I am a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home mom who is constantly fulfilling her self-worth. Reject anxiety, refuse "inner volume", easy parenting, rational treatment of married life, tolerant response to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, I hope that some of my views can make you suddenly enlightened, can bring you positive energy, and solve your practical problems.
Wen | has a small bell pepper (the original is not easy, please do not copy, welcome to personal reprint and share)
Figure| source network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
Every child in the process of growth, are to abide by a certain growth law, most children are the same, but in different environments, children will grow in different directions.
When there is a difference in children's behavior, parents should not always attribute the problem to "innate", reflect more on their own educational methods and family atmosphere, and scientific analysis can find the root of the problem.
Before the child goes to kindergarten, the parents are most worried that the child will not be able to adapt and cry when he encounters things.
But why do children love to cry, and why do they use crying to express their emotions when they encounter problems?
Is it the child's innate personality, or is there a problem with family education?
Crying after saying two sentences is a manifestation of the child's low quotient
Children before the age of 2 and a half to cry without moving, is a normal performance, after the child 2 and a half years old, still can't move to cry, parents should analyze the problem, and then find a way to solve it.
I don't know if the baby has these performances, wrestling and crying, the toy can't find the big cry, others move his toys still cry, the child as long as he encounters a little unpleasant thing, he begins to cry, and does not give others the opportunity to communicate at all.
This performance of the child is not innate, but a manifestation of low inverse quotient.
What is "inverse quotient low"? It is to encounter setbacks, emotions will begin to collapse, no matter the size of the setbacks, emotions are collapsed, and it is impossible to face setbacks head-on.
Low inverse quotient is not innate, and is related to the acquired environment and the way parents educate and guide.
These two family education methods are easy for children to reverse the quotient
There are two kinds of family education, parents need to pay attention to, easy to cause children to reverse the quotient low, when the child has some obvious problems, parents should not blindly throw the pot to the "gene", but also to self-examine the education problems and the family environment provided for the child.
1. Often yell at the child
The family environment is often filled with anger and complaining, and family members rarely speak well between each other.
In particular, there is no normal communication between parents, and there is no normal communication between parents and children, and parents' attitude towards their children is that they can yell at their children at every turn.
The child has no opportunity to express the appeal, and if there is a little resistance, the parents will yell at the child or even beat the child.
In such a bad family environment, children are always careful, and when they are reprimanded by their parents for two sentences, their emotions are easy to collapse, and the direct performance is crying, because they are afraid of the next parents' reaction.
Around the age of 3, the brain development maturity reaches 80%, has been able to communicate and express normally, if the child at this stage is still crying at every turn, parents should really reflect on the educational methods and the family environment provided for the child.
There is still a chance to alleviate the stop loss in time, otherwise it will have a bad impact on the child's personality development.
2. The child will be soft as soon as he cries
There is also a family environment, the family atmosphere is very harmonious, parents attach great importance to the guidance and education of their children, very concerned about the growth of children, and even have a tendency to pay too much attention.
Mothers pay special attention to the development of their children's personality, fearing that it will limit the development of their children's personality and have a bad impact on their children, trying to enable their children to grow up in an absolutely free environment.
As everyone knows, there is no absolute freedom, and any freedom is based on the observance of rules, and the same is true for children.
Parents will also limit the child, give the child a more correct guidance, but whenever the parent points out the child's incorrect behavior, the child grins to cry, in order to avoid the child crying, the parents will let it go and do things according to the child's wishes.
For example, at 10 p.m., the child still wants to watch cartoons, and the mother says that she can't watch cartoons, which is not good for the eyes, and the child will grin and cry.
Mom could only say, "Then delay for another half an hour, and go to bed after half an hour." ”
There are many cases such as this, in order to achieve the goal, children often use such methods to threaten parents, and repeatedly try not to be happy.
This also makes the child develop the habit of crying at every turn, in order to achieve the goal.
Children cry at every turn, and parents can guide and educate in this way
First find the root cause of the problem, and then the specific problem is analyzed, if it is because of the first situation, the solution is very simple, that is, to change the atmosphere of the family, ease the family relationship, especially the parents subconsciously communicate well, pay attention to the attitude of speaking, and improve the relationship between family members.
When facing children, be more patient, communicate more harmoniously, and give children the opportunity to express their hearts.
In this way, the child's problem will be solved slowly.
If it is the second case, the solution is also very simple, and one of the core contents is "don't resist the child crying".
The more parents resist this, the more the child will use such a performance to achieve the goal.
The solution is to give the child enough time to react, perform, act, and wait until the child is emotionally stable, and then firmly tell the child what to do and what not to do.
If the child still can't understand, or use crying to solve the problem, parents will patiently wait aside and give the child enough time to cry.
Children will always find a "slope" for themselves, have such an experience, children know that crying can not achieve the purpose, want to achieve the goal, can only communicate well with their parents.
To name a common scenario: a 3-year-old baby likes to throw toys around, and every time dad cleans up the toys, the baby will cry and make a fuss.
At first, in order not to make her cry, the parents would no longer clean up the toys, but the toys at home were everywhere, and the child not only did not reduce the number of crying, but intensified, and when she touched her toys, she would cry.
After that, the parents changed their strategy, every time the father wanted to clean up the toys before the baby will discuss, the baby grinned to cry, the father patiently asked her why, she said: "Because I don't want you to collect the toy." ”
Dad asked: "If the toy is not stepped on, it will hurt, and the home is very messy, what do you say you want to do?" ”
The baby did not speak, and the father continued to negotiate with her: "Give you two choices, one is to collect the toy yourself, the other is that I will help you collect the toy, crying is useless, you must collect the toy before going to bed." ”
At first, the baby's emotions were very excited, and she used crying to declare sovereignty, and then gradually, she knew that crying was useless, so she obediently collected the toys herself and never had to cry to solve the problem.
When the child's behavior is problematic, parents should not use "innate" to excuse themselves, the child is a mirror, the behavior can just reflect the family education, so when the child's behavior is problematic, parents should first reflect on the family education method and the family atmosphere created for the child.