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"Metamorphosis": "To live beautifully, it takes a great deal of patience, one does not complain, the other does not explain." ”
Whether it is a complaint or an explanation, the premise is that there is disagreement or misalignment in thinking. People who can recognize that people are different from each other after all will accept that others do not agree with their own opinions, or that their thoughts are misplaced, and will not resort to emotions; while people who do not recognize that people are different after all will let emotions come first.
Similar to the explanation and complaining and other emotions, are unfavorable to people's physical and mental emotions, do not try to make yourself feel good through explanation or complaint, bad emotions will only cause mental internal friction, there is no way to make yourself live beautifully.
Of course, this does not mean that those who live beautifully are born to know patience and restraint, they have also experienced the process of learning, they have also suffered the loss of appealing to emotions, their advantage is that they have really achieved a long and wise, and will not let things that are unfavorable to their own body and mind affect them all the time.
The following woman lives beautifully, which is in line with the situation mentioned above, let's take a look at what is going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I think you can write about this topic: What are the characteristics of a woman who does not suffer losses in her in-laws' family?
Many friends think that I live a beautiful life and envy that I do not suffer losses in my in-laws' house. In fact, I think it's OKAY, not too good, not too bad, if I really want to say what skills, I can only say: focus on loving yourself, be yourself.
Once, like others, I only looked at the surface of the problem, and when I saw that someone was better off than me, I ignored what others had experienced before they had a good life. It wasn't until after I got married that I started valuing what was behind the glamour.
Few people can be happy casually, and for most people, happiness needs to be created, it needs to be fought for, and before that, you may take a lot of detours.
Take myself, before getting married, I didn't think about marrying far away, nor did I think about how to deal with the various trivialities of marriage, just busy with the immediate affairs, thinking that I could take one step at a time, and as a result, I took the road that made myself less satisfied.
If my in-laws are very kind to me, marrying far away will not make me feel painful; but the truth is that my in-laws are not good to me, and marrying far away makes me feel too sacrificed. However, I did not give up on marriage because in my opinion, when I encounter problems, I should try to solve them first, and if I give up when I encounter problems, life will repeatedly face many obstacles.
The so-called attempt to solve the problem, does not mean that all problems can be solved, like my relationship with my in-laws, can never be solved, because we have a serious misalignment in thinking and concepts, they have not corrected their own wrong ideas, I can not be backwards compatible with their wrong ideas, so always can not come together, I can solve the problem, is how to make the quality of life from bad to better.
At first, when I had no money, my in-laws looked down on me; later, when I had money, they used me as a cash cow. Both of these situations are unacceptable to me, so all I can do is draw a line with them and not give them a good look.
Just like when my mother-in-law asked me why I didn't let her daughter come to my house to sit in confinement, I replied to her: "Although I have money, I don't raise idle people and people who don't know respect!" How you treated me before, you can pretend to forget, but I will not forget! People who once looked down on me, when they saw that I had money, began to count me, why should I agree? When you want to get benefits from me, why don't you think about whether you have benefited me? Since I don't, I'm not obligated to spend a sum of money that makes me miserable! ”
Anyway, I think that if a woman wants to not suffer losses in her in-laws' house, she must make herself strong, what do you think?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
The woman's final lesson, from the reality of her marriage, is no problem, but there is one premise she did not mention, and that is her husband.
Although she did not mention her husband from beginning to end, judging from the state in which she could do her own thing smoothly, her husband was a qualified partner, standing on the united front with her, distinguishing right from wrong, and respecting and supporting her.
In this way, we can answer the question she raised from another angle: if a woman wants to not suffer losses in her in-laws' house, she must make herself strong, and at the same time have a good husband who understands and supports herself. After meeting these two conditions, no matter whether the in-laws are good or bad, you will not suffer losses.
On the contrary, if you are not strong enough, even if you have a good husband, you will suffer losses; perhaps you will not suffer losses on the surface, but you who are fragile in your heart will think of wrongdoing when you encounter problems, and live in fear, which is equivalent to being bullied by your in-laws in disguise.
If you don't have a good husband, even if you are very strong, your life will not be satisfactory, because your marriage is broken, and the other people in the in-laws can't change this fact, and you will always feel cheated.
From a theoretical point of view, it can be summarized into two aspects: "choice" and "management". Know how to choose marriage, do not marry the wrong person, and then two people together to run the marriage well, as long as the internal environment of the marriage is not a problem, the problem of the external environment can be ignored.