Men who are so kind to you, no matter how much you love, don't associate anymore

Love is a beautiful thing, it can open a person's long-sealed heart, let people's hearts feel warm at the same time, but also promote dopamine to make themselves feel happy.

It can be said that good love can achieve the effect of "plastic surgery", after all, it is born from the heart, a person's mentality is good, and the appearance will naturally follow the cheerfulness, so for women, the happy heart is always the best cosmetics.

However, some men do not manage love well, and they act recklessly in the middle of it, and they hurt the hearts of others in vain.

In a relationship between the sexes, men who treat you like this, no matter how much you love, don't associate anymore.

A man who exerts perverted control over you

Anjiahe in the TV series "Don't Talk to Strangers" has a strong desire for control, and his desire to control has even reached a morbid level.

He does not allow his wife to say a word to other men, even if it is a colleague at work, as long as he sees it, he will force a confession on his wife, questioning her over and over again why she wants to talk to men, why she does not listen to her own words, whether she does not love herself, the wife explains that he does not listen, when he is angry, he will punch and kick his wife, just being beaten into the hospital no less than five times.

Is such a feeling love? No, it is just the means of a selfish, refined egoist to satisfy his own pathological desire for control, which has never had anything to do with love.

Because if you love someone, you will definitely restrain your inner thoughts, and you will understand that good love gives people a feeling of freedom and comfort, not a sense of imprisonment.

In life, if we have a relationship with a man, and this man checks our mobile phones and social networks very strictly on weekdays, then it means that this man has a strong desire to control, and his personality is very extreme, extremely easy to be emotional.

Love is not control, such control will only destroy a woman's expectations of love, and the love we should have is not glued, not sticky, so men with a strong desire to control even if they are good to us, do not risk trying.

Men who degrade you to worthlessness

01) "Look at you, you can't even cook a noodle, what use do I want you to have?" "Can you eat less, what kind of fat you're, don't you know?"

"As long as you are like this, I am willing to make it up, put it on others, it must not be rare for you"

Do you feel familiar with these words? That's right, this is what a lot of women often hear men say to themselves when they're in a relationship with a man.

These women have a common characteristic, that is, they are very inferior, they feel that they are the worst people in the world, and their boyfriends are their own light, their own whole universe, and they are being PUA by the other half.

The so-called PUA is actually a kind of control of the spirit, and the core of the PUA routine is to make the victim feel unworthy by constantly degrading the victim.

02), the famous psychologist Wu Zhihong, once made such an explanation for the feeling of unworthiness: "The feeling of unworthiness can also be called a powerful phobia. That is to say, when a person is strong enough to exceed his expectations, there will be a deep sense of discomfort, resulting in his inability to withstand and guard this sudden good thing. ”

When a person is constantly denied, then over time, he will feel unworthy, they are always feeling guilty, feeling that they are not worthy of being treated well, not worthy of rewards and praise.

And such a person can only be led by the nose of the other half, in order to maintain a relationship, even if he bows his posture, he is willing, but how can such a man give us the happiness we want?

Men who use cold violence against you

In the TV series "A Piece of Wood", Luo Yan's boyfriend's handling of the problem is very extreme, as long as he is unhappy, it will "evaporate in the world", no matter how much news Luo Yan sends, he will not see it, even if Luo Yan comes to him, he is also an indifferent look.

It's not that he doesn't know how to solve it, but compared to explaining bitterly, cold violence doesn't cost anything, and even the other party will take the initiative to apologize because he can't stand such torture.

It's just that such a way is unfair to women.

According to the definition of the psychoanalyst Marie Irigoyan in her famous book Cold Violence, we can understand it like this: "Cold violence is a kind of violence, which mainly takes the form of coldness, contempt, laissez-faire, alienation and indifference, resulting in the mental and psychological violation and harm of others." ”

The harm caused by cold violence to people comes from the spiritual level, it is irreversible, and the solution to our problem is to put it on the table and talk openly, rather than hiding it and being tortured in such a way by others.

Remember that a man who is cold to you must not love you because he will not consider your feelings, so if you meet a man who uses cold violence against you, remember to stay away.