-discipline is a scarce commodity.
They often do things in a twilight manner, think of what to do, there is no planning, and often do things halfway and do not do, can not have a beginning and an end, which is actually very detrimental to the growth of children.
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Self-disciplined children are better
For children, self-discipline and concentration are equally important, without good self-control, self-management ability, it is difficult to complete their own goals.
There is a particularly famous marshmallow experiment in psychology, in which 4-year-olds stay in a room and tell them that marshmallows can be eaten at any time, but if they wait until the experimenters come back, they can get more marshmallows.
At the beginning of the experiment, some children immediately ate it in large bites; some insisted on it for a while, and finally did not hold back; some children continued to divert their attention by singing and talking to themselves, and persisted to the end, getting more marshmallows.
After the experiment, the follow-up survey of these children found that the children who could persist were obviously better than other children, more popular, more paid and so on.
And those children who eat marshmallows immediately have poor relationships, are not good at coping with stress, and have insufficient concentration...
Self-disciplined people have their own happiness, and people who are not self-disciplined suffer much the same.
Everyone has inertia, children are no exception, in the morning want to lie in bed, see toys want to eat, like to play do not want to write homework ... And they talk about self-discipline, it seems hard.
However, this does not mean that parents can ignore their children's self-discipline. Children who are not born with self-discipline need to be nurtured by their parents from an early age.
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A few suggestions for cultivating your child's self-discipline
1. Help your child find something of interest
What is self-discipline? In layman's terms, it is a kind of self-control, that is, to restrain the impulse to do something.
Think about how we as adults control impulses and become self-disciplined. To give an example that mothers all have a deep understanding of. We all had the urge to buy clothes, and many mothers said that they couldn't restrain themselves before, and with children, it was strange that this impulse dropped a lot.
This actually shows that people's endurance is limited, and motivation is the key to self-discipline.
With the heart of loving children, knowing that you want to save money and raise children, the motivation is strong, and self-control is not difficult to do.
Interest will make a person aware of the temptation to resist play, realize the pity of wasting time; interest will also make a person willing to make a plan, willing to firmly implement, because he knows that this will bring him closer and closer to the future he loves.
2. Help your child recognize and manage time
On the opposite side of self-discipline, there is a word called procrastination:
"Homework is turned in on Monday, I will finish it tomorrow night" "My parents have not urged, I will play more mobile phones" "It's okay, sleep again, school should not be late" "Anyway, not urgent..."
In the eyes of adults, children often have a subjective procrastination phenomenon, always postponing what should be done, appearing to be procrastinating.
Cultivating children's self-discipline requires guiding children to develop good habits of effectively managing time and using time efficiently.
Parents can first teach their children to follow a time plan to do things and make a schedule for their children.
For example, when a child does something that he is not willing to do, let the child give himself a time to complete, and tell him that after doing it within this specified time, the rest of the time can be freely disposed of.
Stimulate children's enthusiasm and initiative, and cultivate good time management skills.
3. Help children develop a sense of compliance
Setting up a reasonable rule in everything is an important beginning for cultivating a sense of rules.
What are the rules? It is the rules of doing things and the code of conduct that people follow. The state has the national law, and the family has the family rules.
Scrambling without rules will cause chaos in society, and if you want your child to be self-disciplined, you must also teach him to learn to follow the rules.
Today's children want what their parents give, if they are satisfied, they will become unable to control themselves, so usually in the details of life, they must consciously cultivate the virtue of self-discipline of children.
For example, I don't allow my children to eat too many sweets, only set certain special festivals to taste some sweets; snacks are almost not stacked to buy home, but go to the supermarket once a week, and agree to buy only two things at a time... In this way, the son showed good self-discipline at a very young age.
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The root of a child's self-discipline lies in the parents
A parent who knows how to discipline can raise a truly self-conscious child. On the road of self-discipline, parents must first set a good example. It can even be said to be an ascetic, because the path of self-discipline requires courage and determination.
I remember once, I turned on the TV in the morning to watch a show, and my son ran over and asked, "Daddy, why do you watch TV in the morning?" ”
"Oh! There is a very important thing on TV today, Dad wants to watch it, and it will be turned off after a while. “
Later, I tried to avoid watching TV for the time we set. Because you can't do it yourself, don't ask your children to do it.
Some people will ask, "Do I have to give up on myself for the sake of my children?" “
I just want to answer: "Being a parent is not to ask you to give up on yourself, but to give up a lot of bad selves." Because parents are not a title, but a responsibility. ”
After all, no matter how good the educational concept is, it can't stand up to the two words "teaching by example".
So, parents who are addicted to mahjong every day, or go home with their mobile phones to play games, don't blame their children for not studying hard, because your own chaotic life can't give your children enough attention and the power of example.
Remember: self-disciplined parents, children will not be bad.
On this road, watch each other, grow together, and become better and better.