Recently, I was too caught up in the "Baala Energy" CP in "Semi-Familiar Lovers".
In order to have a chance to go out alone with Lola, Wang Nengneng took the initiative to arrange for people to buy vegetables and cook, and invited Lola to buy vegetables together tomorrow. Even if the fifth woman clearly said that she wanted to buy vegetables with Wang Nengneng and the two of them, Wang Nengneng still had to bring Lola.
At this time, Nengge's thoughts were probably: even if it is a threesome, as long as there is you.
What surprises me even more is that when guests meet the object of their own good feelings, they will not engage in ambiguity, but will express it very directly, invite each other to date, and create opportunities to chat with good people.
In this way, there is less twisting and uneasiness at the age of twenty, and more maturity and self after the age of thirty.
Some people say: After thirty years, love is no longer love, pure, romantic, hot, reckless, those who once had a heartbeat will slowly fade, replaced by temptation, is decent, is the rationality and measure under reality, life is half ripe, happiness is half ripe.
Can an adult in his thirties still find the best state of love?
Of course, even after the age of thirty, we will still be thrilled, but this heartbeat is no longer blind, more to see the state of two people getting along.
After all, the emotionally stable object, the door to each other, coupled with the right distance between the two sides, so that we can talk about a most comfortable love.
01
Emotionally stable partners can bring each other a more mature love experience
In "The Golden Years", when Tang Xin knew that Li Yifan wanted to pursue Jiang Nansun, he said to her: "I know so many people, li Yifan is the most emotionally stable man. You'll definitely know later how important it is for a woman to have an emotionally stable man and how important it is for a man to have a sense of security. ”
In love, emotional stability means that there is more rational thinking, there will be no trouble, tantrums, when encountering things, the first time to analyze the problem, solve the problem, rather than hysterical quarrels.
I was particularly surprised when my friend and I said she broke up, and her boyfriend was considered a great man in our eyes.
When a friend says he is hungry, he will cook and send it to the friend's company; when the friend is tired, he will intimately adjust the massage chair to her most comfortable mode; when we go shopping together, he is a walking "hanger" and will buy our favorite milk tea in advance.
I asked her why she broke up, and she said, "You don't know how terrible it was for him to get angry, that day just because I dropped one of his favorite gamepads, he yelled at me for half an hour, and God knows how scared I was at that moment when he rushed up and hit me." ”
Although he apologized to her later, feeling that he should not be so impulsive, she was really frightened by his irritability at that moment.
Yes, a small thing can provoke him to be like a changed person, who dares to guarantee that there will be no "lesions" after marriage?
After all, it is not easy to fall in love, and you still need to do it and see.
Some people say that the so-called love is that there is a person who can control your emotions, one moment makes you cry, the next moment makes you laugh.
But I want to say that comfortable love is that there is such a person who can control his emotions, make you laugh one moment, and make you laugh wantonly the next moment.
Falling in love with emotionally stable people, why not add a little sweetness to life?
02
It is more comfortable to talk about the feelings of the door
Before, friends chatted with Guo Degang and asked him how to look at "door to door", at that time he also felt that as long as the two people are good, it doesn't matter if the door is improper, the door is right or not, but later, he feels more and more that the door is right.
He said: "The son of the world's richest man married a girl who said cross-talk in Tianjin, the two families can sit together but can't say one, the man thinks about how to buy several countries, and the woman thinks about how to pack today's leftovers." Thirty-three heavens, one heaven and one realm, are not in their place, and you will not understand this state. ”
Indeed, when two people's educational backgrounds, three views, and incomes are equal, it is easier to get along at first glance and stay together for a long time.
While liking is important, it's even more important to be right. Because the like will be chami oil salt sauce vinegar tea grinding off, the door to the household can be more fine water long flow.
Qian Zhongshu and Yang Dai met at Tsinghua, they were equally talented, and they married directly three years later.
Once, Yang Dai read the most ideal marriage summed up by a British biographer: I had never thought of getting married before I met her; I had been married to her for decades, and I never regretted it, nor did I want to marry another woman.
Qian Zhongshu, who was on the side, immediately said that I was the same as him. Yang Dai said: I am the same.
If a look and a word can understand what the other person wants to express, then how can two people who commit to each other hurt each other's love because of trivialities?
The two people who are at the right door are more likely to fit the three views and be evenly matched, and it is easier to hold the hand of the son and grow old with the son.
03
Proper distance can bring each other closer together
Modern poet Huang Ying said: Distance produces beauty.
Today, I realize the social reality hidden by this sentence.
There is a couple in Ukraine who handcuffed each other on February 14 in order to save their love for each other, and they want to make each other love each other more through zero-distance contact between eating, drinking and sleeping.
It is ironic that after they cut the handcuffs on the 123rd day, the two cheered and broke up quickly.
The two admit that the lack of space and privacy has made them lose their thoughts about feelings and marriage.
Probably think about it, you can understand that no one can accept a person appearing in front of you 24 hours a day, not to mention the self-evident embarrassing scene of going to the bathroom.
The zero distance between couples sounds happy, but who can think that behind the zero distance, there is actually no privacy at all?
Economist Xue Zhaofeng bluntly said in "Semi-Familiar Lovers" that he and his wife are working at home at a certain distance, and in the gap between offices, the professor will go to his wife, hug her, talk to her, and then the two continue to separate, each busy with their own work.
After reading Professor Xue's story, I suddenly remembered that sentence:
The best love is to love each other but not to affect being yourself.
Although there is a distance, love is increasing.
After all, curiosity is the highest level of attraction.
As Shu Ting wrote in "To the Oak Tree": "It seems to be separated forever, but they are dependent on each other for life." ”
Maintaining a suitable distance in the relationship, this appropriate sense of proportion can make two people who love each other both flow love and breathe freely.
Childish love is impulsive, controlled, uneasy, and even a little selfish, more to turn each other into a vassal.
Mature love wants a more comfortable state.
They pay attention to the door-to-door pair, and need to understand and tolerate each other;
They pay attention to emotional stability, have seen so many landscapes, and no longer need to waste time;
They need personal space because they know that the right distance allows love to give each other more generosity and freedom.
I've seen a lot of gaffes, they're hysterical, they have demons that want to destroy everything; but I've also seen more mature relationships, they're sane and cute, and they have the mentality of being tolerant and understanding of each other.
Mature love makes people feel comfortable, and out of shape love makes people walk into the abyss.
So, honey, please talk about a love that makes you comfortable! There is a just right guy who is waiting for you.
Author: Ding Yi, a young woman who loves to paint and write.