Every new mother will have such a feeling: the more parenting articles I read, the more panicked I am, and I feel that I have a lot of knowledge, how to finish learning? Some mothers study very hard, and some mothers simply give up learning.
I will not talk about parenting today, but I would like to share with you the learning ideas of my early childhood education in the years before I became a mother.
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01
Learn concept modules instead of technical scatters
When I study any subject, including parenting, I am accustomed to learning conceptual modules rather than technical scatters, and I am guaranteed to memorize them and internalize them.
Now this society is originally overloaded with information, and after becoming a mother, everyone's time is more precious, so if you spend time to learn, you must learn the best.
The so-called "concept" is the backbone of the skin and tendons, and when you learn this, you master the whole.
When I first became a parent, no one knew what the big picture was, so how to learn concepts? In fact, it is very simple, when encountering children's problems, ask more "how, why", less ask "how to do, how to do".
For example:
Newborn children, we must be most concerned about the amount of milk and weight, many mothers are used to asking, "My family's milk in a day seems to be less than 500 ml, what to do?" What if my family is only 12 pounds in 3 months? ”
Ask in this way, you must also get one or more tricks, such as feeding frequency or something.
Maybe you adopted it, and by the time the child reaches four months, you may have a similar problem again. In this way, you will naturally feel that there are many points of knowledge, and you can't learn it.
I pulled myself out of the technical scatter in time, and I asked, "How can I tell that my daughter is full?" How can I tell if my daughter's height and weight are developing normally? "As soon as these two questions were asked, I knew how to scientifically judge the amount of milk, and I also understood the growth curve.
This is to learn the concept, after clearly grasping the concept, and then look at one or two practical methods, we can evolve a variety of tricks ourselves, instead of constantly "fighting fire".
This is also why, when Little D1 was young, I cleaned up a group of parenting public accounts that only shared the evolution of tricks every day, and saved time to start reading parenting books systematically, and gradually established a clearer concept.
Parents of children within the age of 1, my recommended book list, poke - > the first year of momhood book list - after reading more than 50 parenting books, I recommend four books
02
You can only learn to swim if you go into the water
Like the experience of learning to swim in that year, I watched a lot of swimming competition videos, and I watched and compared the movements, and I felt that the movements were already very skilled and standard. But when I went into the water in the first class, I found that the standard of the comparison on the shore was completely different in the water.
The same is true for learning parenting, the deepest impression is that I have been reading a lot of parent-child reading articles since I was pregnant, and I have also listened to a lot of recordings of big V reading picture books.
I didn't speak vividly since I was a child, and I was envious at that time. I probably have dozens of these articles in my WeChat favorites, but no matter how much I collect, I am still the mother who can't tell stories.
So, when little D2 months later, I made a decision to buy a picture book and start reading it for her.
I remember when my girlfriend knew, she laughed at me, such a small child you began to read picture books, how can she understand ah? Of course, I know that she can't understand it, and the reason why I started so early is because I know my limitations and read the textbooks like I stumble, so I need to practice in advance.
After practice, all kinds of knowledge can be linked, which is the process of internalization
At the beginning, before I read each picture book to Little D, I would do my own homework, record the main points in the notebook against the articles in my favorites, and listen to the audio to imitate and learn, and finally I would read it several times until I was proficient.
So from her 2 months to almost 30 months old, it was used as an opportunity to practice, I never asked her if she was willing to listen, I only cared about whether I read well enough. Later, I was also the mother who could tell stories to her daughter, and often opened her mouth to make up a small story.
The reason why we always say, "After learning so much parenting knowledge, it is still difficult to bring a child" is because a lot of our knowledge is still only in the "favorites".
Many mothers say, "When you are a mother, you have to learn a lot, you are so tired." In fact, tired is right, the essence of learning is to get out of their comfort zone, and this should be tired.
Don't worry that what you do is not good enough, but worry that you will always be in the stage of "doing it later" and "seeing it and doing it". Only by going into the water can you learn to swim, and only practice is "taking" children.
Practice is not necessarily perfect, but it is certain to progress
03
Deliberately practice what you are not good at
Go with your right hand to the left front toy. After sitting alone, practice holding it behind your back, such as holding your right hand to the left rear toy.
One year, I decided to start running a marathon, so I asked myself to run 10 kilometers a day, but when I finished my first half marathon, I ran very hard. I was very confused, I was training every day, I worked so hard every day, why was the half marathon so tired?
Later, I met a veteran runner and found out why.
My muscles are used to running 10 kilometers a day for 1 hour, and I seem to be very diligent, but the effect on muscle stimulation is not great.
Later, I joined variable speed running and joined strength training, which obviously made me feel harder, but also significantly improved my running ability, and then I completed my first full marathon.
This experience is like the first year of many of our parents, after studying hard to eat, drink and sleep, we slowly went from being a troubled parent to being at ease. But often after the child is 1 year old, many parents find themselves overwhelmed.
In the final analysis, because most parents are used to only doing what they are good at, the child is over 1 year old, we may still just stay in the daily diet, weight and height, etc., then naturally our learning has not kept up with the growth of children.
Not to say that these are not important, but we need to realize that we are raising a well-rounded person, then we need both short-term goal implementation, but also medium- and long-term goal setting, do not use "tactical diligence to cover up their strategic laziness."
The most ridiculous thing is to do the same thing over and over again, but expect different results. It's time to change the runway!
For me, parenting is three modules: children, us and children, and ourselves. The first year of, and fart supplements, etc. are all children, and what we learn is the most basic what to do for children.
When the child is over 1 year old, many times the requirement is to establish the relationship between us and the child, the mode of interaction, at this time, a lot of "what to do for the child" will gradually change to "do it with the child until the child is allowed to do it independently".
Whether this transition is smooth or not will also affect how to discipline children to make rules and how to carry out early cognitive enlightenment.
The last one is ourselves, the clichéd "parenting", but in the end, the essence of education is to help children establish a good thinking system, language expression, and emotional management from an early age. And this, which we do not have ourselves, is difficult to teach by example.
That's why, at the age of D2, I started reading a variety of other "miscellaneous books" and learning more about the module "Myself.". That's why I was back in school on weekends and days to go back to early childhood education because I realized that "I didn't know what I didn't know."
Green is the knowledge we know, purple is the knowledge we know we don't know, and yellow is the knowledge we don't know we don't know. Don't spend a lot of your time on the green part.
04
The shortcut is the furthest road
In the first two years of my job, my favorite articles and books were titles like "10 Minutes to Get You To Understand Economics" and "3 Minutes to Read Famous Books."
But close the book and ask yourself, how much is what I really digest and understand? And how much is what I really practice? Later, I think that the time it takes us to read the books in a hurry is actually enough for us to calm down and seriously read 10 to 20 good books.
Experience has taught me that express-cut ones may seem simple but not nutritious, which is why I insist on writing "brain-intensive" but unflattering articles.
At the end of the day, life is the most unfair, and we spend a lot of time looking for shortcuts and tricks to find parenting, but in the end it may point to nothing.
But life is extremely fair, and our efforts, serious thinking, practical experience, and even wrong lessons will make us better minds, more keen observations, more accurate intuitions, and will guide us to become a better person, and parents are only part of the role.
Shortcuts are actually the farthest road; stolen coincidences are actually deadly clumsiness.
Big J, a former executive of fortune-500 companies, is an expert in international integration education. 5 million parents pay attention to, good at children's whole brain enlightenment, parent-child reading, early education at home, sharing the latest parenting concepts.
He is the author of the best-selling parenting book "The Secret of Falling in Love with Reading" series and the "Learning Early Education with American Kindergarten Teachers" series trilogy.
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