Are you still saying "you're awesome" to your kids? Such a general praise is very harmful to children, and parents should pay attention to it.
1. Stifle your child's thinking
Children who are often praised as "you are awesome" will develop a "fixed mindset", and they will only focus on the things that can be easily successful.
2. No sense of responsibility
Some parents like to use praise to make deals with their children, and over time the children will form an inertia. Learning in the child's heart has become a matter for parents and teachers, and has nothing to do with themselves. When a child suffers a setback, he will not think that it is his own fault, but will only think that it is the responsibility of others that caused his failure.
3. Cause the child to escape from difficulties
In the face of a little success of the child, the parents casually come "you are awesome". Excessive praise makes the child withdraw from the difficulty, and he is bent on getting praise and does not dare to do challenging things.
How exactly should a child boast?
1. Sincere attitude
"You are great" is the way parents perfunctorily praise their children, really want to praise their children well, the most important thing is our attitude. You can seriously take out one thing of the child, analyze it carefully, and then praise the child.
2. Praise to the point
If you think about it, when we do something wrong in our children, we can criticize the head, it is simply to criticize the details. But when praising the child, it is only a hasty "you are awesome" to pass, which will make the child feel that punishment and praise are not equal.
3. Praise your child's process
Results sometimes don't represent everything, and valuing results negates the child's efforts, which is unfair to the child. Especially after the child enters the school, both the school and the parents measure the child by the score. In fact, focusing only on grades and ignoring the process is an easy way to lose the joy of learning and curiosity itself.
4. Praise your child's courage to do things
The famous Japanese philosopher and psychologist Kishimi Ichiro believes that courage is the most important thing in life. We will always encounter many difficulties, and there will be things that frighten us. And only courage will make us no longer afraid, but also think about how to solve the problem.
5. Praise should be timely
Li Meijin said: "The best time to educate children is never when children do wrong, but when children do the right thing. "Praising the child immediately can not only deepen the impression of the child, but also make the child feel that the parents are always paying attention to themselves and bringing the relationship with the child closer."
6. Don't skimp on praise
Modesty is the characteristic of our Chinese, but such a modest education has become a "drawback" when applied to children. Praising other people's children is not stingy, but putting it on their own children is a brush stroke. In fact, children need the most approval from their parents.
Proper praise will increase a child's self-confidence, so how to praise the child correctly is a skill that every parent should learn.