(Note: For more information, please pay attention to the reading notes of the public account Fanghua 1982.) Code words are not easy, if you need to reprint, please indicate the source. ）
Mainland China's Law on the Protection of Minors defines minors as citizens under the age of 18. Minors, according to age, can be divided into: infant stage (0-1 years old), early childhood stage (2-3 years old), preschool stage (4-5 years old), school age stage (6-12 years old), adolescent stage (13-18 years old). Children's growth and development are rapid, the characteristics presented at different stages are different, and the physical growth and development and social and psychological development have a certain sequence and imbalance, so it is necessary to pay attention to the individual differences of children, the differentiation and complementarity of physical and mental development.
The development of children involves the process of physical weakness to strength, intelligence from low to high, mental personality from scratch, and behavior from immaturity to maturity, which requires different aspects of care, guidance, support and protection to complete.
As a special stage in life, children have multidimensional needs. Adults as guardians often focus on the survival needs and protection needs of children, ignoring the needs of development and socialization.
1. Survival needs
It includes two aspects, the need for the existence of life and the need for social existence. The former such as parenting care, medical care, the latter such as the acquisition of social status, name, household registration and so on. These are obligations and responsibilities for parents as guardians. If there are indeed difficulties in this regard, and the child cannot be guaranteed to obtain basic living conditions in the process of growing up, you can seek help from relevant departments to link the policy resources that are in line.
At present, the relevant policies mainly include: orphan life security policy, national minimum living security policy, subsidy for the disabled, medical assistance for serious illness, special difficulty assistance, education assistance allowance, etc. Eligible families can apply to improve their family's financial situation.
In addition, if you need employment as a guardian to improve your family's situation, you can apply for employment assistance.
2. The need to be protected
Avoid all abuse, neglect and exploitation of children.
Child abuse includes physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual abuse (in this regard, with the development of the Internet, the fermentation of some vicious events, many parents, especially parents of girls, are paying more and more attention. ）
Child neglect includes neglect of children's physical health needs, neglect of educational needs in the development process, and neglect of social development needs.
Child exploitation includes labour exploitation in the form of child labour and exploitation in commercial sexual activities.
The following focuses on development needs and socialization needs. If the concept of "socialization" is unclear, you can refer to my previous article.
3. Development needs
Children's development needs, also known as children's growth needs, refer to the love, education and guidance that children need to obtain for physical and mental development.
Mainly including:
Obtain a good family life, get the love and proper discipline of parents, and establish a good parent-child relationship with parents;
Have the opportunity to be educated, have a good educational and learning environment, and satisfy their curiosity to explore and recognize the world;
Access to adequate leisure and recreation, with safe and child-friendly recreation venues, provides instruction and training for children to form good recreational attitudes, ways and behaviors.
4. The need for socialization
The socialization of children is the process of children gradually understanding society and mastering survival skills, and is the first step in the process of human socialization. It requires children to acquire abilities and ways of behaving in language, thinking, and emotion through personal and social interactions in the process of growing up.
Mainly reflected in:
(b) Develop children's basic life skills to equip them with the first forms of human development, such as eating, dressing, personal hygiene, verbal expression, etc.;
Promote the development of the child's self-concept so that the child can distinguish between the self and the non-self;
Enable children to develop good living habits, gradually know how to restrain their own behavior, and adjust the relationship between individuals and individuals, as well as between individuals and families, schools, society and other aspects;
Cultivate good moral character so that children gradually adapt to social norms and have social morality;
Cultivate social roles so that children continue to play appropriate gender roles, game roles, school roles and social roles as they age.
When children's needs are not met, problems arise.
1. Survival issues
Neonatal health problems, mainly neonatal defects. In order to have a healthy child, expectant parents should pay attention to the maternal and infant health care before the birth of the child: premarital health care services, including premarital health guidance, premarital medical examinations, etc.; maternal and childbirth health care services, including maternal and infant health care guidance, maternal health care, fetal health care, newborn health care, etc.
Children's nutrition problems are mainly stunting of children in poor areas, and children in urban areas are not well nourished or overnutrition.
The caregiver should have basic scientific parenting knowledge and concepts.
For example, early infant feeding concepts, including advocating breastfeeding, how to add complementary foods in early infants and young children, etc.;
For example, an understanding of the fundamental rights of the child and the modern conception of the child, as well as knowledge of the physical, psychological personality and social behavioural development of the child;
For example, the caregiver should have scientific parenting skills, know how to observe, compose and guide in the process of parenting.
2. Development issues
Poverty includes economic and material deprivation, and child poverty can also lead to a lack of effective adult companionship, a lack of emotional response, a lack of health care, a lack of role models, etc. (which is also what left-behind children need most today).
Among them, economic and material deprivation belongs to the explicit embodiment of poverty, which is easy to be perceived; the lack of companionship and emotional response is a hidden manifestation of poverty, and it is often ignored, which is easy to cause the root cause of "problem children".
Dropout problem.
3. Child protection issues
These include abandonment, corporal punishment and physical abuse, sexual assault, neglect, abduction, etc. It focuses on the problems of family guardianship, mainly including insufficient guardianship, improper guardianship and lack of guardianship.
Inadequate custody can lead to children at risk of neglect, which is more likely to occur in poor and single-parent households;
Improper custody can put children at risk of abuse, such as emotional abuse, physical abuse, too harsh or spoiled, domestic violence, etc.;
Lack of guardianship can lead to the risk of neglect and harm from others, and it is more likely to appear in families where parents are serving sentences, drug addiction, going out to work, etc. who are not around their children.
Focus on child protection. Injuries include abuse, neglect, violence, exploitation, etc.
First of all, we must prevent, as a guardian, we must timely discover risks that are not conducive to the safe and healthy growth of children, and take measures to eliminate and improve the risk situation to ensure the safety of children.
Second, for children who have been or are being harmed, case reporting should be made in a timely manner. The main forms of reporting include telephone hotlines, designated mailboxes, special reporting boxes, WeChat public accounts, etc. Case handling includes case confirmation, assessment of children's situation, emotional reassurance, emergency shelter, assessment and disposal of family guardianship, etc., and the corresponding institution is the State-run Center for the Protection of Minors. As a whistleblower, pay attention to the emotional reassurance of children, and safety first, and if necessary, be sure to seek emergency shelter.
For children who have been violated, in order for them to recover and return to normal life, there should also be physical rehabilitation, emotional counselling, legal aid and other services. The environment for rehabilitation is mainly the family of origin and child welfare institutions (alternative national care system).
If the assessment of the child victim shows that his or her parental guardianship does not meet the child's rehabilitation and return needs, the child victim is temporarily or permanently removed from the family of origin, separated from his parents and placed in the national alternative care service system.
In order to help children improve or even eliminate confusion or deviations in psychological and behavioral aspects, that is, to effectively improve the negative emotions, biased behaviors and negative social cognition of individual children, and promote their healthy physical and mental growth, parents or other caregivers should pay attention to:
First of all, we must build rapport;
Try to fully embrace the child;
Be sensitive to your child's emotional expressions and respond accordingly;
In the process of communication, it is necessary to focus on the child;
Step by step, don't be too impatient.
In order to help children cope with the confusion or difficulties encountered in their development, the caregiver should focus on education and guidance and information.
For high-risk children, it is necessary to guide and correct behaviors, attitudes and values, and the caregiver should help children to gain recognition of themselves, recognize their rights, and improve their ability to cope with difficulties and challenges while getting out of difficulties. The content of the tutorial is as follows:
The first stage: to understand yourself and others, to understand the diversity of individuals, the similarity and uniqueness of groups;
The second stage: recognize various emotions, develop "empathy", including recognizing one's own and others' feelings, understanding how one's actions affect others, learning to think in empathy, thinking from the perspective of others, etc.;
The third stage: learn to listen actively, understand certain communication skills, including learning to express their feelings and thoughts clearly and directly, and learning to detect and respond to verbal and nonverbal communication information in interpersonal communication;
Stage 4: Learn how to get along in a friendly and cooperative way, including understanding non-competitive and cooperative attitudes, practicing friendly cooperation skills in competition, etc.;
Stage Five: Learn to make choices and take responsibility, including how to refuse, how to deal with conflict, career planning, prevention of substance abuse, sex education, how to make decisions, etc.
(How to talk about it later.) ）
Case studies
Xiao Fen, a third-grade elementary school student, was raised by her grandparents after her father went to prison and her mother ran away from home. In order to make up for the lack of parental love, grandparents love and care in every way. In order to avoid Being ridiculed, Xiao Fen was almost forbidden to play with other children, and she rarely interacted with relatives. Xiao Fen is introverted, loves to cry, and is afraid of contact with people.
Xiao Fen's parents are not around, and although they are cared for by their grandparents, they still lack love. Under the care of grandparents, introverted, afraid to talk to people at school, without the curiosity that children of this age should have. Her circle of life is only her grandparents, which is easily disconnected from society and requires further socialization.
Xiao Fen, under the overprotective of her grandparents, already has social problems. In order to let her get out of the wrong thinking of interpersonal communication, she should be encouraged to communicate more with classmates and friends, learn from each other, and establish a good interpersonal circle. When she makes relevant progress, praise her in time to enhance her self-confidence and prompt her to change her current introverted personality.
She can also lead her out of her closed circle through entertainment and leisure activities and gradually integrate into society.
The starting point of the grandparents is to prevent Xiao Fen from being hurt, but the educational behavior needs to be improved, and the closed environment is not conducive to growth; when the father is in prison, the mother should understand that he has the legal obligation to raise Xiao Fen, and maternal love is the most indispensable emotional foundation for the growth of children, and can assist in finding Xiao Fen's mother and persuading her to visit.
Integrate social resources to help Xiaofen establish a good social support network. Communicate with relatives, it is recommended to visit Xiaofen and her grandparents more, and at the same time integrate community resources to improve the living environment, so that the elderly can let down their guard, let Xiaofen communicate with the outside world, and promote Xiaofen's healthy growth.
Of course, there is more than one participant, children should learn to take responsibility, adults should have the courage to take responsibility, in addition to responsibility, people should also have more love and understanding. In a harmonious society, everyone has the responsibility and everyone benefits.
May every child be treated with tenderness.