In our impression, parents are within their own capabilities and are willing to give their children the best material life. However, there are also some parents who are particularly critical of their children because of their childhood experiences or economic conditions.
What is it like for a parent to be particularly critical of their child? The people who came over were miserable
Li Qian entered the sacred hall of the university with great excitement, but she found that the university life was not so beautiful, because compared with the high school life, the cost was slightly higher, and Li Qian knew that her parents were very reluctant to give her living expenses. Li Qian's parents are all salaried workers in public institutions, although they are not rich and wealthy, but they are also a relatively stable income group, but their parents are very critical of their children.
Li Qian has an older brother, the brother has long graduated from college, and has been married, and his wife has given birth to a lovely daughter. After Li Qian went to college, her mother gave her 500 yuan a month for living expenses, and what about the remaining part that was not enough? Mom always said to her, "My salary and that of your father and I are not as high as your brother's, and it is enough for you to ask your brother for 1,000 yuan a month." ”
Li Qian's brother did have a very high salary and often secretly gave her pocket money. However, giving too much money to her sister, the wife is also unhappy. The wife always said: "Your mother usually cuts the door to us like this, does not give the child a penny to spend, and now she still wants us to provide for your sister to go to college. ”
The sister-in-law was unwilling to pay, and Li Qian knew it. But mom wanted her brother to go to college for herself, and she knew it. Li Qian was very embarrassed to be sandwiched in the middle. Therefore, she became the most frugal person in the whole dormitory, and all the holidays were used for work-study. Because of her good academic performance, everyone thought that she would continue to study for graduate school, and as a result, she quickly joined the work as soon as she graduated, and she felt that she was very happy to be able to earn money to support herself.
Parents are not very poor, but it is very wrong to be very critical of their children, especially in their children's education. Parents hope that their children can be diligent and thrifty, and from an early age, they are poor to their children, and they do not pay attention to the quality of life of their children. Diligence and thrift are traditional virtues, but excessive door cutting is psychologically harmful to children.
Excessive frugality by parents can have these negative effects on their children:
First, children have an inferiority complex because they are inferior to others everywhere.
Parents are worried that their children's material life is too rich and will produce a comparison psychology, so they raise their children poorly and let him eat and wear a little worse than others.
For example, some parents often give their children old clothes that relatives and friends don't want. Children find a gap from the comparison between themselves and others, and they will feel that their parents do not love themselves, so they are reluctant to spend money on themselves, or their parents often instill the idea of "our family is very poor", so they will slowly produce inferiority feelings, and their personality is also very unconfident.
Second, the excessive frugality of parents makes children short-sighted.
There is a famous saying abroad: poverty will not give you strength, poverty will only teach you how to become poor.
Parents' frugality in their children's education, long-term insight, and life will make children feel that their survival is a problem, and their eyes will focus on solving immediate problems such as dressing and eating, not to mention that he will have a lofty ideal of yearning for the sea of stars.
Therefore, the child's insight is not necessarily piled up with money, but excessive frugality can make him have no insight.
Third, living a poor and hard life from a young age makes people feel insecure.
What can give us a sense of security is that we have no worries about food and clothing, and we have a certain amount of savings in our hands to resist the uncertainties in life, and we will live more at ease. If you have been upset since you were a child because your family did not have money for you to study, you are often warned not to spend money indiscriminately, otherwise the whole family will drink the northwest wind, such a life is insecure.
Some people earn more than 10,000 yuan a month, and they are not willing to spend money, because when they spend money, they will feel guilty, so he also becomes a person who has money and dares not spend it, and lives a miserly life, because only when he has money in his hand, he feels safe.
Fourth, when the child is poor, the child grows up, there may be a compensatory psychology.
The child has lived a very frugal life with his parents since he was a child, and his material desires have never been satisfied, and when he grows up, there may be a compensatory psychology.
There are some people who have no sense of shopping, as long as they have money in their hands, they must buy and buy, and if they have no money to borrow money, they must buy famous brands. Such children, often their parents are very frugal, the child's suppressed desire, suddenly inflated.
Parents say that their children are "money breakers" and it is very expensive to raise children. I think that raising children does not need to be excessively poor, nor is it necessary to be excessively rich, as long as they are in accordance with their own economic conditions, it is most appropriate to give children a more appropriate life and education.