Once, I was shopping at a supermarket with my daughter, and when we were about to finish our shopping plans, a loud cry suddenly attracted the attention of many customers.
It was a four- or five-year-old boy and his mother, the boy took the chocolate candy on the shelf, was snatched by his mother, and put it back in place. The boy immediately lay on the ground and cried loudly.
The boy's mother didn't compromise, pushing the shopping cart while shouting, "You lie here, I don't want you!" Then she began to stride forward, with a menacing look.
The boy watched his mother walk away, and instead of getting up, he tried to call his mother back with a sharper voice. In the end, a tally man intervened to lead the boy back to his mother.
"This kid is really hard to manage now," many customers around him said. But has anyone thought about it in terms of the way mothers educate their children? This mother's way of educating is not right.
When the child does something wrong, she seems to be very strict, but it does not have any educational effect, and she also uses bad emotions against her son. Perhaps, it is because the mother uses this method of treatment again and again that the child has learned to lose his temper.
In every child with problems, the root cause of the problem of family education can be found. Now many parents say that the child is not easy to manage, parents are afraid to say big words, do not know which sentence is not right, it will detonate the child's emotions out of control, and you come to a lightning and thunderous cry.
Children do not know how to control their emotions, and when they grow up, they may become people with low emotional intelligence, which will also affect future development. In fact, it is inseparable from the parents' education method. Such children who lose their temper and do not control their emotions generally grow up in such a family.
Families where parents dote on their children, and children love to lose their temper even more
Children are the treasure in the palms of their parents' hands, and many parents have the purpose of raising their children that they cannot let their children suffer a little grievance. Parents always follow the child, to meet all the requirements of the child, must not be able to do, for example, the child crosses the road to run a red light, we can not look at him is in danger of life.
Usually, the child's requirements are always satisfied nine times out of ten, when the parents do not follow the child's wishes, the child will feel that he has been greatly wronged, and his emotions will collapse. Coddled and without a sense of rules, such children's ability to control emotions is often the worst.
Families whose parents love to lose their temper, children will also learn to follow.
There was an adult mother, of course, she used to be a child, because her mother had a bad temper and always beat and scolded herself. When she had a child, she swore that she would never lose her temper with the child.
But when the child plays with the water and wets all the clothes, she picks up the child and slaps it twice. When the child was grinding and rubbing and unwilling to write homework, she also picked up the child's homework book and tore it to pieces. Gradually, she found herself becoming a mother like a mother. Sometimes, when you want to talk to your child well, an accent is raised by an octave, and the emotion of dissatisfaction is revealed.
Children's emotional control ability needs to be learned and exercised. His parents were his first teachers. If you are a person whose emotions are often out of control, when your child sees you doing things like this, he will definitely learn.
A person's greatest success is not to defeat others, but to control themselves well. To train children to learn to control their emotions, we parents should be the "fire extinguisher" of children's emotions.
I. Parents should communicate with their children more and understand the true thoughts of their children.
Many parents find their children sometimes incomprehensible, and their ideas are strange and crazy. Children's world is different from adults', and of course, their ideas are very different. If you find that your child does not want to get up in the morning, perhaps he does not want to get up, but does not want to leave his mother for kindergarten.
At this time, it is better to comfort the child's heart than to criticize the child's handling method. We understand the child's inner thoughts, in order to better channel the child's emotions and work with him to remove the bad emotions.
II. Parents teach their children to express their emotions in the right way.
The child loses his temper because he has bad emotions in his body, and he cannot use language and body movements to express it, so he can only lose his temper. Everyone has a bad mood, we must teach children to correctly understand negative emotions, but also in an appropriate way to express their emotions.
For example, when a child's toy is broken and unhappy, we can let him hug his parents for a while and digest his sadness. When you are not happy, you can tell your mother what kind of difficulties you have encountered.
III. Parents accompany their children, help their children to make rules, and give children a sense of security and rule awareness.
The more insecure people are, the more they love to lose their temper, as if they have a bad temper and can protect themselves. The more children who have no sense of rules, they will use tantrums as a "magic weapon" to win. Therefore, parents should accompany their children more, so that children have a sense of security from an early age, and we must also use rules to restrain children's behavior, so that rules can enter his heart to control his words and deeds.
Early childhood is a critical period for the cultivation of children's personality, we must seize the opportunity, do not miss it.