In recent years, warm men have become the supreme realm of raising boys.
Parents want to raise a little warm man who is empathetic, knows how to share, and thinks differently.
I hope this little warm man grows up and becomes a popular person.
There is nothing wrong with the wishes of parents, but blindly letting children learn to be humble and warm to others is likely to make children become a person who is warm on the surface but cannot be warm on the inside.
01、
The eleven-year-old bungee in the variety show "The Boy Who Opened His Heart" is the little warm man in other people's population.
He usually treats people gently, respects the elders, takes good care of his five-year-old sister, never competes with his sister for favors, and sometimes, his parents take care of his sister and ignore him, and he does not complain.
Once, Dad told him to turn off the gas, he accidentally touched the alarm device, when the jump was frightened and overwhelmed, Dad came over a few drops, such a simple thing can not be done well, and slapped him.
Mom was very distressed and ready to comfort him, but he in turn comforted his mother: "No pain, Mom, it's all my fault", and also took the initiative to apologize to Dad: "Dad, I'm sorry, I won't do it again next time."
Seeing this, everyone began to feel sorry for this "sensible" little boy.
In the show, Bunding finally said his heart, in fact, he was not happy in this family, and his heart has been very depressed.
In order to meet the needs of adults, Bunding silently swallowed grievances and sadness into his stomach every time, pretending to be sensible.
Warmed everyone around me, but only cold myself.
02、
Sometimes, we blindly teach children to share, humble, and take care of other people's feelings, but we are not careful, pushing children into a "flattering personality".
In the educational program "Dialogue Growth", a boy said that his classmates asked him to borrow things, and what he did not want to borrow was lent to his classmates, and he was useless.
But he was worried that if he didn't borrow, the other party wouldn't be good with him, and he would eventually borrow.
A mother said that her son and classmates made an appointment to go out together, but the next morning they found that they were unwell, and the child was afraid of affecting the relationship with his classmates, so he still endured.
The behavior of these two children actually has a certain flattering personality trait, because they are afraid that others will not be happy, they choose to suppress their own needs and cater to others.
What will happen to such a child when he grows up?
Xiao Mo in the previously popular TV series "Female Psychologist" is a "warm man" recognized by everyone.
In the office, he is very kind to everyone, helping everyone buy coffee, colleagues will ask him for help with any problems at work, and even colleagues will go out to play, they will throw their unfinished work to him, although he is unwilling in his heart, he will accept it all.
However, his efforts were not appreciated by his colleagues, but were repeatedly ignored, Xiao Mo was warm as spring on the surface, but fragmented in his heart, cold as an ice cellar. Finally had to see a psychiatrist.
As the Godfather says, "Kindness without boundaries will only make the other party inching forward." Unprincipled kindness will only make the other person do whatever he wants. ”
03
03、
In life, there are actually many people who have wronged themselves and fulfilled others.
On the surface, it is a kind of "warm man" behavior, but in fact, it is a kind of "flattering" behavior.
The two behaviors appear to be the same on the surface, but the internal psychological motivations are completely different.
The behavior of warm men is to truly be good for others from the heart, want to help others, and naturally make others feel warm through words and behaviors.
The act of flattery is the opposite, because the heart is not strong enough, out of fear, suppress the self, and warm yourself by pleasing others.
Therefore, as parents, we can teach our children to be polite, share, and humble, but before that, please teach your children to respect their feelings and follow their hearts.
Because only those who warm themselves have the residual heat to warm others.
A person who does not even pay attention to his own feelings, although he warms others, but burns himself.
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