Remember this scene in "Family with Children"?
Liu Xing complained that his mother did not "force" him, if he had forced him, he might have become a little star with both talents and talents.
Unfortunately, most parents now "don't understand things" and are unwilling to force their children, and a sentence of "if the child does not like it, do not force him" to solve all the troubles.
The following passage must be familiar to every piano child's family:
"Mom, will you just play it again?"
"Mom, it's too hard, I don't want to learn."
"Mom, I'm sleepy and can't concentrate now."
......
Every time at this time, parents have to "wrestle wits" with their children. Sometimes looking at the children who are aggrieved to the point of tears, soft-hearted parents begin to compromise:
"Forget it, if the child doesn't like it, don't force him."
However, we do not know that the heartache of this moment will affect the child's life. If we "forget it" today, we will "forget it" tomorrow, but only education and growth must be persisted, and we must "force it", and we cannot count it.
It hurts me to force you now
Don't force you to be more distressed later
Some time ago, Yang Qian, the "Tsinghua Xueba" after the first Olympic gold, frequently searched. With countless auras, she could simply seal the "god" in place.
But the audience only sees the mighty light behind her success, but can't see the countless attempts to give up behind her.
At the age of 12, the budding Yang Qian entered the elite Youth Olympic team, and in the face of a huge disparity in strength and being defeated again and again, she had the idea of giving up countless times.
Whenever she cried to her father, Yang's father always said firmly: "No, you can't give up." Think about how much you loved shooting. Hold on a little longer! ”
Under the "persecution" of her father, she had to grit her teeth and persevere. Later, she was admitted to Tsinghua University, and she had to train and take classes every day. Too busy to rest, she thought of giving up her studies.
This time, Yang's father once again forced her to persist: "Reading, at any time, can not be wrong." ”
In this way, Yang Qian also gritted her teeth and completed the study little by little, never hanging up the subject. This is the current Olympic champion of Tsinghua University - Yang Qian.
Presumably, there is no parent who is not distressed when "forcing" their children, but they understand better that some things must be forced to be done by their children. Because, forcing you now, I am distressed, and I am not forcing you to be more distressed in the future.
All the ease of youth
Growing up is a deep pit of regret
If you ask: Will those "untouched" children grow up to thank their parents for their kindness?
Most people shake their heads and sigh.
Yes, how many adult regrets stem from giving up at a young age. And such a renunciation could have been prevented by parents.
A sentence in the "Tsinghua Xueba Teaching Zi Jing": "Parents should understand that when their children are young, they lack self-control, and it is the norm not to take the initiative to learn and other difficult things, and the initiative is not the norm." ”
When the child "does not take the initiative", if the parents are soft for a while and agree to the child to give up, then what is exchanged for this is not necessarily the child's gratitude, but may be a lifelong complaint.
Because the children who have been "not forced" since childhood have obtained a relaxed and happy childhood, what awaits them for the rest of their lives will be a life of inaction, and the regrets when they dream back in the middle of the night.
Follow the rules
Step by step "force" the child
Some people may say that "forcing children" is too cruel, which will make children have an unhappy childhood, and even have a negative impact.
In fact, in the concept of modern education, the concept of "forcing" is not blindly tough and persecuted, but constantly moving forward in following the laws of education.
So, in the process of "forcing" the child, how to be effective without hurting the child?
01
Focus on guidance, better than tough
Lang Lang learned piano, at the beginning he was forced to learn by his father, forced by his crazy father, Lang Lang and his father broke out a cold war, and there was no touch of the piano for three months. Later, after his father thought bitterly, he changed his method and changed his toughness to guidance and encouragement, and Lang Lang picked up the piano again, and from then on, his life was hanging out of control.
On the road of "forcing" children to grow, it is very important to be a parent who "understands" children, can not blindly force, to learn to be flexible, timely "coercion and inducement" and "enwei and shi" may achieve unexpected results.
02
Accompany and give feedback
When "forcing" children to learn, the careful companionship of parents will become the motivation for children to persevere.
But in the process of accompanying children, we must pay attention to these 3 points:
Rest assured mobile phone, full companionship
Many parents are used to looking at their mobile phones from time to time when accompanying their children, and some even look at mobile phones the whole time. Such companionship will not only interfere with the child's attention, but may also cause the child to have feelings that you do not pay attention to him.
When accompanying your child, you should put down your mobile phone as much as possible and devote yourself wholeheartedly, so that your child will feel your concern and concern, and he will be more willing to stick to it.
Give your child timely feedback
The company of parents is not only to prevent children from feeling lonely, but more importantly, to give feedback to children during their practice. In addition to the children themselves, parents are also important candidates for feedback.
What's wrong with this piece? Where does this playing sound less fluent? This time you can play better?
As long as parents are careful, they can give some feedback. And this feedback will allow children to find problems and continue to improve.
Some roads are very long, and it will be very tiring to go down, but if you don't go, you will regret it.
However, compared with a momentary tiredness, the regret for the rest of the life is more difficult to bear.
Therefore, when the children are young, parents should "force" the children to do not let them choose comfort prematurely at the hard age, otherwise what awaits them will be deep remorse.
Only children who are "forced" to grow up from an early age will exercise perseverance stronger than ordinary people and the courage to overcome difficulties. Such a child will have more choices after adulthood and can live the life they yearn for.
★
END
Education is very beautiful, the road is very difficult, today's parents must have a stronger heart, for their children to adhere to the correct education.
Parents must let their children understand that only by resisting the bitterness of youth can they appreciate the sweetness of the future.