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With the development of society, family education is increasingly testing the educational wisdom of parents. What exactly should homeschooling do? How? This question has actually been answered thousands of years ago.
In this issue of "Family Education Experts Say", Yang Shuya, principal of Xincheng Primary School of Nanshifu Middle School, led parents and friends into the "Analects" together to draw the wisdom of parents from the "Analects".
Experts in this issue
The Analects are a great book, a "Bible" Chinese, and a book worth reading for a lifetime. It not only has a profound impact on our country's literature and philosophy, but also has a huge role in promoting education and ethics.
Story 1:
Once, Zigong asked Confucius, "Whoever has a word that can be practiced for life?" Originally, Zigong asked the teacher, "Teacher, is there a word that I can follow all my life?" Confucius pondered a little and replied, "His grievances! Do not do to others what you do not want. Confucius replied, "That is forgiveness!" If I am reluctant to impose it on myself, I will stop trying to impose it on others. ”
Thinking: In life, it is not difficult for us to find that many parents care about their children's learning, and they want to realize the "regrets" of their lives through their children, for their own face. Children are not used to redeem the lives of parents! "Do not do to others what you do not want." In the face of children, we first need to have such a mentality.
Story 2:
Confucius had an apprentice named Zaiyu. Once, when Zaiyu was sleeping in the daytime, Confucius was very angry and said a word: "Rotten wood cannot be carved, and the wall of dung and soil cannot be carved!" Yu Yu and What curse? "What did Confucius mean?" Rotten wood cannot be carved, and the walls made of dirty soil cannot be smeared! What do I have to blame for someone like Zaiyu? Even a saint like Confucius could not help but have difficulty controlling his emotions and negatively evaluating his students.
Thoughts: Confucius had three thousand disciples, only seventy-two sages. In life, not every child is a genius, and "other people's children" are only a minority after all. In the face of children who may sometimes make mistakes one after another, we will also say nothing. In fact, more serious than physical injury is "speech injury". In the face of growing children, how do we maintain a mentality and be gentle? How do we weather the storm and insist on encouragement? It's really an art.
In fact, life growth is a slow process, and education is a long-term work. A good education should make people quiet, let people be quiet, let people have light in their eyes, and let people's hearts open. Good parents are not only the companions of their children's learning and life, but also the builders - while accompanying their children to learn, they should build a healthy learning life for their children. To borrow a few words from the Analects, I would like to talk to parents about two topics in family education: learning community and growing circle of friends.
A child's learning cannot become a "one-man battle" behind closed doors every night. As a parent, we should strive to build a "community" and a "circle of friends" for our children's learning. In this "community", there are not only static books, but also fresh life; in this "circle of friends", it is not only necessary to have children who have grown up, but also "children" who have grown up.
#1
Parents are the chief
Confucius said: His body is upright, and he does not act according to orders; his body is not right, although he does not obey orders. This sentence Confucius was originally used to manage. However, it is also appropriate to extend to education. Parents are a child's first teacher. Today's you are the child's tomorrow. In the child's learning community, the parent should be the chief. Good parents, not to reason with their children, but to learn with their children. Asking children to read, first of all, we must be a reader ourselves.
#2
Partners are resources
A young mother walks on the road with her three-year-old child. Accidentally, the three-year-old fell and fell to the ground and cried. At this point, if you were the mother, what would you do? Some mothers will run over in pain and help them up; they do not rule out the existence of "wolf mothers", standing next to them, waiting for the children to get up on their own. How did this story come about? At this moment, a seven- or eight-year-old girl ran over and fell in the same position where the three-year-old girl fell. However, instead of crying, she slowly got up, dusted the dust off her pants, and let out a silver bell-like laugh. The three-year-old girl, seeing the little sister who was also wrestling, immediately stopped crying, got up, dusted the dust off her pants, and smiled.
Confucius said: "See the wise and think together, see the unwise and introspect yourself." This means that whoever sees the virtuous will think of looking up to him, and the unvirtuous shall reflect on himself. Confucius also said: "If you do three people, you will have my teacher; choose those who are good and follow them, and those who are not good will change them." Smart parents will be good at helping their children, and even cooperate with teachers to establish a healthy "circle of friends" for their children and let their children learn with their partners.
In fact, every life should not be an island. In the process of learning, the companions can not only be mobile phones and electronic products; living space cannot just see the campus and the cramped study room with four corners of the sky. A good study life is a "circle of friends". As a parent, we must strive to open the door of their children's lives and the door of their hearts, help their children create a healthy circle of friends, let children learn to get along in the circle of friends, learn to tolerate, learn to recommend themselves, and learn to see the wise and think together.
Confucius said, "Virtue is not alone, but there will be neighbors." "Moral people will not be alone, and there will be like-minded people to be his partners." We must guide our children to make more friends, and strive to change their two-point and one-line learning life, so that they "have scenery on the way to school" and "there are stories in the learning process".
#3
It is the center of the circle
A good learning community, where students always stand in the center, is the "center" of the community and the circle of friends. All resources, partners, and adults should surround learners to help, demonstrate, enlighten, and lead students to learn better. As the center of the community, we must not only use living resources to learn from our neighbors; we must also be good at self-examination and learn from ourselves. So Confucius said: I am in three provinces and in my body, and I am not loyal to others? Friends and not convinced? Pass it on without getting used to it? A good learner must be a good self-revolutionary. As a parent, in the process of guiding students to learn from themselves, they should also appropriately grasp the direction to gradually improve students' learning ability.
Confucius said, "Those who know are not as good as those who are good, and those who are good are not as good as those who are happy." "People who know how to learn are not as good as people who love to learn; people who love to learn are not as good as people who take pleasure in it." We must strive to make our children go from the "knower" of learning to the "good" and even become the "happy one".
Confucius said: "To learn without thinking is to be reckless, and to think without learning is to perish." "To read a book without thinking deeply is to be ignorant; to think only of a dream without reading a book is to produce doubts." With the increase of grade, we must not only pay attention to students' memory and comprehension, but also pay attention to students' critical thinking.
For example, Yan Hui was Confucius's most proud disciple. Once, Confucius said, "I will not contradict my words all the time, and I will not be foolish." It is enough to withdraw and save its selfishness, and it is not foolish to return. What does Confucius mean by this? Originally, Confucius found that when he usually lectured, Yan Hui never questioned the difficulty or raised objections, which seemed a bit dull. As a result, Confucius examined Yan Hui's private life after school, but found that Yan Hui was inspired by what he taught and discussed with his classmates. Confucius believed that Yan Hui was deep and deep, and his wisdom was like foolishness. This story tells us that every child is a different existence, and being able to speak and speak eloquently is not the only expression of excellent students. We must tolerate and accept the quiet learning process of those "inner show" children.
Expert tips
Confucius and the Analects take a lifetime to read. Today, we need to train today's children to adapt to the development of future society, and it is still worth reading back the Analects, reading back to Confucius, from which we gradually understand the true meaning of education and draw the wisdom of parenting as parents in the new era.
Next issue is coming soon
Children can watch cartoons for two hours in one breath, but they can't learn; they can't listen to lectures for 10 minutes and start to wander, and writing homework is more like looking at this, and they will touch that... What are these situations? At 7 p.m. on Wednesday, Teacher Song Yan of Nanjing Sunflower Family Education Guidance Center will teach parents and friends how to cultivate their children's concentration from thousands of times of experience in their own family education guidance, so stay tuned!
"Family Education Experts Say"
This special topic "Ning Jie 137 Air Classroom" family education course has a total of 40 sessions throughout the year, covering all aspects of the theme including quality, physical and mental health, parent-child communication, protection of minors, academic guidance, parental literacy and so on. The curriculum will help parents and children establish a correct family concept in the following aspects, reconstruct family education in the new era, and enhance a good parent-child relationship:
1. The responsibility and concept of family education, and comprehensively improve the ability and literacy of new parents;
2. Parent-child communication methods and skills of different ages, accurately perceive and recognize the physical and psychological characteristics of children at different stages, and guide parents to cultivate children's self-control, emotional management, moral character, etc.;
3. Strengthen the ability of parents to improve their children's academic guidance, guide parents to correctly stimulate their children's interest in learning, cultivate correct learning motivation, clarify learning tasks and learning methods at different stages, and cope with learning difficulties; understand the school culture and master the methods of communication with teachers;
4. Start from brain science, strengthen brain cognition, understand individual brain function cognition and training methods.
Acknowledgements for this issue:
Xincheng Primary School, Affiliated Middle School of Nanjing Normal University
Past Acknowledgements:
Shihu Central Primary School, Lishui District, Nanjing
Nanjing Normal University
Nanjing Kerui Primary School
Nanjing Fangcaoyuan Primary School
China Family News , Parent School " Family Education Research Institute
Nanjing Yuhuawai Chinese Primary School
Hohai University
Nanjing Jinling Middle School Hexi Branch
Nanjing Xiaoying Primary School
The First Experimental Primary School of Nanjing Xiaozhuang College
Nanjing Art Education Research Institute
Nanjing Zhiyuan Junior High School
Nanjing Youfu West Street Primary School
Dandelion Youth Emergency Service Center
Nanjing Taiping Lane Kindergarten